Okay, so I'm new here, and I just need to get this off my chest.
My fiance and I have been together for nearly 3 years. When we first started our relationship he was heavily in to smoking, drinking, and illegal substances. I told him I don't date guys that smoke (I'm allergic to tobacco) and do drugs. The day he met me he quit smoking and all chemicals, and he hasn't done any since. Also when we first started dating he and I got in to a fight when he was drunk on Whiskey and he shoved me in to the corner of a building, and when I was walking away I was leaning forward because I was ragging and cramping and he accidently pushed me forward while he tried to grab my jacket. I wasn't hurt badly, but his behaviour shocked me so I went home and didn't talk to him for a few days and then we sat down and he promised he'd never drink Whiskey again, and he hasn't.
Nearly 3 years went by and our relationship has been awesome. He treats me amazing. He treats my sisters and parents with respect all the time. He's generous and caring and is a firm believer in "if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all". I love him very much. He asked me to marry him about 9 months ago and we have 3 months until the wedding.
Last month he and I got in to a fight over our parents activity in planning the wedding, and this conversation was when he was on his way home from drinking at the bar. Before he got home, I was so upset I went to bed - not to sleep, just to lay down, and my fiance thought that I was disrespecting him so he grabbed my arm and twisted it until I turned to face him. He kept gripping my arm until he was done saying what he wanted to say and then apologized for hurting me. I forgave him and we talked some more before going to bed.
Then a week ago was our Jack & Jill and we both got sloshed. He was drunk on tequila and me on vodka. The Jack & Jill itself was awesome, the after party sucked because there was this guy who kept telling me it was stupid to get married and have kids... which are two things I really want to do. When we got home, my fiance freaked out because I didn't want to accept a gift from one of his friends because it was inconsiderate. He was screaming at me to "grow up" and "stop acting like a baby". He grabbed me by the arms and threw me on the couch before picking me up and pushing me to the ground (thankfully he had thrown a loaf of bread on the ground so when I fell I didn't get a bruise, but my hip did hurt for four days), he then felt bad for hurting me so he started hitting himself saying how I should break up with him, but what really scared me was when he pulled out a knife and tried to stab himself in the throat... I managed to get the knife away but not before he cut himself. He grabbed me by throat with his bloody hand, backed off, and punched a hole through the wall. Our landlord came in then and told us to calm down, and we did. After the landlord left my fiance broke down and cried for an hour.
The next couple of days I was scared of him. I was scared he might hurt me, I was scared he might hurt himself... and now I'm scared that one of his friends is going to hurt my fiance. I told one of my fiance's friends what had happened just to get it off my chest and now he won't come over when my fiance's here and won't talk to him anymore... and I told my fiance I told his friend because he thought I was cheating on him....
my fiance and I did sit down and talk about what happened and he promised never to drink hard liquor again, hurt me or himself... I think I trust him... but I don't know. He told me he wants to talk to someone about this, and I agree... I love him very much, and in 3 months time I want to marry him... is it a smart thing to do?
how can I fix the rift I caused between him and his friend?