I'm 22 and tomorrow I will be 25 weeks pregnant and all I've been doing for the past few days is crying. I feel like I'm going through this pregnancy alone. I'm used to being very independent and not needing help from anyone and now that I'm pregnant I need help but no one is willing to give it. My husband and I just got married in June. Because of the pregnancy, we haven't been intimate since May. I just lost my entire sex drive, don't want to be touched half the time, and have pain down there a lot of the time( I guess from all the blood rushing or building up down there). He says he is ok with it but I feel very guilty that I don't want to do anything. I would like us to build up our emotional relationship though.
He works nights so when he comes home in the morning he reads the paper and goes to sleep - doesn't even talk to me. When he gets up, he usually gets something to eat or goes on the computer. I wish he talked to me more. We have had repeated arguments about it and he talks to me for a little while but after a couple days he stops. He is also 22 and is spoiled rotten by his parents. He definately isn't independent like me. Probably the biggest mistake we made was buying a house 6 doors down from his father. His parents call him everyday and he can talk to them about who knows what but can't talk to me. Clearly, it annoys me a lot. His mother came over to help fix the paint job in the nursery the other day and he didn't even help her. He always lets his parents do everything for him, which is one reason I wanted him to do it himself. Well, he's not a very good painter so someone needed to fix it. But while his mother was there, he went into the bedroom and started sleeping! And I cannot stand his mother! That's just very rude and childish to me.
He thinks when I'm home at night I'm always sleeping all throughout the night. Well, I haven't been sleeping. The cat wakes me up at about 3 am, I think he is getting jealous that a baby is coming. And I have so much pain in my hips throughout the night, I just can't get comfortable. And he knows this. He comes home and says, "wake up, you've been sleeping all night!" Lately, his jokes are just making me cry. I clean and clean the house and the bigger I get the harder it is to clean, and he cannot keep the house clean for a day! He gets annoyed when I want to get out of the house and want him to come with me to buy something for the house or the baby. It's just getting to be too much for me.
He is a last minute kind of a person and I'm not. I want to get things done. I'm so afraid that this baby is going to come and nothing is going to be ready. Another thing is, I really have no one to talk to. I call my mom and try to talk to her and she either says go talk to a therapist or that it's just me overreacting. And then she won't even stay on the phone with me, she will cut me off when I'm telling her something and say dinner is ready. So I stopped calling her. She only calls me when she has something to tell me. She asks how I am feeling but really doesn't want to listen. And I don't think she is even thinking about my baby shower. She has nothing planned and is not even looking into getting it planned. Now she told me the other day that she got a new job, so I think she is just going to forget about the shower. His mom only likes to talk about herself. I have so many problems with his family. In the beginning of the pregnancy, she told me I went and got pregnant on my own. That her son wouldn't of wanted a baby before marriage. Little did she know, we were trying for 6 months. We had always planned to get married in June, we just didn't tell anyone. I knew I would get pregnant in May and we got engaged 2 weeks before we found out. We just kinda did everything in one shot, so people think we were rushing things but we were really talking about it for months. It was just because he was lazy and he's the biggest procrastinator that we didn't do it earlier.
My husband and I are also supposed to go to Disney with his mother and uncle in a month. I will be at the end of my 7th month. All she talks about is Disney. I just really hope we get some time to ourselves because she is planning everything. And we are driving down. I hate leaving my cat alone and because of my mom getting the job, I don't think she will take care of him. I'm going to have to ask his father to take care of him, which I don't really trust him doing it. I'm just so overwhelmed with things and feel like I'm not getting any help from my hubby and really have no one to talk to. Being 22, all my friends are the partying type. None of them think of settling down and having kids so I can't really talk to them about it. Plus, they stopped calling. I'm afraid to tell my Dr. I'm depressed because they really don't like to listen. He just likes to do what he needs to do and get out of the room. He never asks how I'm feeling or if I have questions.
Anyone have any thoughts? Thanks for reading this if you did, I know it's pretty long!
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