Hi, a few months ago i posted here about feeling down and depressed and hopeless. I explained all the bad things going on in my life and it helped a lot just to get it out, and knowing that there was somebody out there who cared enough to try and help me. I guess thats why im here. I have spent the last few months concentrating on what is good in my life and have still had days where life seemed hopeless, but looking on the brightside as they say seemed to be working. I have tried to spend as much time as possible with the most important people in my life. But now i feel particularly down again, its like as soon as i see the light at the end of the tunnel, someone builds a bloody extension to it. To make things worse, my oldest friend has decided she isn't bothered about my friendship anymore, and i know that can sound like a trivial teen problem, but i have known her since i was four and we have been close for most of this time, but when she left for university she moved on and left me behind, as did another of my friends, now i have only two close friends left and i am terrified of losing them too, because i mean i am nothing special, im not that interesting, i try to be funny, but friendships can last on that alone. Why should they choose to hold onto our friendship? Life is getting on top of me again, and thoough i havent considered suicide again, i do feel i'd be better off dead.
Im glad just to get it off my chest, but still do not know what to do, can i keep pulling myself out of this?