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Frightening thoughts after death of father

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Hello. I am 17 years old, and since my father died 3 months ago, I started to feel weird. First I have these frightening thoughts, it's like i'm about to die, moodiness, feeling very tired, both mentally and physically, even if I don't do much in a day, lack of sleep, feeling like I'm not myself, it's like I'm in a movie or a dream. I don't feel going outside to take a walk in the city, park, or go to a crowded place like the market. I feel like a hundred of voices are talking loudly in my head. I also feel like the sounds play much more powerful than usually. I had chest pains, powerful headaches, pressure, numbness at chest, back, neck and head, and also pain, and my legs and arms are trembling. I also feel like I can't get enough air. When it's breakfast, dinner, supper time, I feel like I'm full, and I don't feel like eating. I went to a doctor, and he said I got nerve inflammations, and that's why I felt numbness, pains, can't tilt neck, hands and lags are like moving because of the nerves. I mostly spend my time at the computer, trying to avoid anyone and/or trying to feel good, to somehow trick the mind not to think of those terrifying thoughts. Sometimes when people ask me, I feel angry, not wanting to talk to them, like I'm crazy, out of control. I sometimes wake up at midnight, and I feel weird, like I'm still in the dream. Sometimes the nightmares are taking over my thoughts. And also I noticed I can't concentrate much, and I feel like I starting to forget things, like what I did four days ago, or what was last summer. I don't enjoy doing the things I used to do, before the tragic event happening. I didn't cried when my father died, and neither at his funeral, but now I really feel like missing him. Every time when I dream about him, it's like dreaming before he died, it's like the mind still thinks as it was before. It's hard without him, and I think the stress was caused by his death, without anyone wanting this. His death was very fast, he had a hart attack at the hospital. I miss him so much, I can't believe it's true. I hope I get soon well. I want to have a normal life once again, and I want to feel good again, when school starts.
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replied August 2nd, 2009
It seems that you are feeling some pretty overwhelming and terrifying symptoms. You may want to see a physician to rule out any medical causes for your symptoms. You mentioned that you feel like a hundred voices are talking loudly in your head- this is something important to share with your doctor. You can call your primary care doctor immediately and describe your symptoms or go to your emergency room. It is not necessary for you to be under this stress without professional help.


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replied August 3rd, 2009
Hello. Thank you for your reply.
About the hundred voices. I only had them a couple of times, when I'm in a very crowded place. I hear sounds louder than usual, so that's the cause I hear the voices from the people louder than usual. I also read a book about "Recovery From Depersonalization and Renationalisation". I now know that these symptoms are just a way the body protecting me from all those thoughts and worries about my feelings. And also I learned that it's just temporary, and I really feel better after reading this. It makes me feel, don't know how to express myself, more happier. I've been taking this serious, but this only tries to protect me. I also was at a psychologist a month ago, and she sad everything is fine. My doctor, which found out that I have nerve inflammation, also told me that those were caused by stress and the past tragedy. I would like to do something to relief the stress, to relax somehow, and to fall asleep earlier to sleep more, so the mind can be rested well. I also found out that watching comedy movies, chatting with people and talking about jokes really makes me smile and laugh. I feel great in those moments. Thanks again. And I hope I get well soon.
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replied August 7th, 2009
I also got some chest pains and headaches, not always, but it's frequent in every day. And I got the feeling that I can't get enough air, Could the stress be the cause for that? Also I think that the pain could be caused by nerve inflammations, as my doctor said. I feel pain and numbness. Sometimes I can't eat well, feeling like throwing up when eating, or I fill like I'm full. And I also noted that my stomach doesn't functions as it should. Lately I feel more tired and don't have the energy to stand on my foot. My legs and body shakes when I stand up (not much, but I can feel it). I would like to do some exercise or find a method to relief the stress. The chest pain isn't something I should be concerned, or it is?
