I hope that a few of you will take the
time to read this and maybe be able to
help me, even if in only a small way and I
would be very grateful.
I have a very close friend (in her
fifities) I have known for over 3 years
and I am quite convinced that she has
bi-polar disorder. She is on Prozac to
"take the edge off" and recently her doc
(medical, not psychologist) doubled the
dosage. She had insomnia and was overly
emotional, irritable, and at times, manic.
She has what she calls a "bio-rhythm"
problem that causes her to get terribly
foolish and have hysterical laughing jags.
These can last for up to 15 minutes and
she can absolutely NOT drive a vehicle
during these "fits." If I am with her at
the time she usually has these fits--about
3PM--(and yes, she has them at work also,
she tells me) then I make certain that I
DRIVE between 2 and 4PM.
She has not had a spell of this in a while
and I thought she was better. However,
combined with all of the other symptoms
that she is exhibiting, I am suspecting
bi-polar disorder.
Alcohol makes her act irrational and she
knows that she is not supposed to drink
while on Prozac but she still chooses to
do so. As far as I know, she is not an
alcoholic but I cannot rule that out. If
she has one drink--she is mellow--two to
three and she starts to get argumentative,
mean, and attacks me verbally harping on
any faults I have, saying I am no fun and
to lighten up, I try and get her to stop
drinking and she gets very defensive. I
have GERD (acid reflux disease) and she
starts to make fun that I cannot eat after
6PM. I also have migraines from time to
time and she makes fun of that too which
is hurtful.
The first serious episode was when, after
she gave me a pocket knife that she was no
longer using and when I could not pull
open the blade, she made fun of me and
started to laugh, her eyes wild and waved
the knife around in my face saying, "I'll
cut you (laughing) I'll cut you." I was so
afraid that I told her to stop and when
she kept it up, I left her house and later
when we spoke she blew it off, "I was just
kidding around", she told me.
The 2nd episode was just this weekend at a
festival we attended together. She
alternated from being very nice to very
mean and drank too many beers--I was sober
thank goodness--and she attacked me
verbally. Then she tried to hug me and
say she was sorry, laughing hysterically.
When I told her I was confused by her
behavior, she turned mean again and
attacked me verbally--said I was selfish
and me-me, that I am no fun, negative, and
just a bunch of nit-picky complaints. It
was all "You are wrong and I am right"
with a big ego trip. As far as I knew, I
had said nothing wrong because she often
tells me that I am a very good and giving,
kind friend. Something I said just set
her off and she snapped at me rudely. She
opened yet another beer and I told her
that I was not going to defend myself to
her and that she did not make any sense.
She went off mad after I suggested that we
just do the smart thing and go back to the
motel room and I found myself alone at a
festival where I knew no else still
there--and we were there in HER vehicle
and were staying at a motel a half hour
away--I was stranded. I looked for her
after a while and then went back to the
vehicle. Luckily, she had given me a spare
key. She carries a gun in the glove
compartment for protection and after going
back to the car, my common sense told me
to lock the compartment to avoid an
escalating situation. I remembered the
knife incident.
I was about to get my stuff out of the
vehicle and call a cab when she showed up.
I was adamant that I would drive. I did
and there was not a word between us all
the way back. Later, she was crying and
apologetic and I told her that I was very
confused by her mood swings. The next
morning she told me she still felt the
same way but she was calmer. Soon, she
acted like her old self again. We both got
home safely but I am shell-shocked and
upset over this. I have lost trust in my
friend and I am worried about her at the
same time.
I do not want to just dump my friend; I
want to help her and I think she has been
misdiagnosed and is on the wrong
medication. Her husband never talks about
it and I cannot bring it up to him. I
don't know how to convince her to get
help. I am not a doctor and cannot
diagnose her, of course, but I suspect
bi-polar disorder. I wish that it was just
a drug reaction and that she could just
stop drinking while on Prozac but I fear
it is more serious than this.
Sincerely,
Afriend2
|
antigone
Moderator
Joined: 27 Jan 2008 Posts: 965 Location: IL
Thanks: 48
Thanked:18
Posted: 04-02-08 02:12am
Taking an antidepressant when the problem
is bipolar disorder and not only
depression can cause the person to go into
manic states. Manic symptoms include
impulsive behavior, irritability, talking
rapidly, pressured speech (can't shut up),
hyper behavior, hypersexuality, risk
taking behavior, giddiness, silliness,
grandiosity (I am better than anyone at...
even experts don't know as much as I
do....) out of control behavior (buying
sprees, taking off for a road trip
unplanned and without thinking of what
responsibilities there may be, sexual
encounters, even when married),
aggression... The list goes on. Not
everyone experiences all of these
behaviors.
It sure sounds like your friend is
suffering with bipolar disorder. I am not
sure how you can approach this with her.
Perhaps a note to her doctor describing
the behaviors would help. The doctor will
not discuss her case with you but if you
volunteer information with the intent to
just let him know how she is behaving then
it may bring awareness to the situation.
Hopefully the doctor will see her behavior
himself. If you feel you can talk to your
friend and not be attacked it may be worth
trying but from what you describe she is
pretty volatile with her moods.
As antigone said, it is very likely that
your friend does have bipolar disorder.
One of the terrible things about this and
other mood disorders is that it can warp a
friendly or normal personality into an
aggressive and obnoxious one.
Bipolars may often be diagnosed as
narcissists when they are behaving in an
arrogant manic mood state, and they may
often fool medical staff into believing
they are people with a 'nasty'
personality, only to later surprise them
with a more gentle baseline or normal
personality if they are effectively
treated with mood stabilizers.
Bipolar I patients, who experience a
severe manic episode often involving
psychosis and hospitalization, tend to be
more likely to understand the necessity of
being treated properly than Bipolar II
patients who experience milder forms of
the symptoms.
Also, in this case, it may be relevant to
note the disorder tends to worsen with
age, especially for people not properly
treated.
Some doctors tend to prescribe both
antidepressants and mood stabilisers
simultaneously for bipolars.
Antidepressants need to be handled
carefully by any doctor because they have
the ability to trigger mania. The proper
dosage is often a trial and error process,
and is often adjusted in a cyclic manner
at different times of the year to
accommodate the patient's bipolar cycle.
It sounds unusual to increase
antidepressant medication for someone in a
manic-like mood state, especially if there
aren't any other mood stabilizers
involved.
Remember that you are right in being
concerned and assertive with your friend.
Also know that the hostile person you are
dealing with is different from the 'old'
friend that you knew... if your friend
responds to proper treatment and
recognizes the problem as you do, there
can be a time for forgiveness and a return
to true friendship. But also don't forget
that because your friend's judgement is
compromised it may be extremely difficult
for you or anyone else to make her
acknowledge the gravity of the problem.
If she stonewalls and becomes intractable,
it is not your fault and you have not
abandoned your friend... it is simply that
you have been caught in a near impossible
situation. Hopefully your friend can be
persuaded to recognize the problem and can
be treated effectively. I wish you the
best.
