About 6 months ago I reunited with my ex after a 2 year separation (we have been together for about 10 years total). He is also the father of my 4 year old. We separated because there was physical abuse, yelling, screaming, financial instability, job instability, and neglect (he was never around to help out at all). When we were separated we still stayed in contact, and we were on good terms, regardless of the already rocky past. We decided to try it again about 6 months ago however I said that if things were the same as before we separated then it wouldn't work out.
Well things have been the same. The abuse has gotten worse. I have gotten a black eye, been kicked, holes punched in the walls, mirrors broken, called the b word, c word, pushed, boxes have been thrown at me. When he is angry, he has told me he will knock my face in and bury me. As well, he is never home. He spends 90% of his off time at his friends, therefore does not help out. When questioned, he always freaks out completely. Neighbours have called the police. Worse part, my son has witnessed some of this. We go through the cycle, everything is good, he is nice and forgiving, promises to get his act together, for some reason I believe him then it starts all over again.
Now I am 10 weeks pregnant with my second child. He is never around, always yelling, with holding money from me for essentials such as rent. I have never felt so alone. I am now in the situation where I can't afford this child on my own and dealing with the fact that I am 39 years olf and will probably never have the chance again to have another child. There are so many factors which I can't wrap my head around. I know that I have to leave but am still feeling stuck and scared.
Any words of advice for a completely dysfunctional situation?
I hope you are safe and sound.
I have just escaped the clutches of an abusive marriage.
It took a lot to try to leave him and I can only tell you that it is very difficult. I had to get my family to help me as I was so isolated and alone.
But I am so relieved that I have left. Now I am feeling quite lost and lonely and came across this forum.
Please remember you are not as alone as you think you are.