Alright, this answer comes from a 22/m who is not yet married. Since I am not yet married I am not very sure if my opinion is going to help you much. I would like to make an effort though. I believe more in solving the differences out and saving the relationship than breaking it out altogether as a solution. In your case, however, it seems your husband is always overruling you. Like you said, you had to force him into the marriage. To be honest, if he truly loved you, you wouldn't really need to force him to get married to you (not being "judgmental" though). Another example is the fact he never gives you enough money. In, my opnion, it's the duty of the husband to take care of the wife. When I get married in future, I will be accepting my wife in the name of God and I hope that wouldn't be a joke. To me, accepting someone, in the name of God and then leaving her alone in trouble is a direct insult to God.

He is pushing you and yet he is interested when it comes to having sex. So now he is only attracted to you for your physical beauty (once again, not trying to be "judgmental"). You also said, you are miserable and no longer happy with this relationship.

So, the first thing you should do, in my opinion, is to give it a final try to save the relationship. Try to convince him a final time and ask him if he really loves you. Ask him if he is really committed and determined to maintain a true relationship with you and if he is prepared to leave his arrogant attitude. If you find his answers are not positive, well, it's time to move on. Divorce is perhaps the solution for you (personally, this the last thing I would suggest you but if he does not change you have to go for it despite the 3 children you have). Find a better man for yourself who will always be there with you.

Finally, I hope you come up with an appropriate solution for this problem.

God bless you!

The first mistake...'forcing' him into marriage.
The second mistake...contributing to the home when your name isn't even on the title.
The third mistake...letting him 'take over' your business.

You have to get out of the relationship. Firstly, contact a lawyer...shop around, make sure you find one that understands how to put
caveats on property, and sue for the repairs and improvements you made. If that means the house has to be sold, and you paid off, that is what it means.

You have to get him out of the company.

Stop acquiesing to him. Stop feeling you owe him anything.

Face it, you 'forced' him into marriage. That mistake can be corrected by forcing him out.

if you really dont want to be married to him. i think your best bet is to talk to a lawyer! lay out your whole situation out to see what you can walk away with, and what you might loose. never feel like you cant go any where.
i've gotten myself out of a rock and a hard place, and so can you.

There was an experiment many years ago, about learned helpness. I won't go into the gruesome details, but the finding was, that those who learn helplessness don't even struggle. Even when they can escape, they remain because they have taught themselves that 'resistence is futile'.

Unlearn it.

I can list cases of women who were able to walk out of a relationship at the most impossible and unbelievable moments because they believed they could.

Your life sounds so much like mine that it's scary. I feel the same way and have the same problem. I somehow feel going to a lawyer will compound my problems. My husband appears "nice" to everyone else, and I'm sure he'll convince them all I'm crazy. (I'm so sick of hearing how nice he is from people who don't really know our lives.) You must get out somehow. I must, too.

Sounds like my first husband. Everyone thought he was so nice. It is possible to get out of the situation and grab hold of your life. I was young with two small children, a high mortgage pmt., etc. and a very low paying job at the time. I caught my husband cheating on me when my son was just 6 weeks old. I came home from a mommy and me class with my toddler and he had a girl in the house. I found myself forgiving him, he would be good for awhile and then I would catch him again. I don't know what his problem was and he's on his 3rd wife and still cheats. Anyway, I finally had enough and told him to leave. It was difficult for many years but at least I had my dignity. It was better than the cheating, mental abuse, and lack of honest love. I decided I deserved better and I did. I always stayed friendly with him to make it easier for the kids. I didn't want them to grow up with divorced parents who fought. Go to an attorney and take your life back. Remember that you are divorcing him, if that's what you decide to do but the children aren't and he will always be their father. You sound like an intelligent woman. You have been able to start a business and make it grow at a young age. You will be just fine. I wish you luck!

Make sure the next man you fall in love with loves and treats you the way you deserve to be treated.

unhappy work to hard

royaljane,
if you dont mind me asking, what are your plans?

Royaljane
Marriage is built by two people, working or broken, you have to accept responsibility for your failures in the marriage as well as his. You owe it to yourself and your husband to talk with him honestly and frankly about your feelings and offer him a chance to work with you to correct what has gone wrong in the marriage. Be clear with him that failure to resolve problems means you will have to surrender and leave.

If you have no choice but to leave, focus less on how you're going to get your money out of your husband and how you're going to retain your children and restart your life. Choose a lawyer that you feel a positive connection with. Devote yourself completely to this process, it will affect your life more than anything else you do during the year before your divorce.

Regardless of whether this comes to divorce. Start today by collecting evidence of the money you put into the home or business, examples where you spoiled the children when your husband would not. These things may be hard to get your hands on if the marriage becomes more hostile.