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Father And Son

i'm a 49 year old father. my wife and I adopted two children several years ago. Now one is in jail and now I'm having problems with the other. I recently discovered my son was taking drugs such as weed, pain killers and acid.
He said I can drug test him at anytime so I did..he failed. Now he hates me hes 17 years old going to be 18 next month and wants to move in with his 17 year old girlfriend and her family and they agree to have him.

I stated I will keep him on my insurance until he graduates high school however, he will have to pay all the co-pays for his dr.visits and prescriptions.

He has no job, has no money, I pay for his cell phone I took it away for it was being used for drug trafficing. I took his car away because he was geting high before and after school.

As you see are relationship is probably over. I see no hope at all for us and its killing me little by little. I love him so and he was like my best friend. Does anybody have any good advice?
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replied January 22nd, 2011
Community Volunteer
You must start operating from the the head and not from the heart. Your son needs to be given more tough love as you have been giving him. What do you know about his biological parents. He may be having some genitic astributes. Was his bio mother or father drug abusers? The kid just may be prone to this kind of behavior. Please don't blame yourself. It is quite admirable that you would adopt these kids and give them such love...it is often very regretable that you don't get what you give to kids, be it adopted or your own birth children. When he turns 18 give him the option of joining the military or setting him up in his own appartment providing he take full responsibility in paying his own way. You will no longer pay for his cell phone, or any of his bills, he will have to get 2 jobs and stand on his own two feet, if he chose to no do so...wipe your hands of it all...he is no longer your responsibility.

Good Luck
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