I really need some strong advice from anyone who can help, please. I have no other resources.

I need to find out what is wrong and why I have such a hard time trying to find a girlfriend. Something is obviously wrong because I am 28 and have never had a girlfriend nor have I ever been in a relationship. The last time that I had ask a girl out was back in high school (1997) and well she said "NO" and I haven't asked another woman out since. I generally don't seek advice from anyone unless it's absolutely necessary, however, this has effected me greatly and consumes my life; it's all I think about.

My sister recently got engaged and my brother recently had two beautiful babies; I am very happy for them both and wish them much happiness, but it makes me greatly depressed to think about it because I want that life, the family life.

I get more depressed every day, my mood changes often, and I can't even focus on daily activities anymore. It has effected me so much that I had to drop out of school three times. I change jobs frequently and move to different cities to try and start over, but it never works. My current situation sucks right now because I was forced to stay with my parents when my financial problems began due to losing my job. I had to sell virtually everything I owned to pay some delinquent bills. I don't know any woman that would want to date a guy who lives at his parents house; trust me I would rather be homeless then live there, but I have a dog to care for. Don't get me wrong, I greatly appreciate my parents help, but it drives me crazy and makes me more depressed staying there.

This situation creates a series of problems for me. I don't really enjoy doing anything anymore, I sleep 10-12 hours a day, sometimes more because when I'm asleep I don't have to worry about my problems. I don't like playing music anymore and put it on the back burner for a while, maybe forever. I don't enjoy any of my past hobbies and my health is deteriorating. The only thing that isn't effected is my job, at least there people talk to me. I never would have thought that not have a girlfriend would have this kind of effect on someone.

I need advice on so many things about dating. I couldn't tell you if a woman was flirting with me or find subtle hints, hell, I don't even know how to flirt. Women don't approach me because I look bored and uninterested, I have no confidence, I'm certainly not the most intelligent person nor do I have the best of looks. I can't really offer much but to be nice and let's face it, women do not want the "nice guy". Sure, they are great friends, but not the type that could be dateable, like the saying goes "nice guys finish last".

It makes it even harder for me to go out and find a date because I don't even know what kind of woman I am attracted too, not to mention the fact that I am very quiet and shy. I am even a stranger to being intimate with a woman, it's been over 2 years. That was a one night stand and I don't want that. If that is all I have to look forward to then I would rather be alone. I have read so many different types of articles, books, etc. about dating, but I am still lost.


I get very bad anxiety when a woman approaches me, if they approach at all. I just don't understand what to do anymore. I have always used the excuse that I am too busy with work and school to date, but the truth of the matter is that it makes me feel very uncomfortable to talk to a woman. I generally don't have anything to say and when someone does talk to me and asks questions, I usually give a short answer and continue to go about my business, it's just natural for me to do that.

I have tried to forget about it, but it never happens; I was on the verge of being an alcoholic and was a habitual drug user a few years ago; I have been clean for 1 year, but afraid that I may slip back into some bad habits if I can't sort this mess out. I also used to be a spiritual person, but I have seen where that got me... nowhere, so I stopped believing. So please, any help is greatly appreciated.