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excessive crying (Page 1)

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Hi, this is my first post.

I can't for the life of me understand if this problem is physical or mental or a combination of both. I also don't know if it's a problem or some sort of coping mechanism I've developed.

I cry and get upset over the smallest of things. And I don't want to either. I try to stop myself but I immediately get the tightness in my throat. My eyes get very watery and I would like to add that TONS of tears come out. That's why it's so hard to control it, so many tears come out.

Examples of small things I've cried about are when the food cooked isn't anything I particularly like, or if I'm talking to my grandparents, even if it's about nothing bad I cry, talking to the doctor I cry, again just talk, no serious health problems to discuss. I cry when I get mildly scolded by my parents or when talking to teachers. I can't think of really how to describe it, but I know that 8 out of the 10 situations I cry about I shouldn't be. I cry almost once everyday, just writing this is making my throat tighten.

It is interfering with my life, my family has noticed it and think I do it, but the thing is no matter how hard I try, I can't control the tightness in the throat followed by the tears. I don't understand why I'm crying this much, and it's happened for a couple of years, didn't really recognize when it first started. I do feel better after I've had a good cry, but this is really unnecessary.

I don't think it's depression, as I'm interested in life, I'm happy most of the time. I do get a lot of stress and anxiety and paranoia though. I also think I have some degree of social anxiety plus I'm anemic and I do believe I have nighttime bruxism, if this is any help.

Thank you in advace
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First Helper User Profile chelseas
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replied July 2nd, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
Hi
Truthfully, the only thing I can personally come up with here is perhaps there is something in your past that you have not reached closure with yet. ei...have not gotton over, just thought you have. When indeed it is still fresh in your mind and you subconsiously don't want to let it go. Try real hard to think back. A death? A relationship break-up? Or just a bad experience.

Carrie
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replied October 26th, 2013
I cry at stupid stuff too or things that I think most people do not cry over. I notice I cry when I get super pissed because I cant scream and toss something so I cry...its embarassing
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replied May 17th, 2009
hey!
I am exactly the same way! it's never really been too big of an issue for me though, being so over emotional over everything, until recently. I think it's begining to effect my relationship with my boyfriend which is the absolute last thing I want. I know I make him feel really guilty sometimes because I cry so much over little things that I don't even want to cry over and I can't stop myself. And I totally know what you mean about the throat tightening making it hard to stop. I am going to make an appointment with my doctor because I know that something must be wrong because most people can control their emotions and I need to gain control before it ruins my life. I think it could be linked to anxiety or maybe I just need to make some changes in my life style. I did some research on it and I kept reading that there are pills you can take that can make you more laid back so that you don't react so much over small situations and this thing called behavioral therapy. I also read that by taking medicine and the therapy could make it completely go away. The only thing is that I hate the idea of being on medication.. but I feel like if it is going to help improve how I react to situations and my life, then it is definately worth a chance. But my first step is to see a doctor and I suggest you do the same. :]
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replied July 7th, 2009
Excessive Crying
I have faced this my whole life. It is not trauma or anxiety based, but physical - I cry at sweet and sentimental things as much as anxiety-producing situations. My grandmother had the same problem, but I don't think any of my other family members have it. I am in a virtually all male profession and it makes me so ashamed when I cry.

I have been on an anti-depressant (SSRI) for several years, and it has really helped. However, I have been experimenting with coping mechanisms such as regular exercise and heavy structure, and am reducing the SSRI dosage. (I have no big problem with it, but it is expensive, I have to get my prescription refilled in person, and is just inconvenient compared to taking nothing.) But the crying is absolutely 100% controlled with an SSRI and may be the reason I stay on it.

It is hard to explain because I really don't think the crying is caused by depression, but I think they are interrelated. There is so much we don't know about how SSRIs work for depression and the results for me have been subtle, but the medicine is a total cure for crying.

You need to talk to a doctor about this because it is affecting your quality of life. Depression doesn't necessarily mean pessimism and if you work with someone knowledgeable, you may find that you do have an underlying chemical imbalance that can be improved with a low level of medication.

