I'm not really sure where to start but well, for a while I've been feeling very lonely. I'm 28 and have never been in a serious relationship with anyone. I used to go out on dates but that always ended nowhere. It usually was just one date and then the one I was dating it just didn't want to go for a second one. At first it's no problem, I thought: it's usual, you can't find the person you want to be with just like that but as the years came it just got more difficult for me. And no, I'm not dating like my life depends on it, I just take it as it comes, but as I just said: after one date there's nothing more to come. Even so with people I meet at parties. They sometimes seem interested, we're having a nice chat, afterwards we add each other on Facebook, continue to talk a bit but then it stays there. I try to get them to agree to go out with me but that just gets ignored. Or they say: well, if you'll go to that concert, I'll also be there, maybe we will see each other over there. As if that's going to happen, with all those people and no way of contacting each other.
I just don't know what the problem is. I guess people like me, because it's not really a problem for me to make friends and people like being around me. But when it comes to relationships it just seems like no one finds me boyfriend-material.
Maybe there will be some people who say that you get what you give, but then I'm not sure how much more love I'm having to give. I really try to be there for the people I care about, but for once I would just like to have someone to be there just for me. Someone I can hold in my arms. Lacking a person like that just makes me depressed, I just seem to go around in life with no real purpose...
I know what your feeling, I'm kinda in the same boat. Was in a serious relationship a couple of years ago and had a few flings here and there but nothing serious. It's now been around 8 months since I went out with someone, but I've actually had a few opportunities that I've turned down.
The only advice I could give to you is to keep trying, don't let it get you down (i know this is sometimes much harder than it seems), and just try to keep positive. A positive outlook and a healthy glass-half-full attitude breeds positive repercussions. Good things will happen!
Another way of looking at it is this - for every failed relationship, and every 1st date that didn't have a 2nd to follow, means that you are one step closer to finding someone you will connect with and form an amazing relationship with.
I know it may sound PG and a little girly, but I think it makes for a healthier mind.
It's sad for you too that you know what I'm feeling, but at the same time it is kind of comforting.
I really do appreciate the advise you gave, but well, as you know, sometimes it's just so hard. And there are times that I ask myself why I'm still doing it. I know that it is ridiculous, if you don't try you will never succeed. But still. From time to time it just doesn't seem worth all the trouble, headache and heartache.
And another problem is that the people around me just don't seem to get that it's difficult for me. They just keep saying things like: "come on, surely you will find someone" or "surely it isn't *that* bad" but they never seem to really know how it must be like. That's also quite frustrating; maybe you had the same experience?
Oh and I really do try to keep positive, but well, sometimes when you're feeling down and there's no-one who really understands you things only get worse. At this moment it also feels like I'm in this downwards spiral and I have trouble getting out. Surely, I still do fun things with friends and I really enjoy doing that. But when I get back home and I'm all alone these feelings start coming back...
It's just that it keeps getting more difficult to keep that glass-half-full attitude that I've always had my whole life. Maybe it's also because of a lack of self-confidence. I'm not sure. Probably that's also a part of it...
And maybe you're right, maybe it all is one step closer to find someone amazing. But what's it all worth if I continue like this and finally meet someone when I'm like 86 OK, I know, that's over-dramatic. But it's really a big fear of me to end up all alone.
Anyway, I'm still grateful for you response, thanks a lot and I will really keep it in mind. Like I said: it's good to know that I'm not alone.