foreplay for too long?

Well overall if you feel things should progress faster during foreplay suggest it to her.
Try first of all to skip, if she complies, the part where she's going down on you. Compare if you're still aroused and if you can procede.

Overall though if this is your first partner, try to take it slow. I mean, don't force it in.
I was in the EXACT same situation as you, and after numerous efforts where hurting her upon slight entry and results ending in me losing my erection due to feeling bad, we finally tried to do it full-blown, no turning back, lube-assisted penetration.

Of course it hurt her immediatedly and the moment I saw her cringe in pain, my erection went away due to me feeling bad again.
But hours later we tried again and this time, prepared with what to do and the feeling of it, we tried it and although it hurt both of us (it was really tight for me), we were both happy we managed to do it.

Afterwards the next couple of times hurt her, but significantly less. Eventually the experience was highly succesful, and I regret nothing of it. In the end it's all about mutual trying. It's going to hurt, and you're going to feel bad, but it's definitely worth a try (if you're both up for it).

If you think foreplay holds you back, try to change your routine and try to play around for a little while and when you are ready, give it your all...get to enjoy it.. dont get so focus on rearing to push in.. give it a go when you think its already the right time...

the problem for me is i first felt as if i couldn't find the hole, and when i finally did, i did figure it and could barely fit two fingers in. So im thinking now i should keep going until i can get three in. Im not exactly sure how many times shes had sex, so i should talk to her about it, but its a tough conversation to start, because i dont want to attack her to make it seem like shes not doing things good enough, like oral and stuff. I really do like her , and just want it to work out in the end. i ultimately just think i dont feel comfortable when its actually time to have sex, as i feel very inexperienced with the vagina and such. so the best thing to do is calm down and just let it happen .

Happened to me the first time.
If she's really tight, encourage relaxation, put her in a calming mood, and definitely use lube.
It'll feel weird your first time finding her entrance, and you'll feel like either it hurts or maybe you're not in yet.
It takes time and practice, and I'm sure she'll want to talk about it too if she wants this just as much as you.