feeling guilty, sexually active but still a virgin

hey,
I'm so worried and stressed because I'm sexually active (kisses ,hugs, licking breast and rub*ing vagina) but still a virgin because i never put in a c*ck and never bleed ?, I really need to know if this will have any side effects on my body? am i really still a virgin ? we promised not to do any of this again except after marriage.
I also feel so h*rny , i always give myself a rub , watch p*rn all the time and i'm so ashamed of my self because i'm only 16 and i can't stop it.
I feel that I really need my boyfriend to hug me when i'm alone more than any thing else ( rubb*ng , kisses and this things )so i can feel safe and warm but this is against my religion and i can't do this in public in my community,even we won't find a private place, any suggestions?, i know there's a lot of non sense in my words but if he just hug me all the time i think i may stop because i need nothing but his kindness but also he doesn't know anything about this bad things i do, I feel so guilty please help me.
I wanna make the first time sex (that i'm saving it for my marriage) very special but I don't know what to do ,i'm totally freaking out . will this things make me numb because i feel like i'm losing my feelings and if i stop doing this crazy things ,will i feel the first time pleasure?

I'm so out of control and i really need help
thank you for your time