Pro-lifers have nothing to do with your situation. From what I read well you screwed your life yourself and it's nobody's fault. You decide to go crazy because of a child, you deal with problems in a unhealthy way and it's all but your fault. I have had many problems in life too but I choose to deal with them in more healthy way. Life is what you make it. YOU choose the path.

Umm actually if you read it my dear all my problems, depression, health problems orginated in the pregnancy....

So please dont tell me how I felt, I will tell you I regret being pregnant and giving birth do you like that>?

Its true, some people do they just wont admit it, cause people like you tell them its wrong to feel that way.....

Just so you know the problems could have been recitified earlier if proper action was taken and nightangel next time you feel, like throwing you thought in my throat please go fly a kite.


Pregnancies can ruin somepeople ex

Because of my depression, I didnt want to go to work, I didnt want to leave the house and if I did, I would have severe anxiety attacks. I was crying all the time as well, my mental health before that WAS QUITE fine.

Now because the hubby is pro-life only when its a boy, somehow his ideals work, he thinks who cares your having it whether you like it or not and if I want to give it up for adoption, well I need his signature..

THATS RIGHT, IF YOU KNOW THE FATHER/ARE WITH HIM YOU NEED HIS SIGNATURE FOR ADOPTION....

I can't work therefore I cant get daycare, I need money to pay these people, I hope you know that.

Education, well I need a job and someone to watch the kids 24 hours...

If you are a single mother with no help, its welfare and school or you can just live on welfare....

OPEN YOUR EYES PLEASE..

what an insensitive thing to say, why would anybody "decide" to "go crazy".

I see what you are saying diamondz, and I am sorry you felt forced to carry out a pregnancy that wasn't ideal. Many people handle things in their own way, and we all learn from our mistakes, there is no cut and dry way to handle things, and you did the best you could on your own where others couldn't or wouldn't help. I also understand why your situation would make you pro-choice as opposed to pro-life; you know what it is like to not feel like you can make your own choice. I'm glad you are somewhat better and I truly hope that you get to where you want to be in life.

kind regards,
Amino

Btw Im just sharing how I felt in that part of my life, I dont feel that way right now, things are a little different in a positive way.

N/a I didnt choose to be depressed its a chemical imbalance in my brain and it happens from pregnancy if you are or just gave birth, read up. My issue was they wouldn't give me medication when I knew I was depressed.

Depression ruins live, the depression was partly hormonal and post from my other one, but the pregnancy made the mild down worse than what it was.

Your post is so ignorant it's practically a joke. Nobody CHOOSES to have depression. You'd tell a person dying from cancer that it's their own fault.

Diamondsz, thank-you for telling your story. It is rare to hear about experiences like yours, and more people need to understand the ramifications of forced pregnancy.

since pro-lifers seem to think unwanted pregnancies should be carried regardless of the womans feelings I would say this experience is very valid in showing the effects an unwanted yet gestated pregnancy can have (and also the fact diamondz visited pro-life based centres, thought you guys were all about continuing the pregnancy?)


no-one decides to suffer health problems, mental or otherwise.
I noted in another post you also don't worry about PND - I sincerely hope you do not suffer this btw - but I guess that's because you'll choose not to get PPD, right?!

Diamondz - thank you for sharing this

I often think I'm not cut out for motherhood either diamond so I sympathise with you when you say that. I don't like the demands it makes of me and I can't stand silly, noisy games. My pregnancy was planned but I didn't bond with my son straight away and I suffered with post natal depression which has not gone away yet and my son is three and a half. I don't want any more children, in fact the idea of going through it all again terrifies me. I think the fact I have a supportive husband and a loving family is what has got me through. I love my son with all of my heart and I do not regret having him but by God, it's so much harder than I ever thought it would be.

At the end of the day, your children need a stable and happy life and if you don't feel you are able to give that to them (through absolutely no fault of your own) then you have done the right thing by stepping away.

I hope things get better for you soon.

Was your first child wanted? Did you know you did not want another child? If so, did you try to prevent this from happening? Did you know your husband was pro-life before you married him? Did you guys ever discuss children and how many you would like to have before getting married?

What happened to you was unfortunate. But, pro-lifers aren't actually to blame. Don't turn this sad situation into a way to bash pro-lifers. I know you're angry, but focus more on YOUR HUSBAND.

