Trust him. Unless he has given you a rock solid reason, give him his space. That is one thing about bipolar you must learn. We need our space sometime and it is nothing personal about it.

I agree completely. Many people that have various mental disorders report needing space. This causes contention in the relationship for many people with a disorder.

Not everyone who has bipolar disorder cheats. If you read the messages, many of the people that did go off and cheat where not medicated or needed to see their doctor for a medication review. It is at moments when the person is not stable that impulsive behavior can become a problem. If your b/f is taking his medication and is not showing any signs of instability then relax. Have faith in him and your relationship with him.

Recently diagnosed he has been on Lithium and dosage keeps increasing for 4 months. For the past 2 months he has been on the computer up to 16 hours in a day. I have seen the sites he clicks off of when I come into the room.

I went to several and found him profiled along with other men looking for no strings attached relationship. For sex. He claims to have cancelled them. He is furious when I find more of them claiming that although he cancelled they don't always come off for up to 3 months.

He swears he isn't talking to these women or going to meet them. But I've seen he has a Yahoo mail and he refuses to admit he does. Now his computer is password protected.

He won't talk about it. He yells throws things, etc. He goes to places he knows I won't attend just to get away from me and always smelling good. He is avoiding me, likely because we argue so much.

He has been out of work for 4 months and just left to go to work out of country for a month then home and then to work for another month. It is the job of a lifetyme. Good money and benefits. The doc said that the stress has caused an "episode" and he has been on a high for weeks. I am hoping that being away will help him get it under control. She put him on a traquillizer for the next month to see if the high can be reduced.

I am in agony. I have found that he doesn't go to the places he says he is going. I called two numbers he dialed on the phone just before he went out the other day. I phoned them, both women. ONe said they chatted and that was all. I asked her to stay away and she agreed. The other well would admit nothing other then the fact that he'd just left. when he got home and went on his computer he came out all upset saying that a male friend called irate because I'd called his mother and girlfriend making threats about cheating with my husband. So now I really feel crazy............. I wanted to call my husbands friend and apologize and he told me no and broke a window in the house.

I've been with him for 17yrs of mostly hell. Due to his spending habits and drug use, we lost homes and often went without even food. He was injured at work in 1998 and for 6 years of surgery and recouperation I was his nurse caregiver and held down a full time job. Finally the bi polar diagnosis and I thought it would all be ok now. No drugs no crazy spending.

The only thing that hasn't changed is that he loves me. It is very sincere, but why oh why would he be doing this advertising for sex. He puts on there that I am boring, and he is sex starved! How insulting. He is the one who is so comfortable with me, and has back pain. He is the one who makes it boring. Not me.

Any advice please. I am so sad. After all these years of struggling to care for him, home, finances, and working to pay his debts and for his drug habit. Finally now he has a job and can take care of me. I don't want to leave this marriage, finally I should be able to relax a little.

Please talk to me, I am desperate for support from somewhere.

Thank You!

Here is the skivvy on cheating in a relationship. Bipolar or not, if a person is or wants to cheat on the other, its going to happen. I am here to say I have never cheated and I have had plenty of offers over they years to do so. To me its the most sacred part of a relationship, that being trust. It seems that a lot of people these days don't really understand what a commitment really is with a divorce rate of better than 50%.

It's not the act of cheating because any rabbit can hump, its the trust issues that have now been destroyed and I hate when someone uses the illness as an excuse as to why it happened. Everything from being manic to hyper sexuality has been used, and why not...the other partner allowed it to be overlooked as an excuse. I can also tell you that in these cases, this person will keep doing it over and over using the same excuse.

For you my dear...I would not move into the realm of marriage until the trust issues on your end are a bit more secure. Everyone has doubts and usually gets the case of cold feet as the date gets closer. My suggestion is to have a sit down and discuss it with him and not in a accusatory way, but that for right now you are having issues with it.

There is a drop box to the right hand side of each search engine that he uses. If you click on the drop box, you may be able to confrim you sespission. Do this only if you are ready to face reality that this could be true. Instent Messaging is the only thing that will not so up. But porn sites etc and other frequantly visited site well.
Do this only if you are ready to face whatever is below that drop box.

I am absolutely ready because I really am 90% certain.

Does anyone know if bipolar and mid life are in related in some way to this type of behavior?

My husband although having a lot of related bipolar traits (we ddn't know what it was til recently diagnosed) has never been the type to be unfaithful.

LOL I am so desperate to know the truth that I have gone to the sites I found him on a joined several under a bogus name. Contacted him with that name and thus far I am waiting to see if he contacts me.

Thank You again

Question again............. Could it be related to bipolar?

I just need to write this to say I've been there with my wife for about 12 years now, with the bad times and the good times. We have two children and at this point of my life I don't feel like I have a life. I take care of my children and her. This is sad to say this but if I ever had a chance to take it back I would make the choice of it before we had children. If you have no children thank goodness. You have a chance before everything is complicated with children to get out of it. You might think you had so much time together invested but once you get children the whole thing turns up on it's head upside down. If you do have children I hope for your sake and others the children dont have to live with the cheating, fighting, and the strange behaviors a bipolar person goes through in a year with meds and without. I've been cheated on 20X or so, it�s hard to think but it's not about the sex anymore it about getting the chase on with other men. This excitement she is getting is what she think is a great rush. This thinking is driving me crazy! She wants to be chased? So now I get the news of hearing a guy at her work loves her and wants to leave his wife and try to marry my wife. We talked about him drawing the line and it's the end of their friend ship but she feels that they were only friends and didn't really mean to say it. If I were too strict the calls or tell her not to talk to someone she has with other men it just makes me insecure or controlling. Why should I go on and live a life of looking over my back for the rest of my life. The point is if you don�t trust anymore you need to get out. You�ll invest more time on searching if they�re cheating on you then on yourself. It�s not worth it I've been there a hundred times and figured I need to invest in myself and let her go.