wow buddy that sucks. I'm sorry you feel so down about yourself. I've felt that way but I was desperate and resorted in high risk behavior that actually got me gang raped when I was thirteen. Don't do that.
I read relationship psychology news letters by Christian Carter because I have trouble with boyfriends. It sounds like a typical "thinking of the worst case scenarios" situation.
Just change your thoughts around. If she doesn't call for two days tell yourself shes busy, maybe there's a problem in a class or with her parents that she is dealing with. Then think when she does have time for you she will be that much more interested.
You MUST keep an optimistic positive outlook. That's how good relationships work apparently. Negative fear based thoughts attract that back from your friends. Starting a relationship is exciting and fresh! If you are emotional and freak out it will push that gal away from you.
It does sound like she's your girlfriend. You may have not put a label on it but she probably feels the same way. Please be a gentleman and find really good financial security so that you can provide for her needs and take her out on dates as a treat. She will be swept off her feet.
The other thing too is this, it might sound funny. But a lot of extremely successful people don't get more than four hours of sleep. I'm thinking of my special friend who runs five miles a day. So if you get a lot of exercise it will make you feel energized so that you can live on less sleep. Weight training is excellent too and girls just love a man with strong biceps.
The sadness has got to go. You are not in this alone. This is a great support network and you sound like you get a lot of attention. Try attracting the right attention all of the time! Maybe if you take your highschool sweet heart to prom and give her a flower she will give you a kiss at her doorstep after you drive her home. Maybe you don't even have to wait that long. Even if you don't drive you could still take her home so that she gets home safe.
Don't loose hope boy. It's just those hard teenage years. Some people have it worse than others. Remember I was gang raped and extremely depressed. Now things are really looking up for me. Everyone has the power to turn things around.
Good luck to you!
ps when a man says he's only had one girlfriend and has only had sex with one person it sounds just amazing! So that is one thing that is definitely working for you!