The important thing to remember is that it is not a character flaw! It is a complex, genetically influenced trait that you will have to ultimately decide to live with or correct. It can be hard for family to understand - I can remember my mother telling me not to be so sensitive, and me crying and saying "I know, I don't want to be!!!" But keep trying and good luck.
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replied October 24th, 2013
This is something I too have dealt with my whole life. If someone says something that is hurtful to me I can't stop it, the tears come out. If I care about that person, it has to be something that I feel , but if I feel it a little it brings on tears. I cried in a Dillards interview because she said her mom died. I cried cause my eggs benedict came with regular instead of canadian bacon. It is insane. It makes people not be able to take me seriously because it happens too often. I took prozac for years, it made me have no memory or past anything but yes the tears stopped. Kind of just blah and felt like it didn't help my sex life. Now I am off prozac .....I have a shrink telling me they think I am bi-polar and these are fits or whatever.....I have no idea but I am afraid to go back on prozac to stop the crying as I read that can actually make bipolar worse if I do have it. Thinking back, maybe that is why I didn't like the prozac but hell I can't remember. A journal is best to try to get a grip on what is and is not working.
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replied July 22nd, 2009
Crying
Ever think it may be simply learned behavior?
When we are children we all cry over the simplest things. Boy cry, girls cry.
The real difference comes down to how we are raised (trained if you will). Boys learn early on that it is completely not acceptable to cry about everything. As a boy if you cry too much you end up with no friends, no respect and no excuses; this extends into manhood.
On the other hand, girls are taught it is moderately acceptable to cry; after all ,�?�¢??You are a girl�?�¢??! I have heard this so many times it makes my sick. What really amazes me is that many woman say it! Can they not see it is slap in the face insult to all woman?
�?�¢??You are a girl, so we better lower the bar for you�?�¢??.???

I have 3 daughters and they have all been through this to some degree. What we (my wife and I) decided was we would try not to placate this behavior but rather teach them coping mechanisms to stop losing control all the time. These mechanisms were as simple as breath 10 times deeply before continuing to speak, meditation, more physical activity, positive affirmations (telling yourself when not upset that whatever happens today etc.. is not the end of the world and you will be ok regardless of most of the outcomes of any given situation), stop taking yourself so seriously, and most importantly do not make excuses why you cry. Finally, if (like any thing in life) you continue to make no effort to improve and thereby causing everyone to stress out as they listen to your overblown tirades you will be grounded to your room until you can learn to calm yourself down.

Being a girl is not a get out of jail free card. If a man came to my work and cried (as I have seen bright, competent grown woman do) he would be so ostracized he would need to get another job. The point is, you are not crying because there is something wrong with you. You are crying because you have been trained to do so (and at some level you accept it far more than any man would be allowed to) and never really put the time in (yet) to learn how to stop.
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replied July 29th, 2009
Experienced User
Man1234, I totally agree with your comment. I had never thought about that before. You make a great point that we were allowed to cry as a young child, and that it is more socially acceptable for women to.. and that doesn't mean anything to you because both men and women should be treated equally, with everything.

I notice that I begin to cry during fun things I rarely get to do (i know this will sound random but..) like going to the aquarium and seeing a show put on by a sea lion and his trainer, because it reminds me of how beautiful nature is and how much i forget that. This also happens during bad things, but I cry a lot less when things go wrong.

But next time I come across a situation I will re-think everything.

Thanks man1234 for a new perspective.
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replied August 12th, 2009
I disagree, man1234. As I child I was not allowed to cry, and I am still an emotional wreck. I for one do not get out of things any easier by crying. On the contrary, I am ashamed. My parents never let me get away with crying, nor did I expect to. When I cried when I was in trouble, my parents gladly raised the angry hand and told me "I'll give you something to cry about."

It seems that crying is just an uncontrollable mechanism that hits me whenever anything is slightly overwhelming, good or bad. Actually, life is harder for me because I cry so much. No one takes you seriously after a while because they think you are trying to get out of everything.

Yes, women get away with cryig more than men do. But men get away with many other things as well. Such as higher salaries, bad hygeine, vulgarity, and even scratching genitals in public. As GIRLS, we were taught it is obscene and unladylike for us to even burp. So I would appreciate if you didn't demean women before you analyzed the entire situation. The bar might be lowered for us when it comes to crying, but it's only to make up for all the bars lowered for men.

I don't mean to sound sexist, but I feel it is the only resaonable response to such an abrupt and undeveloped attack.

IN FACT, EXCESSIVE CRYING is more prevalent in women because of our heightened estrogen levels. We are more prone to tears because that's just the way our bodies react to certain situations. In men, their testosterone levels manifest their mechanisms. That's why men are more prone to violence.