He wasn't pro-life, he only went complete extreme when he found out it was a boy, now I was on birth control but I still got preggo and my doctor didn't believe me when I told him.

Pro-lifers are partially to blame, because when I really needed help in that point of my life, they told me I was wrong for doing what I did and for the feelings I had. I got pregnant with my first because it was planned on the circumstances that he did his half of taking care of her. Like jules said she actually stated it well, it took me almost a year if not more just to bond with my daughter but I conceived when she was 9 months. I had only wanted one but when I asked to have my tubes tied I was refused because I was 20, even after him I had asked again (3 times) and was refused again.

I am not angry, Im just stating how I felt, like I said I dont feel like that anymore........


Anyway, what I should have wrote, is that pro-life scream for people to keep their pregnancy but never want to assist people, its like you expect a car to be made without anyone to put it together. I really explain things the wrong way but I will use another analogy, you expect major profits in a company but dont have enough people to keep up with it.

Let me ask a better question, why should I not abort if I had another kid?

My reasoning on this, why put a kid into adoption, when the adoption needs can nearly be met as they are right now>?

Basically with no care you want a kid brought in this world whether they have parents or not, is that not selfish and stupid?

I guess this is where I am going

What I forgot to add

Some people are coerced into abortion and others are coerced into pregnancy and the rates people are coerced ino pregnancy are alot higher than we think.

It could be as simple as telling them, they are supposed to take responsibility, they are wrong for feeling the way they do or even by threats, financial, emotional or physical (ex I will kick you out.)

A point that is being missed is that diamondsz was giving us a glimpse into the life of a woman who was coerced and manipulated into giving birth, which was not a choice of her own free will.

Prolife advocates need to pay heed to her story as there would be many more if the prolife morality was written into law.

Thank you so much for the honesty, Im not stepping out of their lives, Im just going back to college so I will be away temporarily, im just explaining how I felt in that part of my life.

Like you I had an extremely hard time, bonding, I still dont have much patience but I dont hate them although they do drive me nuts. Their father is getting posted to another city and they dont have a college there, so Im staying here to do my schooling but will drop by. Alot of people dont understand how it affects you, some people can deal with, some cant but still deal with but I still dont think it is a one sided issue.

Not many people would be able to say what you have, I respect you that much more because there is alot of woman who are made to feel bad for that!! Good luck Jules



Jules, just one small comment you had empathy for me, not sympathy. Sympathy is really bad it is having pity for someone, or feeling bad/condescending for them. Empathy is when you try to understand the other person,put yourself into another persons shoes or even base it off off personal experience. Hope this doesnt offend you.

Diamondsz, something just seems off about your story. I can't figure out if you actually went into your marriage wanting children, or that you actually never wanted any but your husband believed you did. Or you thought you did but realized you didn't when you had your daughter?

Also, when you got the ultrasound of your second child, did you want to know the sex? Did they just outright tell you without you asking? Did you actually ask what the gender was? Did you know your husband really wanted a son?

A lot of things seem to be left out.

I still don't see what this has to do with pro-lifers. There seemed to be a lack of comminication in your relationship and you weren't allowed to have your tubes tied which has nothing to do with the abortion debate. You should have got that procedure if you wanted it and nothing like this would have occured. Still, if your husband knew how you felt in all this (even with your daughter), then HE is the problem. Not pro-lifers. If pro-lifers were wiped from this earth, your husband STILL would have done this. Your husband wanted a son badly and didn't care about your feelings. He could have been pro-choice (or had no opinion in the abortion debate) and still have done this.

Also, this quote you made in another forum just made things more confusing: "Now my Son was unplanned but I had more with him and enjoyed the pregnancy more than I did with her, he came out and I am still very attached to him as he is with me."

Do you have more than one son? I thought you hated the pregnancy with your son?

I enjoyed the pregnancy with my daughter, didnt enjoy the birth, with my son I didnt enjoy the pregnancy but the birth was so much easier. I still had a harder time bonding with both of them.

Me and him had talked about having a kid and then I said I had wanted to wait and see if I had more, I was on birth contol but like you probably read, antibiotics lessened the effect and therefore I got pregnant without my knowledge. I was originally told Cam was a girl, when it came to sex and there was talk with my GP about medically terminating because of defects(although there ws none.)

