hello, i know how your feeling to a point. i'm looking after a friend with anarexia, takes up nearly all my time and the stress of it is slowly killing me. i know you said your shy so i think counciling will only help a little. what you need to try to do is get help in getting out with people. you said your husband as cancer, well there is help out there for family members who care for people with cancer, they can help you get out and have some freedom, and please tell your kids your there mother not a door mat .. be strong ..