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Feeling depressed and alone

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I'm 22 and tomorrow I will be 25 weeks pregnant and all I've been doing for the past few days is crying. I feel like I'm going through this pregnancy alone. I'm used to being very independent and not needing help from anyone and now that I'm pregnant I need help but no one is willing to give it. My husband and I just got married in June. Because of the pregnancy, we haven't been intimate since May. I just lost my entire sex drive, don't want to be touched half the time, and have pain down there a lot of the time( I guess from all the blood rushing or building up down there). He says he is ok with it but I feel very guilty that I don't want to do anything. I would like us to build up our emotional relationship though.

He works nights so when he comes home in the morning he reads the paper and goes to sleep - doesn't even talk to me. When he gets up, he usually gets something to eat or goes on the computer. I wish he talked to me more. We have had repeated arguments about it and he talks to me for a little while but after a couple days he stops. He is also 22 and is spoiled rotten by his parents. He definately isn't independent like me. Probably the biggest mistake we made was buying a house 6 doors down from his father. His parents call him everyday and he can talk to them about who knows what but can't talk to me. Clearly, it annoys me a lot. His mother came over to help fix the paint job in the nursery the other day and he didn't even help her. He always lets his parents do everything for him, which is one reason I wanted him to do it himself. Well, he's not a very good painter so someone needed to fix it. But while his mother was there, he went into the bedroom and started sleeping! And I cannot stand his mother! That's just very rude and childish to me.

He thinks when I'm home at night I'm always sleeping all throughout the night. Well, I haven't been sleeping. The cat wakes me up at about 3 am, I think he is getting jealous that a baby is coming. And I have so much pain in my hips throughout the night, I just can't get comfortable. And he knows this. He comes home and says, "wake up, you've been sleeping all night!" Lately, his jokes are just making me cry. I clean and clean the house and the bigger I get the harder it is to clean, and he cannot keep the house clean for a day! He gets annoyed when I want to get out of the house and want him to come with me to buy something for the house or the baby. It's just getting to be too much for me.

He is a last minute kind of a person and I'm not. I want to get things done. I'm so afraid that this baby is going to come and nothing is going to be ready. Another thing is, I really have no one to talk to. I call my mom and try to talk to her and she either says go talk to a therapist or that it's just me overreacting. And then she won't even stay on the phone with me, she will cut me off when I'm telling her something and say dinner is ready. So I stopped calling her. She only calls me when she has something to tell me. She asks how I am feeling but really doesn't want to listen. And I don't think she is even thinking about my baby shower. She has nothing planned and is not even looking into getting it planned. Now she told me the other day that she got a new job, so I think she is just going to forget about the shower. His mom only likes to talk about herself. I have so many problems with his family. In the beginning of the pregnancy, she told me I went and got pregnant on my own. That her son wouldn't of wanted a baby before marriage. Little did she know, we were trying for 6 months. We had always planned to get married in June, we just didn't tell anyone. I knew I would get pregnant in May and we got engaged 2 weeks before we found out. We just kinda did everything in one shot, so people think we were rushing things but we were really talking about it for months. It was just because he was lazy and he's the biggest procrastinator that we didn't do it earlier.

My husband and I are also supposed to go to Disney with his mother and uncle in a month. I will be at the end of my 7th month. All she talks about is Disney. I just really hope we get some time to ourselves because she is planning everything. And we are driving down. I hate leaving my cat alone and because of my mom getting the job, I don't think she will take care of him. I'm going to have to ask his father to take care of him, which I don't really trust him doing it. I'm just so overwhelmed with things and feel like I'm not getting any help from my hubby and really have no one to talk to. Being 22, all my friends are the partying type. None of them think of settling down and having kids so I can't really talk to them about it. Plus, they stopped calling. I'm afraid to tell my Dr. I'm depressed because they really don't like to listen. He just likes to do what he needs to do and get out of the room. He never asks how I'm feeling or if I have questions.

Anyone have any thoughts? Thanks for reading this if you did, I know it's pretty long!
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First Helper klynn10
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replied September 27th, 2008
Experienced User
I Think you need a new dr as for haveing someone to talk to if you would like i am willing to lissen to you amd give you as mush help as i can. I am 23 and 10wk pregnant not as far as you but I am a great lissener just not a good speller lol. Message me if you want to talk.
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replied October 4th, 2008
I feel exactly the same as you do, although I'm not married. I am also 22. I am 30 weeks pregnant with my first baby. My boyfriend is pretty much no help to me at all, in fact he probably makes the situation worse. It feels as though my friends also have forgotten about me. I have issues with his mother, when I try to talk to my mom she just tells me that I should be happy that he is still around. He lives here pretty much for free, eats the food I buy, and helps pay for nothing. He also told me if I dont give the baby his last name he won't sign the birth certificate. He makes me miserable and all i want for my daughter is a happy life with a happy family like i had growing up. I dont think it is going to happen like that though. He too tells me that I am lazy, he just doesnt understand what its like. So unfortunatly for me I am feeling very depressed lately and I cry all the time.

