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I wasn't a pretty child. I've been a little overweight, always reading, very mature, kept to myself most of the time. Now, after years of proper nutrition, excercises and style lessons, I look much better than an average person. I'm often described as "really pretty", sometimes even "beautiful".
Still, deep inside I feel like that ugly girl, almost invisible while standing next to her pretty girlfriends.
I've never had a boyfriend or been on a date. I've never even kissed.
Sometimes I feel really bad, when surounded by couples. The worst is that I actually can see that they're not always all that pretty, yet they've managed to find a mate and I haven't.
Once in a while I come upon an interesting man that shows some interest in me but I always seem to spoil that chance by feeling insecure and telling myself that nothing can happen between us because of the way I look and that there's no chance that a man like that (I always go for the ambitious, career-driven, well-mannered types) would allow himself to be seen public or connected in any way with a woman like me.
I don't suffer from low self-esteem, I'm a successful professional, I'm certain that my sense of style is flawless and my IQ is exceptional. I just feel very unattractive when it comes to this particular field.
I'm also very tired of feeling worse because of my inability to engage in relationships with men.
The new make-up or clothes isn't a solution because I've already have those.
Any advice on how to deal with this?
Still, deep inside I feel like that ugly girl, almost invisible while standing next to her pretty girlfriends.
I've never had a boyfriend or been on a date. I've never even kissed.
Sometimes I feel really bad, when surounded by couples. The worst is that I actually can see that they're not always all that pretty, yet they've managed to find a mate and I haven't.
Once in a while I come upon an interesting man that shows some interest in me but I always seem to spoil that chance by feeling insecure and telling myself that nothing can happen between us because of the way I look and that there's no chance that a man like that (I always go for the ambitious, career-driven, well-mannered types) would allow himself to be seen public or connected in any way with a woman like me.
I don't suffer from low self-esteem, I'm a successful professional, I'm certain that my sense of style is flawless and my IQ is exceptional. I just feel very unattractive when it comes to this particular field.
I'm also very tired of feeling worse because of my inability to engage in relationships with men.
The new make-up or clothes isn't a solution because I've already have those.
Any advice on how to deal with this?
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First Helper ms_creativity
ms_creativity
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Honey, don't sell yourself short...It was after high school that I lost 40 pounds...Like you, life told me how great I looked...It grew as I gained confidence in myself...Soon the sky was the limit...My best advice is free your mind of the other person inside you.....Unlock the cell that hold the unattractive woman and set her free...Be happy...Show it with the gleam in your eye and the "come on world, here I am attitude"...
I could go on and on about this story of my life and how you can be beat down by your own family thinking you are an "ugly ducking"... It's up to you to believe in yourself and be all that you can be......
I send you all my love for a happy life....May you find what I have found....Take care...
Caroline
I could go on and on about this story of my life and how you can be beat down by your own family thinking you are an "ugly ducking"... It's up to you to believe in yourself and be all that you can be......
I send you all my love for a happy life....May you find what I have found....Take care...
Caroline
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Users who thank CarolineEF for this post:
YoungButterfly4
sweety, don't get depressed. concentrate on your studies. Still there is lots of time for you to date and you will get the perfect man not by looks but by heart.
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Every person is attractive...It is believing in themself that counts...I wrote my above post nearly three years ago and since then I have grown in leaps and bounds...For me the sky is the limit....I am both ageless and knowledge of life continues to fill my mind...Honey, it is within you that counts...The rest will shine....My best to you....
Caroline
Caroline
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Look in The Bible!! U are a daughter of the Most High!! God loves you just the way u are!! When I start feeling bad, that's what lifts me up every single time!! I also struggle after a marriage & being w the same man for 22 years. He cheated and we divorced. I know God has a MUCH BETTER LIFE LINED UP FOR ME. I just need to be patient; it's in HIS TIME , NOT MINE:/ I hope this helps;)
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No, having someone post an ad for their company wasn't the least bit helpful!
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Sam thing happened to me a few days ago...frustrating when you find out it wasn't what you were looking for.
