Recently diagnosed he has been on Lithium and dosage keeps increasing for 4 months. For the past 2 months he has been on the computer up to 16 hours in a day. I have seen the sites he clicks off of when I come into the room.
I went to several and found him profiled along with other men looking for no strings attached relationship. For sex. He claims to have cancelled them. He is furious when I find more of them claiming that although he cancelled they don't always come off for up to 3 months.
He swears he isn't talking to these women or going to meet them. But I've seen he has a Yahoo mail and he refuses to admit he does. Now his computer is password protected.
He won't talk about it. He yells throws things, etc. He goes to places he knows I won't attend just to get away from me and always smelling good. He is avoiding me, likely because we argue so much.
He has been out of work for 4 months and just left to go to work out of country for a month then home and then to work for another month. It is the job of a lifetyme. Good money and benefits. The doc said that the stress has caused an "episode" and he has been on a high for weeks. I am hoping that being away will help him get it under control. She put him on a traquillizer for the next month to see if the high can be reduced.
I am in agony. I have found that he doesn't go to the places he says he is going. I called two numbers he dialed on the phone just before he went out the other day. I phoned them, both women. ONe said they chatted and that was all. I asked her to stay away and she agreed. The other well would admit nothing other then the fact that he'd just left. when he got home and went on his computer he came out all upset saying that a male friend called irate because I'd called his mother and girlfriend making threats about cheating with my husband. So now I really feel crazy............. I wanted to call my husbands friend and apologize and he told me no and broke a window in the house.
I've been with him for 17yrs of mostly hell. Due to his spending habits and drug use, we lost homes and often went without even food. He was injured at work in 1998 and for 6 years of surgery and recouperation I was his nurse caregiver and held down a full time job. Finally the bi polar diagnosis and I thought it would all be ok now. No drugs no crazy spending.
The only thing that hasn't changed is that he loves me. It is very sincere, but why oh why would he be doing this advertising for sex. He puts on there that I am boring, and he is sex starved! How insulting. He is the one who is so comfortable with me, and has back pain. He is the one who makes it boring. Not me.
Any advice please. I am so sad. After all these years of struggling to care for him, home, finances, and working to pay his debts and for his drug habit. Finally now he has a job and can take care of me. I don't want to leave this marriage, finally I should be able to relax a little.
Please talk to me, I am desperate for support from somewhere.
Thank You!