Everything happens for a reason though. That is what I believe. Everything will work out in the end, no matter what happens. Just remember that some day you will have a beautiful little baby in your arms. You'll be a great mommy!
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replied January 8th, 2010
Lonley momma
I know the feeling. My husband and i got married and found out i was pregnant in october. He wanted to give the baby up for adoption but when he started telling everyone i was pregnant including his family he cane around to the idea, but he refuses to talk to me about the baby, he gets mad at me when i bring up the topics of anything related to the baby. I feel like im going through this by myself and its hard. I had really hoped that he would be excited, and even if he couldnt at least to pretend to be for me. If you ever need someone to talk to im always avaliable
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replied June 13th, 2010
Hi I don't usually reply to these kind of things but your storey has really struck a chored. I am 22 and also 25 weeks pregnant and feel very emotional at the moment, however I am lucky and have a very supportive boyfriend. The main reason I wanted to reply to you was because of the pains you said you are having I have been having the same pains. At first I thought it was a urine infection but after having treatment for that twice I was referred to a physiotherapist who 3 weeks ago diagnosed something called SPD I am now on crutches and have a support belt but they are helping also try putting a pillow inbetween your legs at night and keep you knees together, avoid stairs and make sure you do your pelvic floor exercises. There are different levels of pain with SPD but I really think you should ask to see a physio I would never have known what this pain was and that it is not just 'pregnancy pain' as everyone insisted it was without seeing a physio. You know your own body so listen to it if you are in pain push the Dr to do something. Unfortunatley there is no cure for this except giving birth so if it is SPD you will probebly suffer a lot more before baby arrives but picking up on it early means you can begin to manage the pain a bit better. SPD happens due to a hormone called relaxin that has been released too early and too much. Basically my whole pelvis and hips have loosened ready for child birth and due to this the pubic bones are grinding. I know this may sound scary, it does to me too but I also feel a bit of relief to know what is happening with me and it means that family and friends don't just dismiss me when I say I am in pain. I am looky to have a good support network but it doesn't stop me feeling frustraited, angry and upset I just hope all this is hormonal and will go away when my little man gets here. Good luck to you and have a look online at this SPD at least you might feel some relief and can start to manage the pain please know that you are not alone with your emotions or the pain you are feeling.
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replied June 16th, 2010
if you feel depressed you should always talk to other person to listen to you so that it can lessen some of your feelings
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replied September 15th, 2011
hello there i'm 25 and am pregnant with triplets, this is my second pregnancy with a different partner from my daughters. I had a lovely pregnancy with my daughter and enjoyed every minuite of it, and i even missed my bump when it wasnt there. But this pregnancy is completly different....i have had so much pain, sickness, tiredness and headachs..you name it i have had it, but my biggist problem is i cannot stop crying and i feel completly depressed! i have felt like looking myself away in my car and not coming home, to see if anyone cares? i argue with my boyfriend all the time, and he never wonts sex with me, which makes me feel worse about my insecuraty...i dont see us lasting as im pushing him away but i cannot help it, i have hate but love for him at the same time!!!! i have tried talking to friends and family but they all ways say its the pregnancy but im not sure thats the reason! i need some advice as i am feeling so down and i have even thought about an abortion but i know ill regret it!
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replied October 3rd, 2011
My boyfriend never wants to do anything with me anymore. We don't have sex, I have to beg him to cuddle with me. He shows no affection, and tells me all the time that he just isnt that way. We used to have an outstanding sex life, and he made me feel so confident and comfortable. Lately, he picks on me, and then tells me I'm too sensitive and hormonal... I think he is just cold. I am really losing interest in our relationship, and fearful about this pregnancy now. I am only 11 weeks. I'm afraid to talk to my friends and family about this for some reason. I feel bad venting about how depressed I am, when they have their own problems.
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replied October 19th, 2011
Hey Bree...just TALK to your husband. I went through the same thing and to be honest, while pregnant we are REALLY sensitive. I'm not saying you don't know what's REALLY going on around you, but every little thing gets amplified when hormones are at work, you know. Just have a nice sit down, and get EVERYTHING off your chest. Everything from him being a needy 22 year old to you feeling guilty about the lack of sexual affection your giving him. I hope you two can have a new understanding of each other. Keep in mind too that everything goes BOTH ways. We are NOT easy to deal with pregnant, for MANY different and very complicated reasons. Lol. Most important, take care of yourself and the baby and please TALK to your husband. Tell him exactly what your needs are these days, and have no apologies about it, yet still appreciate him. Even if he does a little, thank him. With men, PRAISE goes A LONG WAY. They feel like a hero and do WHATEVER you want with praise and understanding, but with bitterness and nagging...we get nothing. I hope you feel better, let us know how things go. Good luck Bree Smile
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replied October 8th, 2012
