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Feel like a failure (Page 1)

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i,
here is my short story,
i was married 20 years ago,,,,,and just after marriage my inlaws gave me hell of problems,,,,,and made my life miserable,,,,my husband was with them,,,and i was just victim to keep my marriage,,,
at the same time i followed my husbands all instructions about sex,,,and fulfilled his oral and all kinds of sexual needs whether i like it or not,,,,,then i tried to do all what he wanted from me from being sexy to a servant of him!
then once he told me to get some massage with a man infront of him ......i followed blindly.....and in this all process ,,,,i kept on thinking may be someday my husband would also love me,,,,kiss me or give me oral sex or love,,,,but i never got a smile.......with love.
its my short love story. he is satisfied,,but i am not ,,,,rather i want to kil my self ....and i feel i am failure and i dont deserve any happiness in life...
we dont have kids as per my husbands wish ..
any comment
pl reply
tc,
bye
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replied February 14th, 2009
Experienced User
LEAVE HIM! you dont deserve to be treated as a servant or anything you dont wish.

You are worthy of being loved and loving somebody.

Are you saying he has never kissed you?
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replied February 14th, 2009
Experienced User
Are you attractive? Why he will not kisse you? He will never perform oral sex on you if he doesn't find you attractive, or if he never kisses you! Was he making love to you before marriage, if he was, was he satisifing you then? was he going down on you then? (oral sex) Chances are; you will never be happy with this so-called husband if he's not giving you the love and attention you deserve! leave him and find someone who will appresiates you and love you!
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replied February 15th, 2009
thanks for ur reply
hi,
yes ,,he used to satisfy me in the begining ,,,means only for few times in the beginning of marriage,,,i remember all that moments.
he says i am ver beautiful and everyone around me also tells me that i am pretty,,,,many guys propose too...but i look for him....he says he loves me ,,he says he would nver leave me....he say he will die without me...but...the problem is this i am not satisfied,,,
i dont know what kind of relationship he wants ,,sometimes it feels as he only wants me as his wife thats it.
i am very confused,,he always says he will change so and so...but in real life nothing is changed,,,,,
he spends most of his time on doing his office work,,and for me no time,
he kissed me , but it was just an ordinary moment with no passion and intimacy,,,
he can give me oral but after several months passed by and on my several requests...that really hurts me. and i am not happy ,,,
thanks for ur reply..
waiting for any comment
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replied February 15th, 2009
Community Volunteer
Tell him that you want passion...Tell him that your body aches for him...Tell him that your vagina need filling...You need oral sex....You need to be made to feel like a woman...

I think that as you age, you are finding that you want more sex....Your body craves this and I believe this is why you are sexually awaken....Tell your husband that you must have these things or you will leave the marriage....Tell him what is in your heart....Believe me, I have been married many years and I sure tell my husband....Make love to your husband as he makes love to you...Find new things to do....Go to his office and if it is private, seduce him....Men love this...

I sure hope that this helps...

Caroline
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replied February 16th, 2009
its healing
dear caroline,
hi,
thanks for your reply. i got it. in fact i told him so many times ,,,but he says i am crazy or i have toooooo much time to think about all this.....i also do job but my job is not like his job,,,he remains busy in doing allaballah.....
when i talk about leaving him, he becomes soooooooooooooooooosad , some times start weeping,,,,i cant bear it.
anyhow , i will tell him again with more true feelings,,,,,lets see if he changes or not...
thanks for your kindness and concern to me.
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replied February 16th, 2009
Community Volunteer
Dear Mona:

How old is he?...Is he older than you are?....How about his sexual prowess?....Is he a good lover or more reserved?....If he is older he may be experiencing his own mid-life crisis....Worrying about satisfying a younger and beautiful wife....I will await your reply...

Honey, I will help anyway that I can.....
Caroline
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replied February 16th, 2009
sounds like he wants everything his way and doesnt realise your feelings are as important as his. you really do not sound happy and if he is unwilling to make an effort to make you happy why should you do all of his demands.
I think the ultimatum is in order, tell him to start doing things for you and make you happy again or leave him, he may cry but you have to look after number 1. It sounds like you have tried at this marriage and he hasnt so its his turn!
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replied February 17th, 2009
hi,
he is only 3 years older than me. i am 37. and he is not reserved type but not romantic too. because we never celebrated any function , birthdays, wedding ceremonies, or any othr occasion in any way. he had never enough time, and he has no time too....i can see,sometimes he is free of work but he would prefer to spend it on doing something els means other than sex,,,,,,and he always say that he is an old guy now , so i shoudl not expect any thing ,,,'
when he was young he was jut the same like he is now............
just before marriage he assured my that he would love me more than any other....and did many nice things to me...and i was caught...after marriage he forgot ,,,,
i am really tired now by sucking ,,,,
and it sucks me now.
thanks .
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replied February 17th, 2009
Community Volunteer
I was thinking he was a lot older than you....If you are unhappy, leave him...You have a long and wonderful life ahead....In my opinion, you are just starting to grow into your hottest sexual years...Maybe this is the reason for your restless spirit right now...It is not bad, it is good....You only live once....Make every minute count....He sounds like he is making himself an old man before his time so why fight it....

If he can't remember his promises to love you and does not satisfy you, then find your own happiness wherever it may be....

