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Feeling ashamed and unworthy

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i feel bad for longue time ago
when i was adolescent and now i am 29 years old and i feel always the same
dependent, unusefull, sad, non confident...
i got a normal childhood and maybe a good 1
my adolescence was a litlle hard because of familly fights between my mother and my sister that mad me so sad and unable to stop and change the situation
in 2004 i travelled to continue my studies but i got verry sick "cancer"
i did my cure and i came back home than in 2008 i had a relapse of my desease i did a bone marrow transplant and now i am good my scanners are clean
but emotionly i feels so bad inspite of beeing more mature after my experience i am still so weak and depressed
a bad word of a friend makes me feel so sad
my girl friend treated so bad when i was sick and now i feel humiliated weak unable of vengance and unable to have a good look at myself i am unable to be proud of what i am and what i have passed throught
i cannot see anything to do, something usefull whish may occupy me
i cannot see new people, good people, friends, and off course a girl friend...
i feels so bad to be so lucky in my recovery of my desease while other patient have passed away and i am not able to live a normale life even the humble one.
i feel achamed, not worthy, like a parasite.
i want only to be happy for my familly they took care of me and they love me
they are ready to die for me to be happy and i am unable to be and i am unhappy because of people who have never treated me well and respected me
i am a slave of ideas drogues people and sex....
i feel really bad but still trying....

please i would like to here something
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replied April 23rd, 2009
Experienced User
It sounds like depression for sure but there is hope. Cbt is what helped me and has changed the lives of many others. It takes some effort but it pays offs in a lot more enjoyment of your daily life.

Here's a thread with several positive posts about CBT and other success stories.
http://ehealthforum.com/health/topic62490. html

Good luck Albaktol!
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