Truthfully, the only thing I can personally come up with here is perhaps there is something in your past that you have not reached closure with yet. ei...have not gotton over, just thought you have. When indeed it is still fresh in your mind and you subconsiously don't want to let it go. Try real hard to think back. A death? A relationship break-up? Or just a bad experience.

Carrie

I am exactly the same way! it's never really been too big of an issue for me though, being so over emotional over everything, until recently. I think it's begining to effect my relationship with my boyfriend which is the absolute last thing I want. I know I make him feel really guilty sometimes because I cry so much over little things that I don't even want to cry over and I can't stop myself. And I totally know what you mean about the throat tightening making it hard to stop. I am going to make an appointment with my doctor because I know that something must be wrong because most people can control their emotions and I need to gain control before it ruins my life. I think it could be linked to anxiety or maybe I just need to make some changes in my life style. I did some research on it and I kept reading that there are pills you can take that can make you more laid back so that you don't react so much over small situations and this thing called behavioral therapy. I also read that by taking medicine and the therapy could make it completely go away. The only thing is that I hate the idea of being on medication.. but I feel like if it is going to help improve how I react to situations and my life, then it is definately worth a chance. But my first step is to see a doctor and I suggest you do the same. :]

I have faced this my whole life. It is not trauma or anxiety based, but physical - I cry at sweet and sentimental things as much as anxiety-producing situations. My grandmother had the same problem, but I don't think any of my other family members have it. I am in a virtually all male profession and it makes me so ashamed when I cry.

I have been on an anti-depressant (SSRI) for several years, and it has really helped. However, I have been experimenting with coping mechanisms such as regular exercise and heavy structure, and am reducing the SSRI dosage. (I have no big problem with it, but it is expensive, I have to get my prescription refilled in person, and is just inconvenient compared to taking nothing.) But the crying is absolutely 100% controlled with an SSRI and may be the reason I stay on it.

It is hard to explain because I really don't think the crying is caused by depression, but I think they are interrelated. There is so much we don't know about how SSRIs work for depression and the results for me have been subtle, but the medicine is a total cure for crying.

You need to talk to a doctor about this because it is affecting your quality of life. Depression doesn't necessarily mean pessimism and if you work with someone knowledgeable, you may find that you do have an underlying chemical imbalance that can be improved with a low level of medication.

The important thing to remember is that it is not a character flaw! It is a complex, genetically influenced trait that you will have to ultimately decide to live with or correct. It can be hard for family to understand - I can remember my mother telling me not to be so sensitive, and me crying and saying "I know, I don't want to be!!!" But keep trying and good luck.

Ever think it may be simply learned behavior?
When we are children we all cry over the simplest things. Boy cry, girls cry.
The real difference comes down to how we are raised (trained if you will). Boys learn early on that it is completely not acceptable to cry about everything. As a boy if you cry too much you end up with no friends, no respect and no excuses; this extends into manhood.
On the other hand, girls are taught it is moderately acceptable to cry; after all ,�?�¢??You are a girl�?�¢??! I have heard this so many times it makes my sick. What really amazes me is that many woman say it! Can they not see it is slap in the face insult to all woman?
�?�¢??You are a girl, so we better lower the bar for you�?�¢??.???

I have 3 daughters and they have all been through this to some degree. What we (my wife and I) decided was we would try not to placate this behavior but rather teach them coping mechanisms to stop losing control all the time. These mechanisms were as simple as breath 10 times deeply before continuing to speak, meditation, more physical activity, positive affirmations (telling yourself when not upset that whatever happens today etc.. is not the end of the world and you will be ok regardless of most of the outcomes of any given situation), stop taking yourself so seriously, and most importantly do not make excuses why you cry. Finally, if (like any thing in life) you continue to make no effort to improve and thereby causing everyone to stress out as they listen to your overblown tirades you will be grounded to your room until you can learn to calm yourself down.

Being a girl is not a get out of jail free card. If a man came to my work and cried (as I have seen bright, competent grown woman do) he would be so ostracized he would need to get another job. The point is, you are not crying because there is something wrong with you. You are crying because you have been trained to do so (and at some level you accept it far more than any man would be allowed to) and never really put the time in (yet) to learn how to stop.

Man1234, I totally agree with your comment. I had never thought about that before. You make a great point that we were allowed to cry as a young child, and that it is more socially acceptable for women to.. and that doesn't mean anything to you because both men and women should be treated equally, with everything.

I notice that I begin to cry during fun things I rarely get to do (i know this will sound random but..) like going to the aquarium and seeing a show put on by a sea lion and his trainer, because it reminds me of how beautiful nature is and how much i forget that. This also happens during bad things, but I cry a lot less when things go wrong.

But next time I come across a situation I will re-think everything.

Thanks man1234 for a new perspective.

I disagree, man1234. As I child I was not allowed to cry, and I am still an emotional wreck. I for one do not get out of things any easier by crying. On the contrary, I am ashamed. My parents never let me get away with crying, nor did I expect to. When I cried when I was in trouble, my parents gladly raised the angry hand and told me "I'll give you something to cry about."

It seems that crying is just an uncontrollable mechanism that hits me whenever anything is slightly overwhelming, good or bad. Actually, life is harder for me because I cry so much. No one takes you seriously after a while because they think you are trying to get out of everything.

Yes, women get away with cryig more than men do. But men get away with many other things as well. Such as higher salaries, bad hygeine, vulgarity, and even scratching genitals in public. As GIRLS, we were taught it is obscene and unladylike for us to even burp. So I would appreciate if you didn't demean women before you analyzed the entire situation. The bar might be lowered for us when it comes to crying, but it's only to make up for all the bars lowered for men.

I don't mean to sound sexist, but I feel it is the only resaonable response to such an abrupt and undeveloped attack.

IN FACT, EXCESSIVE CRYING is more prevalent in women because of our heightened estrogen levels. We are more prone to tears because that's just the way our bodies react to certain situations. In men, their testosterone levels manifest their mechanisms. That's why men are more prone to violence.

It's all about how the brain interacts with the chemical levels produced in the body. It makes sense if you think about. There's really nothing you should do about it. That's the way your body is made in particular. Don't worry about it. =] Excessive crying made my life a little bit more of a challenge, but hey, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.