Hi Nuran,
No Nuran, all fatness is not inherited. The first step in losing weight is to be serious about it. It seems you are. The comment about suicidal thoughts...just remember suicide is a permant solution to a temporialy problem.
Now, lets get you healthy and happy. First, increase your engery output. The way you do that is to walk, swim, cardio, something you like for 45 to 60 minutes a day, 6 days a week. Stop drinking sugary drinks such as kool-aide, sodas,(to include diet sodas), no candy, cookies, potato chips, unless they are baked, Not fried. No fried foods. Read the label on Everything you eat. If it contains more than 10% sugar leave it alone. If it contains alot of sodium,(salt) leave it. If it contains artifical sweetner, leave it. Beware of the hidden traps...words like futcose, alcohol sugar, saturated fat etc... these are only empty calories and are unheathy. Start a journal and write down everything you eat yes Everything, even a stick of gum. If a product says sugar free, It has sugar, Read the Label.
On the very front cover of your journal, I want you to write these words in Big Bold Print, "THIS IS MY LIFE AND I'M TAKING IT BACK." On the first page of the journal write this, " The Longest Journey Begin with the First Step." Write down how much you currently weigh then put away the scale. You won't need it again until you have lost 3 dress sizes...yes 30 pounds. You will know when your clothes began to need a safety pin to hold them up....no scale is needed to tell you that.
Drink lots of water, (not the flavored water), it has calories even if it says it doesn't. If you like put a few drops of lemon juice in plain water, lemon is a appitite suppressant. Eat plenty of fresh fruit and vegetables. Eat baked, broiled or boiled chicken, fish, turkey or lamb NO pork. Snack as often as you like but only fruits, nuts vegetables, tuna fish, w/o the mayo. Toss out any and all sugar foods. Only naturally sweeten food and snacks like rasins, prunes, apples, oranges, etc.
Once you have lost the first 10 pounds your engery and self-confident will soar. Don't worry if you eat something you shouldn't just write it in your journal and stay with it. If you would like me to help see you through this jouney, write me and I will be happy to. Just click on the red rose of my profile and click on my contact info.
Good Luck,
Faded Rose