Hi all.. I have been dating this really great guy for a while and we are getting to the point where we want to have sex. We've done everything else except that, but we are waiting until I get on birth control before we go all the way. The other day, he was trying to get me used to the feeling on his penis inside me and he was barely inside me and it hurt!! He's fingered me before and I've orgasmed off of that, but he was only able to get the head of his penis inside me. So my questions are:
-how can we make the first time more comfortable for me? I think I'm gonna try being on top to control everything and allow me time to get used to his size.
-will it continue to hurt as he enters all the way inside me? I really don't like to be uncomfortable, and am worried about this.
We have lots of lube and will continue to use condoms...I'm just nervous about it. I really want it, but don't want the pain
Thanks for any help or words of advice you can give me!
By the way you phrased most of this, you sound young. Depending on how young you are, you may not be physically ready for sex, that may be one reason why it hurts.
This may sound a little dumb, but make sure that you are using the right hole.
Sex hurts almost everyone the first time, or the first couple of times, but then it starts to feel good. The intitial getting it in is a little difficult for some people, after he gets completely inside you it should definetly hurt less. My advice would be to just take it slow and gently the first couple times and that should make it alot more comfortable.
Also, if something doesn't feel good, don't be afraid to let your partner know, he doesn't want to hurt you, but he doesn't know what you feel. You can also use your hands to help direct him.
For me, sex only ever hurts if I don't use enough lube on the penis AND my vagina. It also only hurts on the very outside - unless he hits my cervix! But that's a different story. It should not hurt all the way inside.
Sex hurts the first time... because people do it wrong!!! Sex SHOULDN'T hurt, not even the first time. Use a ton of lube, (lay down some towels!) become as relaxed as possible and as aroused as possible from fore-play. Even orgasm once!! All of this will loosen your vaginal entrance and lubricate the entire area, allowing for painless entry.
I've had entry hurt and I've had entry feel absolutely seamless. It's all about YOU being loose and ready, and all about the penis having enough lube on it!!
For me I did everythinig I could to make sure it didn't hurt, but I still had kind of a rough time.
You need to try and relax! My problem was I would get really tense before he would enter because I kept thinking it was going to hurt-- especially the first time. Make sure you just take a deep breath and relax your muscles and it shouldn't hurt, especially if you use a lot of lube.
I was way too into it to worry about it hurting. Aside from that, my roommate was asleep across the room (dorm) and (kinky part here) his younger brother was also visiting and asleep on the floor... So yeah. That was an extremely quiet first time!! I don't know; it just felt like the right moment. I'd considered it before about two months before, and it was just too awkward and I wasn't ready, so we didn't even get out the condoms. On "The Night" however, I whispered "Condom?" and he said "If you want to..." so we did! O.o XD
I KNOW. Weird first-time story!
Let me add that his "younger" brother was still like, 22 years old!!! I was... 20? I think. I just realised it sounded like I had sex with a child in the room <_<
The reason you can only get the head of his penis inside is probably because you haven't let him break your hymen yet. It probably WILL hit the first time, but very, very briefly, and in a few thrusts it should start to feel good. The most important part is to be relaxed--if you are nervous you will tighten up and just hurt yourself. If you relax and he gets you excited enough (with the assistance of lube), your first time should be pleasurable, save for the first 7 seconds or so. It will not be the worst pain you have ever felt in your life. I broke my nose and that hurt more than the first time having sex.
Many girls break their hymens inserting tampons, riding horses or during strenuous activities and don't feel pain then. The ONLY main reason for pain during first-time sex is doing it wrong - the only other cause in relation to penetration is an unusually thick hymen.
My first time wasn't great. The pain only lasted about a minute, but the rest was just not pleasureable. The BEST thing I can say is relax the muscles down there. Its a lot worse if they're tense. And use lube.