i feel bad for longue time ago
when i was adolescent and now i am 29 years old and i feel always the same
dependent, unusefull, sad, non confident...
i got a normal childhood and maybe a good 1
my adolescence was a litlle hard because of familly fights between my mother and my sister that mad me so sad and unable to stop and change the situation
in 2004 i travelled to continue my studies but i got verry sick "cancer"
i did my cure and i came back home than in 2008 i had a relapse of my desease i did a bone marrow transplant and now i am good my scanners are clean
but emotionly i feels so bad inspite of beeing more mature after my experience i am still so weak and depressed
a bad word of a friend makes me feel so sad
my girl friend treated so bad when i was sick and now i feel humiliated weak unable of vengance and unable to have a good look at myself i am unable to be proud of what i am and what i have passed throught
i cannot see anything to do, something usefull whish may occupy me
i cannot see new people, good people, friends, and off course a girl friend...
i feels so bad to be so lucky in my recovery of my desease while other patient have passed away and i am not able to live a normale life even the humble one.
i feel achamed, not worthy, like a parasite.
i want only to be happy for my familly they took care of me and they love me
they are ready to die for me to be happy and i am unable to be and i am unhappy because of people who have never treated me well and respected me
i am a slave of ideas drogues people and sex....
i feel really bad but still trying....