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For sure, it's very selfish of them.
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NO one can help you but yourself, so be confident and keep simling.
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Attrative feeling
Hi
This is Abhis from Bhopal MP Well I Hope personally thinks to be a more attractive you should change according to modern life such us should try fashionable dresses which is desired for ur body appearance.
And one more thinks u have good body language [ gestures, postures & eye contact with audience ]
Thanks
This is Abhis from Bhopal MP Well I Hope personally thinks to be a more attractive you should change according to modern life such us should try fashionable dresses which is desired for ur body appearance.
And one more thinks u have good body language [ gestures, postures & eye contact with audience ]
Thanks
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I too was and still sometimes am in the same boat. I am 21 right now, and growing up I was the rebel when it came to fashion. I wore a lot of black, dyed my hair wild colors and listened to loud music while the "princesses" had daddy's money to spend on expensive things that I wouldn't personally buy if it was on sale. I was the "cool" girl, the ferocious friend, but never considered beautiful. I had curvy hips though I was skinny and a nice round butt. At the time, girls my age picked on me, but as we got older, those same skinny minnies as my mom called them were envious of me because I had grown into my shape. I was the epitome of what they couldn't be: unique and fearless. I met my husband when I was 16, and he was a little older. He loved that while I was beautiful, I wasn't a carbon copy. And he was an "a**" man lol. While I may not be model beautiful, let's look at what is considered beautiful by those standards: unhealthily thin, no hips, no but, and let's be honest, a lot of those girls aren't very pretty. My husband seems to think I have a timeless beauty that will get better with age. I don't have a face that is easy to get confused with others. Now I am maturing in my fashion, and it's still me. I have tattoos and jet black hair, annd it looks good on me. The preppy look wouldn't look right on me and I'm more than okay with that.
Now this pertains to you as well because scars that deep especially when incurred that young stick with you. Buying new clothes and makeup won't help your feelings unless however you're dressing in a way that others want instead of how you want. Those insecurities can be nagging, but sometimes the best thing to do is figure out who is really thinking them? You or those kids at school. Kids are cruel and say things when they're jealous. Kids are also stupid at times. (honestly who puts their status on how much they paid for a pair of jeans?) If the insecurities keep coming, a therapist may be in order. A good one that's willing to talk to you, not one that just throws meds at you when you walk in the door. That said, sometimes, as in my case, medications may be needed for depression or OCD. That can severely affect your outlook and there's nothing wrong with taking them if you have to.
Finally, look at who you are now. Who DOES like the way they looked as a kid
I was a chubby little thing, but it grew me into who I am now. Also, did those rude comments fuel you to better yourself? In my case, I usually had to keep to myself and it made me work on my creativity, and I am now a Jack of all trades when it comes to art, including drawing, painting, sewing, and cosmetology, all self taught. It also let me see how little the opinions of those kind of people actually mean, and it made me a fierce advocate for myself and in turn my friends. I realize it turns some people down the wrong path and bullying is never a good thing, but before I was shy and didn't say a thing when people were cruel to me... until I had enough. In a way, it did me good. See if you can find any good in what happened and if it can bring you any solace. I wish you the best of luck!
Now this pertains to you as well because scars that deep especially when incurred that young stick with you. Buying new clothes and makeup won't help your feelings unless however you're dressing in a way that others want instead of how you want. Those insecurities can be nagging, but sometimes the best thing to do is figure out who is really thinking them? You or those kids at school. Kids are cruel and say things when they're jealous. Kids are also stupid at times. (honestly who puts their status on how much they paid for a pair of jeans?) If the insecurities keep coming, a therapist may be in order. A good one that's willing to talk to you, not one that just throws meds at you when you walk in the door. That said, sometimes, as in my case, medications may be needed for depression or OCD. That can severely affect your outlook and there's nothing wrong with taking them if you have to.
