Depression Forum - Feeling depressed

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Q: Feeling depressed

asked by: Sadnow55 on May 29th, 2009

New User

I had a tough childhood. I know theres many out there with a tough life and mine isnt as bad. But I am still depressed. I have stopped taking care of my self all together for years now. I've gained weight. I've ben denying that I am depressed.

I am 21 and cant depend on my parents. They actually depend on me for everything. I have a young brother who depends on me alot. I am in a relationship but I still feel alone and not understood no matter how much I try to express myself. I have quite a few bills to pay and not enough work. My parents , brother, friend and boyfriend constantly depend on me but I feel I have no one to catch me if I fall. Im always there when needed but dont feel I have the same from anyone.I constantly am on the defensive and always feel taken for granted. I work hard in my job but my efforts go unnoticed.

I am known as the optimist according to my friend ( my one friend, I've pushed away others) but I am only optimistic when it comes to someone elses life that isnt me. I feel a gap growing between me and the world. I am tired. Stressed, overwhelmed, sad, and just feel down and hopeless.
I feel like I am walking with chains on my shoulders and my nerves are peaking. I am getting nervous twitches and stress related migraines and have trouble sleeping. I have no money for doctor or treatment. I feel stuck. What do I do..

Replies(4)

kdlee

replied on May 29th, 2009

Supporter

Honey, maybe it's time to say NO..Maybe it's time to sit down and talk with all these people who are relying on you that you need help yourself..There is no worse feeling than being alone in a crowd..

You said you have stopped taking care of yourself--do yurelf a favor--take ca nice bubble bath do your nails your hair andmakeup, put on some nice clothes or if need be go to a thrift store or consignemnet store and buys omething new--I beleive you can feel better just by making yoruself look better.. and yes i shop at both places as much as i can..

Take control back in your life..I understnad about hte tough childhood..I can talk wiht oyu about that if you like just PM if you do..But plase talk with your family and boyfriend-let them know youa re stressing..Bring them into your concerns and give them a chance to offer help..

Do you have an area where you can have your family do a garden to help with food stuffs..Does everyone have jobs to do around the home to help you--if not can you make a list for help for each one..

Please go online and check for free medical help in your area..If you need assistance I will help you look..
KD

Sadnow55

replied on May 29th, 2009

New User

thanks for the quick response KD, I feel better just knowing someone out there heard me. It just feels better to admit it to myself. My parents dont work (cant find a job) and my boyfriend is in school (takes up most of his time) trying to get us a better future. I'll try taking up a new hobby or something, your gardening suggestion gave me the idea. I still feel too down to fix myself up, but at least a hobby might get me in better spirits hopefully. Thanks alot KD I appreciate it

kdlee

replied on May 29th, 2009

Supporter

I thought I answered but must not have..Take sometime for you no matter what..Even a hot bubble bath can relax you for a few..Be kinder to yourself..I am here anytime you wnat to talk, I check email frequently..I am putting yhou as a friend so if needed i can get to you quicker..keep your chin up honey things will get better..it's great your boyfriend is going to school--a better life for you all will happen..Your parents cans till help you in cooking, cleaning, yard work and projects that will make them feel useful and productive no matter what..It's hard to be a parent and leaning on the child..KD

kdlee

replied on May 31st, 2009

Supporter

How are you today? I hope you have had some time for you..

What kind of hobby do you plan to try? I actually do scrap booking, gardening, HO scale train houses for my husbands HO scale train lay out..I write poetry and I try to cry when nothing else makes sense..I say try because I am so dry tears are hard to come by..But each day I look for something to smile at..

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