first love- i still love her and i go through phases...

My girlfriend of 12 months left me, over the phone. We were having problems for the last few months but we agreed that it was because of the distance (we live almost 200 miles aways)... we usually saw each other two times a months but we were waiting till we could both be in the same city in a few months from now. When she left me I didn't quite believe it, i hadn't accepted it was possible that she didn't love me anymore and it took such a longer time to make sense of it all. it got worse when she would randomly text me or ring me which gave me hope. one morning a friend showed me a link to something she had posted on the internet saying that she has met someone new etc... for the past two months i have had days where i could't eat, anxiety, and every night i've only fallen asleep when my body finally gives up and passes out - which is usually around 6/7am. i also tried to commit suicide twice since the break-up. one time was when she arrange to meet me then stood me up last minute. i never realised how much love could affect someone. i don't see myself or want anyone else. and although she treated me like crap (cheated on me once) i still love her and i go through phases of not wanting to live without her. help!