Finally, look at who you are now. Who DOES like the way they looked as a kid
I was a chubby little thing, but it grew me into who I am now. Also, did those rude comments fuel you to better yourself? In my case, I usually had to keep to myself and it made me work on my creativity, and I am now a Jack of all trades when it comes to art, including drawing, painting, sewing, and cosmetology, all self taught. It also let me see how little the opinions of those kind of people actually mean, and it made me a fierce advocate for myself and in turn my friends. I realize it turns some people down the wrong path and bullying is never a good thing, but before I was shy and didn't say a thing when people were cruel to me... until I had enough. In a way, it did me good. See if you can find any good in what happened and if it can bring you any solace. I wish you the best of luck!
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Users who thank CyanideShowtime for this post:
YoungButterfly4
Just reading this makes me feel fierce 
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Don't give so much depression to yourself. Kechara Red Tara Chakra helps you to attract love and magnetizes, improves relationships and romances. You are successful proffessional and stong girl, but you don't show to the guys, you need to look like a pity girl and need somebody to concern, then guys will come forward to you. Hope you wish will come truth soon.
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It's what's on the inside that counts.
You may be butt-ugly on the outside and rupugnat to look at, but looks fade. Someone who is too attached to how someone looks on the outside is investing in something that is going to wind up turning into a wrinkly rag years down the road.
I hope I have helped you.
You may be butt-ugly on the outside and rupugnat to look at, but looks fade. Someone who is too attached to how someone looks on the outside is investing in something that is going to wind up turning into a wrinkly rag years down the road.
I hope I have helped you.
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You're too picky with the boys. Stap. This is life, mayne. You's a princess.
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I have had weight struggles for a long time. But it get up and look into the mirror and tell myself that I am worth it. I AM Beautiful. I am sexy. I am ready for the day. You have to believe in yourself and know what you want in life as of now. Make those your daily goals and go for them. But also look to the Bible for many of the answers you are looking for. My husband is the answer to my prayers and no matter how big or small I am he loves me all the same.
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Beauty is subjective. One persons idea of a ten is another persons idea of a 4.
Relationshops are not all that people make them out to be. Some people are in relationships just for self validation!
Sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders, and it sounds like guys might be intimidated by your looks AND intelligence. Kudos to you for that!
Do not ever settle for anything less than what you think is the best for you.
I feel the same way, some women think im a ten other women think im a 5. i feel like im a 3 lol no one approaches me, and im told that no one does because i am intimidating. please....lol give me a break, it is flattering and all but i feel it is because i am not attractive enough. so i get where you are coming from.
all i can say is youre beauty stems from more than just looks, and guys are very intimidated by that
Relationshops are not all that people make them out to be. Some people are in relationships just for self validation!
Sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders, and it sounds like guys might be intimidated by your looks AND intelligence. Kudos to you for that!
Do not ever settle for anything less than what you think is the best for you.
I feel the same way, some women think im a ten other women think im a 5. i feel like im a 3 lol no one approaches me, and im told that no one does because i am intimidating. please....lol give me a break, it is flattering and all but i feel it is because i am not attractive enough. so i get where you are coming from.
all i can say is youre beauty stems from more than just looks, and guys are very intimidated by that
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Listen, you are beautiful in every way... You are intellectually & on the outside... You should have more confidence in yourself & dignity... Don't make other people's words affect the fact that you are alive... YOU ARE LIVING LIFE!! You need to stand up & talk to yourself enhance your confidence... And, if you need to gain respect you gotta give respect to gain it!!!
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"Beauty is beyond what we look like". Well, it'll be just a motto of someone ugly they say. But for me, everyone is unique we have qualities that no one have, sometime we dwell on negative thoughts too much that we forget that we have something beautiful in us but being over shadowed by our past or what "reality" says today. We are all beautiful i our own ways just need to embrace whoever we are. Changes will be helpful especially if you stop the thinking of what makes you ugly. "STAY BEAUTIFUL and LOVE YOURSELF MORE"
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This is simple. Accept the fact that God has given to you. your beautiful in your own way. don't mind if someones say bad with you. Be thankful!
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This page was last updated on May 22, 2013.
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