I'll try to keep this really concise, but here's what's going on:
My friend, whom I will refer to from here on out as "Dan", has been dating a girl for the last few weeks and they are already trying to have a child. However, neither of them are working, and Dan is claiming welfare on the grounds that he is "too fat" to work. This "man", and I use that word loosely, is 21 and still lives at home with his mommy (who is also on welfare), got fired from the only job he ever had after less than a month and cares about little more than sex and video games.
And before anyone gets on my case, I have nothing against welfare...when people use it for legitimate reasons. Dan and his mother are just lazy slobs.
Dan is pretty clearly getting this girl pregnant to prove how much he loves her, but I don't think either of them realize the burden parenthood presents - Dan seems to think that life will remain perfect and chipper and that he'll still be able to spend that hard-earned welfare money entirely on himself. I told him to start reading about child care if he intends to have a kid and he just kind of rolled his eyes, claiming that he can just refer to his relatives for tips on baby care.
I gave him a little heads-up as far as what to expect for child care costs and what he'll need to buy, but he's lost in his cloud of bliss right now like most first-time parents-to-be who think babies are nothing but sunshine and rainbows. Dan is buying into that saccharine life script notion where parenthood is made to look like the most promising and ideal lifestyle - it might be if he wasn't having a kid to try and prove a point.
He's most definitely not ready to be a parent, and even if he was, I wouldn't trust him caring for a child because I know he holds a dirty little secret...I know for a fact that he sexually assaulted his step-sister many years ago when he was a young teen. And this was not a matter of "You show me yours and I'll show you mine" - he intentionally and without remorse molested his step-sister. I don't know about anyone else, but someone who does something like that caring for a baby is a little unsettling.
I don't really give a crap if he screws up his life because of his dumb mistakes, but what is concerning is that his future potential child will be affected by them too. His child will be the one to suffer when Dan is too busy surfing the internet or spending all his welfare money on new video games rather than being a parent (and I know Dan - he is glued to his video games 24/7).
Not really seeking advice...just wanted to tell my little anecdote. And if anyone has a clue-by-four I can bludgeon him with, please let me know. I take joy in knowing I'll be 300 miles away int he event Dan starts hitting people up for charity babysitting.
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