Hi everyone. I'm a 17-year-old girl and I feel very lonely. What I'm going to say right now may sounds stupid useless, but it's not for me. So I will ask you to pay attention and to try to understand why I feel this way
So ok I'm 17 and I'm in high school. I am not very shy and I could even say that I'm outgoing, I talk to people very easily it's not really a problem for me. Most of people like me I guess and find me funny because I'm a bit crazy and eccentric.(I'm quite proud of that) yet I have many issues that I can't get out of my head.
First of all, I don't know if you have noticed, but most of teenagers nowadays are into drugs or love to go to parties to get drunk and all (I'm not saying everyone is like that, I'm just saying most of them) and I am really not into those things. I'm really not the kind of girl who will start to do like everybody just to have friends. But still I'm very anxious about this. I feel isolated from other people and alone.
But also here is the second thing I'm dealing with and it's very hard to struggle. Despite the fact that I feel isolated (I started to get used to it so I try to not bother anymore) I feel unloved, unnoticed. Like I have some friends but very few close friends and even those close friends I'm not sure if they really care about me. You're gonna say that i'm selfish, which I am , a flaw that I'm stuck with, but I can't help it. I somehow need people to give me interest, I'm even addicted to people! I feel so shameful saying this and stupid, because I am like a slave. I wish sometimes I could have no feeling and no affection for people. Because it really messes up with my head. For example if I don't text a friend, she will never text me. It's a stupid example maybe but I never feel that people care about me. I'm just always making the first move, almost licking their butts because I want some recognition. I'm pretty sure that if I disappear they won't even notice. All I'm asking for is a little bit of recognition. I feel like nobody cares about me, they're always doing their business. Once again I might sound selfish, but I'm doing so much efforts to care about people, even the most reclusive ones I found a way to get
Close to them. I make them talk to me, express their feelings and all, but I don't have it back. People never ask me how I am going or how they are going, I always have to be the one who goes to them asking them how they are.
Please help me to struggle with this, I know it might be preposterous, to make
A great deal of anything, but I'm seriously in pain.
It seems to me you are very confident and expect everyone to like you. That will never happen as many shy away from boisterous people.
You say you have friends. You are very, very lucky. Most on this forum would struggle to name even one so it's my guess they feel little empathy or sympathy for someone who want to be the centre of attention. Therefore so many views and no replies.
You need to calm down, face the relity that not everyone is going to like you and accept the friends you have and make sure you keep them. With every relationhip one person seems to do all the contacting. If you get a cool reception then it's a problem. If it's still good reception then what's the problem?
You know not everyone feels the ned to be in constant contact with others. Many of us actually enjoy our alone time.
Thank you for your answer. The thing is, I tend to get anxious very easily for nothing and I just can't control it. I like to be on my own but sometimes it makes me feel very anxious. I know I may sound very stupid. but I don't want everyone to like me, I know that's impossible. I just want to have a close friend who I know is genuine. I just feel alone, I can't help it. I struggle with it everyday and it's a real obsession. Just want to let you know that I don't want attention from everybody, I just want a bit of attention from some people who I think are my friends.
A genuine friend is hard to find and most don't ever find such a person. Usually only in marriage. If these people are your friends they will show you such without you needing it.
Just be yourself and people will come and go. It's rare that people make life long connections as life today is so transient. Used to be we'd live and die in one town. Today? Not so therefore friends will change and move on etc. So will you.
I always had an urge to move even though I always had a group of friends. I always chose to move away and start again. And found a new group. Now I prefer to be alone except for immediate family.
I lived in every capital city here in Australia before I finaly felt "At home" And in a city I'd always dismissed before. Go figure.
We change, life changes. That's how it is.
You don't sound stupid at all but maybe you should see a doc about a referral to a therapist for the anxiety. Don't let that grow as it gets big and nasty real quick.
Thank you for your answer sincerely. I am feeling better now thank god I'm not feeling anxious everyday. I just have phases like that I guess I just have to deal with it. I hope one day I will have genuine friends and that we will have something real to share.
i know this question was answered already and i dont exactly have an answer for you i just wanted to say in some weird way finding this post was a relief because I feel the exact same way and i didnt know that anyone else felt this way too because i dont know i just feel its sort of weird. This is something that hurts me alot was well and i cry because i feel selfish and stupid about it but what can i do huh :p but thank you so much for sharing this it made me feel alot better