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replied August 7th, 2009
i have same situation as you. do something physically, like, training martial arts, or doing some hard labor every day. it will help you. at first it will be hard, but you wont think about anything, cos you will be tired. you will also start to eat, and nerve inflammation...well, i don't know about that, but, this is good start. it helps me to survive
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replied August 10th, 2009
Thank you for your anwser Myst86. I will try that.
Couple of days ago I started to have some powerful headaches, like throbbing, and sharp pains. It's also feels like it's numb, but still hurts. I think the nerves cause those feelings. As I was diagnosticed with nerve imflammation, this could be the cause. These also could be caused because of less sleeping times (from 3 am to 11 pm) and staying in the same location. I don't do much exercise because of the chest pain. I think I also have gastrointestinal problems, because I feel something burning coming up my throat, feels like the stomach acid. Could the stress be the cause for the chest pain and headaches? And could some sedatives make me feel depersonalized and derealization, or still the stress is the source of the problem?
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replied August 12th, 2009
well, it sounds like stress... dont use meds, they just hide problems, not solve them
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replied August 12th, 2009
hello , last year this same thing happend to me. but it was a boyfriend that died. i felt very alone like i was in a dark pit. and then you tend to get aggravated very fast . i couldnt eat or do much like i use to. you are in that stage that you cant believe that he's really gone. you feel like you will wake up and he'll be there are you'll see him the next day. it's ok. jus be strong he's doinq way better than we are doin down here on earth ! be happy for him cuhs thats what he wud want!
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replied August 14th, 2009
richlan12, I'm sorry for your loss. I do feel like I can't believe he is gone. I have a strange feeling, like I would want to talk to him, but he is not here anymore. It's like the mind didn't get the "message" right. The strange thing was, when I was at his funeral, I didn't felt like how I feel now. I felt like I really accepted that he passed away. I did had headaches before that, but not this much and not this powerful. I start to have some strange feelings, like my throat is squeezed, and feels like it's half numb and it hurts. Also the same with the chest. Could it be pinched nerves? Or other things cause it? I did heart test, therapy, blood test 2 months ago, and everything was fine. I feel like cold things are running across my head and my chest. I really don't know what causes them.
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replied September 18th, 2010
I came across this while looking up causes for anxiety... have you ever considered that might be your problem? A lot of the symptoms are the same. I had the same problem with a sudden death in the family. My brother passed away in our families garage when I was 11 years old, but the same exact thing happened with me. It took longer but it did happen. At his funeral and after he died I didn't think of it although I did have my first anxiety attack the night after they found him dead. I didn't cry for his death I didn't even think of it but it takes time to get over the shock of it. I've talked to many people who have lost someone and it takes time to feel the worst of it. When you have an anxiety attack at least for me your heart races and your body feels tingly all over and your mind starts to feel disconnected from anything else but the frightening thoughts and your mind is racing so fast that you can't make any thing out of it like your going crazy and you can't think clear enough to keep yourself in control. I feel like I'm going to throw up and I want to cry an run away all at the same time.
I realized someone said keep yourself busy and get yourself really tired that's what I used to do. But honestly I'm telling you start running!!! For a lot of people that helps with anxiety and depression it evens out the hormones, when I do that I feel so much better for a long time. If I were you Id go find a psychologist about it. A lot of times, sadly, anxiety can be misdiagnosed. Going to a therapist can help you if it is anxiety, which is worth checking out.
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replied February 19th, 2012
My father passed away 2 months ago- and I've had so many panic and anxiety attacks that my Dr. felt giving me a lo-dose of an anti anxiety medication would help me work thru my loss of my father.
I'm a 52yo business woman and own my own business- and believe me --- i'm not shy about grieving -- but i need a litle med. help so the frightening racing thoughts and intrusive thoughts don't control my actual grieving feelings.
Yes- Go see a grief counselor -- you'll be doing yourself a huge favor - Its hard to admit you need it - but its very important !
Good luck and seriously take care of yourself during your grief. Thats what your Dad would want you to do.
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