Sexual Health - Women Forum - First and second time sex pain

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Q: First and second time sex pain

asked by: BeautifullyBroken016 on July 17th, 2008

New User

I just recently lost my virginity and the first time hurt a lot. It was almost unbearable so I told him to stop. Then we did it again that same day and I just took the pain. He was kinda going a little hard and he said I was really tight. Plus I kept tightening up on him because it hurt me so bad. Then the next day we had sex again and it felt the same, a little bit better but basically the same pain.
It's weird because I never masturbate with my fingers because when I do when I get to a certain point, it hurts. I was sore for about a day after the second time we had sex. It's like it hurt constantly when he was doing that and I'm worried. I think I might have vaginismus but I also dont think I have it because this is just my 2nd time having sex and I never used tampons and things like that before. I'm really worried that it is going to hurt forever when I have sex. The point is not that it hurts when I have sex it's just that it still hurts and the pain doesnt just wear off or stop when we're having sex, it's really constant. I didnt bleed the first time we had sex but the second time I bled just a little, not even really noticable though.
Can somebody please tell me what is wrong

Replies(6)

Maddie34

replied on July 17th, 2008

Moderator

Relax

When you expect pain, you get pain. When you clench your muscle (like you're holding pee) then anything thats going in is going to hurt because its going against the muscles. Did you use lube? Did you do enough foreplay beforehand?

Try masturbating on your own by inserting your finger(s). Use lots of lube and just practice relaxing your muscles while your fingers are inside. Once you can do that then explore what feels good.

Next time your guy enters you, just take a minute with zero movement, just so you can get used to the feel of him being there and relax. If you can't relax, then stop-- do not for any reason just sit through painful sex.

If none of this works, then speak with a doctor. Since you're now having sex its a good time for a pelvic exam anyways.

Users who thank Maddie34 for this post: ChikaKiiMadoka

BeautifullyBroken016

replied on July 17th, 2008

New User

Maddie34 wrote:

We didnt use lube and we didnt have any foreplay before. When I do insert my own fingers it hurts that way too for some reason. It's just like when I reach a certain point, which isnt very far at all it just hurts a lot it kinda stings.

Maddie34

replied on July 17th, 2008

Moderator

No lube or foreplay? :shocked:

That would be painful for anyone! Ouchies!
When you insert your own fingers, you need lube as well.

You need to have foreplay and you need lube during sex. If you're not aroused the your vagina will feel tight and dry and that will cause pain.

Georgia59

replied on July 17th, 2008

Especially eHealthy

Never put anything dry inside of your vagina!! Ouch!!

Helpallthetime

replied on August 1st, 2009

New User

i feel exactly the same i mean the first time ouch the second time i did it in the same day i bleed but when i use my fingers i dnt feel anything...and when he did it,it just hurted it didnt feel good half way through or nothing it just hurted i mean my friends tell me all the time it feels good half way through but it didnt and im kinda worried help please...

tasha9229

replied on November 6th, 2009

New User

i had my first sex yesterday and the pain was like pressure inside me thn he put me on my hands n knees and it felt alot better

we did foreplay(lickout,handjob,fingering)

i bled aswell and it wasn't alot
the pain wears off like half way through n feels nice.

hope i helped lol xx

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