allone and depressed
im married, already have one girl, now that in pregnant again, he says hes happy, and excited, but, hes just not that interested, im already in my third trimester now and he is just not supportive, i do everything, clean cook, look after our daughter, do the washing hang them iron them, and worst of all, im not a house wife, i work every day, mon to friday i get in the car at 6:30. and work till 6:00 only get home at half past, he goes to work at 8 and come back 5, yet i still do everything, im exhausted, so tired, just want some support, when i cry about it or try and explain how im feeling he says he feels the same way, he is also tired, im not the only one, but he has no idea how i feel, fat, hormones sweating body aches,, how can they be so insensitive, in sad, and i need a hug!!!!! anyone els has this problem, he keeps saying pregnancy in not an illness, then it makes me feel like im overreacting, but i know im not,, help me plz anyone els have this problem?
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replied May 18th, 2013
Yea im 30 weeks pregnant my with my 1st child my son father wanted me to get a abortion when I told him we were pregnant he left me for 4months befor deciding he wanted to come around nd be a parent or in my life im depressed because I work but I still need help my mom gives me a hard time about everything and I try my best to help out as much as I can my baby father turned his phone off.so I have to contact him 3rd party or wait till he calls and thats restricted I cry all the time because everything my son has I bought for him no one has helped me at all I want to go back to school after he born but no one wants to watch him and I dont trust daycares so school is out the question im tired of crying I dont have any friends no baby shower because of course I would be paying for everything my baby dad mom nd I dont get along my baby father other baby moms givs me drama cause they all had girls and I had a boy I cant sleep at night cause its so uncomfortable my dad never was around my mkm says its not her fault I got pregnant and I am doing things on my own I wantb to have sex but cant cause I dont trust the father of my child...I love my child and I have not laid eyes on him but its had that not sometimes feel like I should have gotten a abortion because I would not feel like this alone but I have to realize that he is a blessing and that everything happens for a reason but when I look in the mirror I dont see beauty I see something I dont like im and something thats not attractive anymore I feel like my baby is gonna have a hard life because of how I feel and I never wanted that for him I dont no longer know what to do and im getting more and more depressed the futher along I get I dont want people to think that I am un grateful but I have had a very rough pregnacy and have been through a lot I just dont know what else to do.... I know ur suppose to be happy nd excited while ur pregnant but I have not had that at all
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replied June 3rd, 2013
WOW, All these guys are so ridiculously lucky, I feel sick reading how their part in all this is making you feel rejected, lonely, and sad. (Speaking to the ones dealing with unsupportive partners)The girl I was with, got pregnant, then left me, completely cutting me out of the 9 months of pregnancy ill never be able to experience, because she wanted to date other guys. I had absolutely nothing to do with any of it, not the name, clothes, doc appointments, nothing. She even refused to tell me the due date, and purposely chose a name I didn't want. I'm just saying these guys have no idea how lucky they are and to be treating you like this is sickening. I'm really sorry and wish all of you the best.
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replied January 29th, 2014
Pregnant, Alone and Miserable
I'm 6 months pregnant and i have no support. I can't tell my family or friends and have no one to talk to. The father says he doesn't have to do anything until the baby is born and i should give it up for adoption. I wanted to have an abortion but they closed all the abortion clincs down in the state i live. I never thought i'd be pregnant not married and recently lost my job. I haven't been to a doctor or anything im still waiting for medicaid to approve me. I am sick and have been everyday. I vomit all the time and am nauseous. I have never felt so alone in my life. It's hard to find the will to get out of bed. I have no one or nothing. i never wanted to have kids it scares me having one. I never had dolls growing up i have never been that girl. Everything i read say pregnancy is so joyous but for me it is possibly the worst time in my life and i have been through a lot my grandfather died at christmas when i was young, i was rapped the first time i had sex by 3 guys, i was beat growing up and i could go on but this is worst than any of that. All i want is someone to love me.
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replied April 27th, 2014
reply
I feel for all of you I am 10 wks pregnant and my fiance doesnt give a lick of care to my feelings he says "pregnancy and PMS are NOT an excuse, learn to control your emotions and just deal with it." all he does is play video games work and wtch porn he is up in the middle of the night all the time and he sleeps all day when he doesnt hae to work a mediocre restarunt job and he promised no more drinking or smoking pot and i find that he stil does it fro time to time, even though he says that he wants to get a better job so he can support the baby. He doesnt understand what it is like being pregnant. and when he doesnt work i ask that he walks a block from our house to where i work to see me on a 15 min break once and a while. and after disappearing last night from 9PM to noon today he didnt shw up and i feel so alone and forgotten!!!!! I feel like im just a freaking baby carrier to him! i get absolutely NO emotional support!!!!!!!! Iwant to smash him in the face with a freaking baseball bat, and im not a violent person by any means, but thats how he makes me feel. ITS NOT FAIR!
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