Good luck,
Caroline
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replied February 17th, 2009
LEAVE HIM!!!!! this is emotional abuse!!!
Don't waste anymore time giving in to his demands. Get out of the marriage and be free. I know it's easier said than done but do you really want to spend the rest of your life feeling like this????
I hope you fing true happiness.xxx
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replied February 17th, 2009
Experienced User
When a man love a woman!
When a man loves a woman, he will do anything in his power to keep her satisified. When a man loves a woman, he will see to her being happy. When a man loves a woman, he will not be selfish, but will make love to her the way she wants it, when she wants it, and how she wants it. He will give her good oral sex anytime she wants it. You are only 37 years old and you deserves better things in life than what he's giving you! Time waits on no one, get out there and find yourself a real man while time is on your side. As you get older, it will become harder to get someone of your choice; the time is now while you are young and attractive! Get rid of that 0, and get yourself a HERO, and live happy thereafter!
bo21
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replied February 18th, 2009
thanks really
hi,
thanks to all.
i have many pains in my heart,,,,one thing i would liek to share,,
i have been sucking his ....and always gave him oral before love making,,,and i sued to dance for him for long hours,,,he always said he like to watch,,,but after long hours watching,,,,he slept ,,paying no attention to me!and i continued to please him for 13 years......then i stopped as got nothing after it...no kiss , no hug.
one day he said to me that i dont know how to dance, he said i only jump. he was very serious in saying this. i know i can dance, like indian dancers cos i won many prizes in my college life. but thsi indication of my hubby was enough to prove that he never ever watched me even!
i ussually dance keeping my back to him. so i nver noticed he was looking at me or not. ,,,,,,,,it hurt me ,,,,so deeply ,,u cant imagine.
like this many things...when i do for him,,after that he says good. thats it.
sometimes makes love but once in a blue moon....
i feel pity on me ....sometimes i think all guys after marriage are like my hubby....so there would not be any difference....
thanks
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replied February 18th, 2009
Experienced User
mei3na4,
Have you had any boyfriends prior to marrying this jerk? If so" did you make love to them? Did they treat you the way your huband is treating you (sex slave) Do you know how to be loved? In your last post, you stated that you have been sucking his.... What that means? Does it means that you have been sucking his penis or his a**? You don't have to do that to be loved! Honey" free yourself from this kind of situation before it is too late! I look to hear from you soon.
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replied February 18th, 2009
Community Volunteer
bo21 wrote:
mei3na4,
Have you had any boyfriends prior to marrying this jerk? If so" did you make love to them? Did they treat you the way your huband is treating you (sex slave) Do you know how to be loved? In your last post, you stated that you have been sucking his.... What that means? Does it means that you have been sucking his penis or his a**? You don't have to do that to be loved! Honey" free yourself from this kind of situation before it is too late! I look to hear from you soon.


I think she has made it plain that she has engaged in oral sex with him and it is not necessary for her to explain it further nor answer your personal questions....
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replied February 18th, 2009
Experienced User
CarlineEF,
I apologize from the bottom of my heart! After all, the questions are not my
personal questions, they are out in the open on this forum! Again, I am sorry and I will not response to this topic every again, please accept my apologize, and I will not comment on this topic anymore!!!!
bo21
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replied February 18th, 2009
Community Volunteer
bo21 wrote:
CarlineEF,
I apologize from the bottom of my heart! After all, the questions are not my
personal questions, they are out in the open on this forum! Again, I am sorry and I will not response to this topic every again, please accept my apologize, and I will not comment on this topic anymore!!!!
bo21


Your questions were far too personal to this 37 year old woman on this Topic....Feel free to post on the Forum.....
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replied February 18th, 2009
i make it clear
i never had a boy friend before marriage,,in our society having boyfriend before marriage is not allowed.
yestarday , my husband said to me that he loves me from his heart but he could not fufill my demands on bed. he said he will not force me to do any thing i dont like.
,,,,,,,,,,,i dont know what to do? should i sacrifice my sexual desires for his love in heart........or what ,,,
thanks.
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replied February 18th, 2009
Extremely eHealthy
Cast him aside, specifically use the words "you are the weakest link goodbye."

Sex is a two sided issue, no offense but if one won't go down on you, don't give in to his whims, be strong hun. I would have kicked him out months ago a sexless relationship is an automatic over and done with, without valid pretenses of course.

Hunny you are not a servant and trust me if you look you could probably find a guy who would respect you as well have kick butt sex. Respect should be versatile!

Good luck!
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replied February 19th, 2009
thanks again
Dear Caroline
hi,
i am thankful to you from the core of my heart. ....you are great, more than any one beside me...cos i could not share such feelings with anyone who knows me....
i started doing masturbate when just afer 4years of marriage..,, so it helps a lot...
sometimes i feel i will have to rely on masturbate only in future....
i dont know my husband could give me oral sex or not.....cos he is very busy...he has no sexual problem,,,i think,,,
he wil never use his finger,,,,and he would say i could erect his 0 and make love while lying on the bed or sleeping. i mean he says every thing in sex,,i have to do for him,,and its enough for him that he will ejaculate.
this is his routine,,, ,,,i think he will not be changed,,,,
but he said he will change hisself ,,,he asked me what iwant ,,,when i say i want warm up, cudling,,,kiss etc,,,he asked me how ,,,? so its again confusion , how cAN I SAY WHAT I WANT ?
thanks once again for reading all this.
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