hmm...i think first of all you do have some self confidence problems..i think you realize that as well...do something for yourself..if you aren't happy with your weight go to the gym..it'll help with your depression as well since working out releases endorphines..sort of a natural high your body gets and you feel good

as for the phone thing...i will say that if this is a new development then yes there could be something fishy goin on...this is just from my personal experience...my boyfriend and i have been dating just over 2 years now, but just after a year into our relationship he started getting weird and possessive about his phone..as you said..which he NEVER was before...so..i snooped...couldn't take the weird behavior anymore...well...found out he was sending some really inappropriate messages to a coworker of his...i was LIVID...we nearly broke up, and honestly to this day i still have a few trust issues with him...he never cheated on me, him and the girl never even hung out(i had actually put her number in my phone and texter her later about what he was up to)but he knows that what he was doing was out of line and inappropriate...we worked through things, and since he never did cheat on me i let it slip but told him if i was ever disrespected like that again then it was over..i dont send that crap to guys so he has absolutely no business texting this chick..ugh..thinking about it now absolutely infuriates me...anyway..things are much better now..i trust him...he knows if he ever did anything i would most definitely find out about it sooner or later...and things would be over this time..i refuse to be in a relationship with a man that i gotta keep tabs on..i dont wanna worry everytime he walks out of the house worrying about where he's goin or who hes with...i got my own crap to keep up with...

anyway..while i dont encourage the snooping..i don't believe in staying in a relationship thats fake..for me, my gut feeling was right..my bf was being inappropriate...and i'm glad i found out..and i'm glad i put my foot down and we worked through it...theres really no way of knowing why your boyfriend is being the way he is...it could be the fact that bc you dont trust him he's being weird about his phone...maybe you really have nothing to worry about...but no one here can answer that for you...

My question is it right for you go through his personal things if he is only a boyfriend? Do you have a right to check out his compture, his emails, his phone? Even if he is being suspcisious with his phone, you do not have the right to go through his things.

If you did that to me, even if I was or was not doing anything bad, the relationship would be over there and then. What you did was just as bad as him cheating IMO.

So, becareful. But being overly protective of a cell phone is a pretty sure sign of cheating.

Well see I understand the whole "don't go through his phone because its wrong...BUT he does go through my phone, and I let him because I dont have anything to hide, but he wont let me go through his when he is done with mine. And yes I definetly have self confidence issues. I was the pretty skinny girl before I got pregnant and now I am not. Its hard for me to grasp. I went to weight watchers and am on diet pills. But another part that I left out, is when he does actually come home, all he does is want to have sex, and then roll over and go to sleep. Very rarely does he want to spend actual time with me, unless its on the weekend and he wants to go to the bar...or a strip club. Yes he takes me to the bar with him and he doesnt go to the strip club but everytime we fight he brings up that he'll go to the strip club and see what girls are working. He used to be a bouncer in this same strip club, and dated most of the girls there (well I wouldn't say dated) So now he threatens me all the time. My question really was is he being like this because my insecurities are driving him away, or is he really just trying to find ways to break up, or is he cheating???

I disagree with Makoto. I'm sorry to say this but change in phone behaviour is usually one of the sure signs of cheating. And in general it sounds like he's being very disrespectful with you.

You should try couples therapy but first of all check his phone before things get any worse. If he gets angry with you about privacy with his phone don't let that overpower you, fidelity is more important. Yes you were already insecure and paranoid but he's only giving you more reasons to be so.