Hi Matea, there are others that feel the same. I have bipolar and my episodes get more sever with he depression side I think, then the mania, even though they're mixed. I'm here to talk if you want, but, you should also talk to a doctor, or seek counseling. Which is better then trying to find answers online. Don't get me wrong, they're are people on here who can give you some great tips, but a professional is always a better answer. Take care!