Am I suffering from depression?
Recently I have been feeling really low. I'm finding myself crying several times a week,and just generally feeling like "whats the point in life-is this it?" I used to have loads of friends, and love to socialise with people. Now, I just find it so difficult, and have watched my circle of friends shrink, as I have become distant and MUCH more introverted. I am now avoiding social situations fearing that i will be perceived as boring/uninteresting! I just want to regain my possitive outlook on life. I've also been having problems with my eating habbits, and have become bulimic. I've told nobody about it. Several modeling agenicies have approached me, but im just way to vulnerable at the minute to do anything about it - i see myself as really FAT and UGLY!I start university next year, and its supposedly meant to be the best time of a persons life....i want to enjoy it, and not feel how i do now;- sad, worthless, unloved, lonely, and boring!
Your description of symptoms does indicate that you might be depressed. Introversion and lowered self-esteem are the consequences of depression.
You could start by taking some help from a mental health professional. There are some really good anti-depressants available today which you can take for a few weeks / months initially to get you going. Along with the medicines, you will have to imbibe some modified thinking process. At present, you seem to think about events as negative.
It is probably only your heightened anxiety about "what people will think of me" that prevents you from initiating social contacts. It's because you are seeing the world through the glasses of depression. The world is bound to appear negative, and future hopeless.
You need to modify how you take things. Do not attach values to others' opinions. What I mean by that is you are not "good" or "bad" just because people might think so.
You are going to start University. Set some really motivating goals for yourself for the coming few years. Start planning for them. And start working on them. You will realize half of your anxiety will be taken care of. You might benefit from some help from a therapist to help you modify the thoughts and beliefs as I mentioned earlier.
Wish you a very happening New Year.
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