i have been in lesbian relationships most of my life including a failed marriage with a woman. we separated and i moved to a new state and while here i was with 3 girls including the girl i am currently with. i have fallin asleep giving oral but never the other way around. i am a pretty strict top but in this relationship its pretty mutual. my drive is not nearly as high as it usually is. i am currently taking meds for cholesterol and hb and neuropathy. i dont know if its me or the meds or if it her. its pleasurable but i am not able to achieve orgasm very easily, i am used to self help including during my 7 year marriage.
Tell and show her how you like it. Harder, faster, different place or whatever. She cannot read your mind. Even though she is also a woman, she is doing for you what she likes herself, or what her previous partner liked. You need to help her understand you.
If you need to help yourself, or use a vibrator dildo during sex.