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Friends with Ex: ; current g/f going though phone

Hello all,
I was hoping people can provide some advice with regard to being friends with an ex-girlfriend; the situation is that I have a current g/f for just under a year and a half (we live together as well). I have an ex-g/f she is a good friend and lives 400miles away but we do txt each other. We have been split up over two & half years and have never seen each other since I have no plans to any meet up as I think it’s wrong but we do txt. My current g/f has never liked that we have contact and in the early stages of our relationship she has stormed out of the room and gone to her friends when this person has txt/rung.
The other day I was asleep and left my phone in the other room at which point my g/f has gone through all my txts and found the txts to my ex (Not hidden or anything). The txts are just standard day to day stuff i.e. not asking to meet or anything of that nature the txts increased of late but only because my ex has been very ill past few mths . In one of the txts I put "love" on the end I only did this because my ex was very down over her illness and was only meant as support and reading the txt this is quite clear. She has found this and had a major fall out with me I feel that she has broken a little bit of my trust I had in her by going into my phone. I have always been 100% faithful to my g/f but I do understand her position as well I just don’t want fall out with anyone or upset/hurt them.
However on the other side my g/f has several ex-partners that she is very close friends with and even meets up with on her own and with me, I don’t mind because I trust her not to do anything and feel they are just friends now. It feels like one rule for her and one for me at this point, with my ex I really feel the txts will get less and less over time and I would never meet up. I am not saying I am right just a bit lost has how to handle this one?? I do have the feeling that some of this is based on her previous experience with her b/f’s.
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replied January 23rd, 2012
Experienced User
Well this is always tricky business, as a woman I know how she feels and I wouldn't like that either. however in a relationship there needs to be a mutually repect SHE is your girlfriend now so that should be your priority... if you are consisantly doing something that you know she is uncomfortable with it is evenually going to cause resentment and distrust... This is an issue you guys need to get out on the table... discuss boundaries and come to a compromise... not saying you should end your friendship but you guys need to meet somewhere in the middle so at the very least she knows you take her feelings seriously....regardless of how silly or unwarrented they may seem to you Smile - Good luck!
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replied January 29th, 2012
Experienced User
In my opinion, you both are doing things you should not do. You should not have any more contact with your ex. And she should not be seeing old bf's. You broke up with these people for a reason so there should be no reason why you should want a friendship. Move on. Lots of people will not agree with me but, why would you want to be friends with someone you don't date or are not married to anymore. And BTW, many of these old bf's abd gf's result in affairs later in life.
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