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feel so damned empty and sad on the inside?

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Hello everyone, hope that you are all having a nice day! My name is Dave and ima teen and so far..my life has been a little bit rough..kind of.
To tell you about myself.. I'm a teenager that stays in the front of the computer pretty much all day, playing games, or listening to music.. I'm not the best student.. I struggle with math, chemistry..whatever..but I can definitely say I'm pretty decent Very Happy I dont have that many friends..I have some..but I'm living in the "country side",and I go to school in the nearest city which is like 15km away from here.My classmates, the current ones and the last ones (I'm now in highschool here in Romania) and some other kids maybe are the only friends I could say that I have.Here at the country side i had no friends to play with or talk to..my only friend was the computer..and it still is..Primary school has been harsh.. classmates bullying me for what I said..or how I look..but Highschool is actually so nice, I have such nice classmates this time Smile..
I have healthy problems..my heart has some issues..im pretty ugly.. I have some ugh.. I think little desfigurations maybe? going on with my face? But they aren't so bad so i guess it's okay,but they're still noticeable.Im very very skinny.. I have problems with my back..im very sensible..emotional..im very shy.. I'm alone..and thinking that I'll never be normal or at least having a girlfriend or something makes me really deppresive and very sad.. I feel very empty ,and I really feel like this constant sadness can't be removed from my life..im kind of really giving up and starting to like being like this..but its not alright, im living a kind of a war between my mind, while my mind works,my heart or soul i guess just makes me feel sadness and emptyness,its just so strange. The other part of me is realizing this and being mature and thinking over stuff ..but it's just..so deep.. and strange..wow.Meaning of life huh? ..hah. going to school,playing,making friends, graduating,getting a girlfriend maybe,highschool, graduate,college, get a job, try to make a living, maybe a family, work work and work.. help or give birth to a child, help him/her grow..work work , you're old..and so on..and you die. Hahaha.well...why is it that i feel so damned empty and sad on the inside?To be honest I've never talked about these things to anyone ever..so..glad i could get this out of my head partially.. I know,I know.."pray to God","don't give up","dont be shy anymore", " have fun in life like you should" or "no worries it'll eventually stop, it's normal for a teenager" ..kind of doesnt even get to my heart,like it completely negates stuff like this..it just stays the same..oh wow.Such a long post now, isn't it? hahaha.Thank you..if you read this to the end, I appreciate you for using your personal time just to read this load of whining from a teenager.We all have problems god dang it!!!!haha.Have a really wonderful day everyone,and thanks again Smile.
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