Even if it wasn't him, it could have been someone else pushing me into the pregnancy, anyone can coerce and by making someone feel bad for what they feel is ridicoulous. I went to birthright, its centre down here that offers aid, counselling to pregnant woman, when I went, I met a really nice woman, who told me I was wrong for thinking about ending the pregnancy. Although we knew I was depressed and I had informed them I needed something because no one would give me meds for depression. Our conversations starting becoming less of me talking and more of her putting me down and thats when I stopped attenting. I went back to my GP and asked if he could find me an outside counselling group(if you get a request from a doctor, there is usually no charge.)

I made calls around and it seemed that there were no doors for me, I went to a pro-choice centre, it was nice but really out of my way and I didnt have my drivers licence then. So although the help was available, it was out of my way but I did find outside help although I did have to pay.

The point being is when I needed help, not only with my emotions, my beliefs or even how I despised the pregnancy, Birthright continually made me feel down about my emotions, it was almost like having those thoughts were wrong (about trying to end the pregnancy.

I havent gone into all the details but I tried throwing myself down the stairs, I tried over drinking and popping pills because that is how bad I didn't want it, now whether it was partially the depression, I really dont know.

Lack of communication, yes because I have a harder time expressing myself in English than I do in my mother tongue.

I did get pregnant again not too long after my son, me and hubby split up, I went and threw myself into someone elses arms(stupid I know) and well I came back. I told him I was pregnant ( he was seeing someone else) but he wanted it. I ended up loosing it and we went back down the same road. I have just decided Im really fertile lol!!

Anyway, my point is, some of you want to tell people you care for a baby to be but there was no care, in any way shape or form for my mental health. Planned parenthood, offered help but like I said it was really hard to get there and I was burning my bridges but I did find someone to help who was neutral.

So if I came to you tommorrow and told you I had thoughts of abortion in my mind, how would you react? Would you give a crap how I feel?

Some of you are incapable of empathy and birch made a really good point.

I think, I could be wrong, this is what may be missing from some people's understanding.

This is not a case of a pro-choice woman not wanting to go through with a pregnancy. It isn't that she didn't want children when she got married.

It's that pregnancy CAUSES MAJOR DEPRESSION in some people, just like it can cause diabetes and high blood pressure, and other things. Diamondsz got depression from her pregnancy, and it didn't just go away, it was exacerbated by ANOTHER pregnancy.

The conflict with her husbnad was ot a clash of views or ideologies, she pro-choice, or he pro-life. It had NOTHING to do with that. It had everything to do with Diamondsz developing a SERIOUS medical condition that her husband REFUSED to allow her to have treated.

It's exactly the same thing if she developed pre-eclampsia, and he wouldn't allow her to abort because it was a boy. He would force her to risk her life for the pregnancy, the fetus was more important than his wife.

You have to understand what depression feels like to really get this story. I understand and I get it.

Check out some of these to read more...

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&cli ent=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:of ficial&hs=pwH&q=danger of major de pression untreated during pregnancy&st art=10&sa=N

You STILL said that you enjoyed the pregnancy with your son more than you did with your daughter. But, now you said you hated the pregnancy with your son. Which is it? You said you bonded right away with your son, but not with your daughter. Then you said you had a hard time bonding with BOTH children. Which is it?

Also, I read somewhere that you drank in MODERATION with BOTH pregnancies, but then you keep saying you drank heavily with your son. Which is it?

Try to keep your stories straight please. I do not believe that your pregnancies were ever unwanted. There are other ways to make a point.

Except it seems that she may not have actually been depressed because of the contradictions in her story.

Since you are pulling up archives, go through mine for placenta previa and the one I started back in 05/06

Its hard to explain, I didnt want to be pregnant, like I started this post yes, that was probably what I wrote reversed lol but I also am saying I am revealing how I felt. DO NOT Call me liar.........

I used to tell people what they wanted to hear to keep them off my back, if you read some of my drinking posts we had people getting in my face go back to 2006.
So I had problems, people would get in my face, and well made me feel like a EFFIN horrible person, now I just don't care, thats the difference.




I did, although I had a slightly easier time with it, as I went back to work when he was two months.



Stop putting words in my mouth.........

IM SO SICK of people telling me how to feel or how to talk

Im talking about how pregnancy cn be the worst thing in the world, what can you not understand about that? Not everyone is jumping for joy and I wont let you tell me it is!!!


Please name one woman who actually enjoys pregnancy besides babys kicking? PLEASE SHARE