It's all about how the brain interacts with the chemical levels produced in the body. It makes sense if you think about. There's really nothing you should do about it. That's the way your body is made in particular. Don't worry about it. =] Excessive crying made my life a little bit more of a challenge, but hey, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
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replied June 20th, 2010
Crying in general
Epycurean1809, you are an emotional wreck because you weren't allowed to cry and now your system is backing up emotionally and it is coming out in all the wrong ways. To the orifinal topic... Crying is a great stress reliever but excessive crying can indicate an issue with not your past but with the way your brain perceives the present. Girls are aloud to cry because women are "expected" to be the emotional part of any relationnship, unfortunately that's not the way it should be. Boys are not taught to cry since back in olden times, men were supposed to be strong. Sincce then showing a sensitive side in guys is a weakness. That's why Men aren't supposed to cry
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replied August 2nd, 2010
same problem with me
hi ! dear i am exactly like you.. i thought i am the only person behaving like this ...thank god their are many like me..when so much people like us have this kind of problem then i think it must be called spmething in medical terms...it must be some kind of syndrome...!! my parents love me so much, i have got world's best parents. i have a big circle of good and caring friends..i thank god that everything in life is good for me still i am not happy from inside ... i dont know why? the person i am going to marry is also very sweet and kind hearted ... i am always blessed by good elders who care for me.. and god also always help me wen i am in pain..
but still very little things make me cry and tighten my throat...
excess crying also make my eyes dull,dry and painful.. i also have dark circles due to this...!! my eyes are day by day becomming weak..and because of this crying face also looks bad... any face will look bad wen unhappy..god knows what kind of problem is this..
i always think that i should not cry and now i am not a kid i am a grown up girl so i should learn to be strong .. i always try not to cry on unnnecessary things.. my dad never scolded me but even if he says a word against me i get emotional... i am over emotional and i really want to get rid of it....!!! i think meditation would help people like us suffering from this kind of problem...!!!
gud luck...
today i am very happy to know that i am not only person who has this kind of problem... thanks to all of you for sharing ur problems..
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replied August 2nd, 2010
Crying is shedding tears as a response to an emotional state in humans.Though crying is infant's way of communication.
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replied March 5th, 2011
Nice one Sranya2010, keeping it simple and not judged. Crying as physical reaction to an emotional state.

Though I have called crying my "inside shower," and it cleans my slate for a while, I would agree with all above that excessive REACTION of any type would be symptomatic of a problem. Crying itself is not the problem, just like a fart is not a problem unless you have it going on all of the time-- Then you would want to look to see why the imbalance.
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replied September 10th, 2011
too many tears
I am the very same way. I actually got fired from a job once because of it. When I get the slightest bit frustrated my eyes well up with tears. the manager told me i needed to stop letting that happen. but i tried so hard. i told myself just dont just dont let it happen and they still came. i told myself whatever was frustrating me was not a big deal. i understood that and believed it. yet i still cried. it's awful. i thought i was the only one that was like this. clearly it is not learned because learned behaviors are hard to change because the person is still gaining SOMETHING from them. I've gone over and over this in my head and I have yet to think of ANYTHING that I gain from crying at unnecessary times. i'm very ashamed of it and i want to change it but i don't know how. i'm actually a mental health professional and i'm very good at what i do, but i've never seen this probably in anyone else. it worries me that i'm not strong enough. but i am a strong person. i don't know. i used to think i was just overly sensitive but more recently i've been really focusing on doing whatever it takes to stop it from happening and i continue to fail. there are other things that are strange that i can't seem to figure out either. certain sounds really really get to me. they make me feel like i'm going to explode and my heart starts racing and i feel like if it is a sound someone else is making that i might yell at them (sometimes i do) and sometimes the fact that i can't make the sound stop makes me cry too. it's not quite the same as the other stuff. but it's really hard on me. its not because i have low self esteem...i have low self esteem because of it. i actually think i'm a great person at heart and have a lot to offer. but this is a big obstacle. i anyone has made any progress with this please share. i'd be very grateful.
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replied February 24th, 2012
na
I take medication my doctor prescribed me
called "nortriptyline." It helps with depression and mild anxieties. Maybe this will help if you mention it to your health care provider. of course then there's also therapy.
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replied February 29th, 2012
Holy mackerel there is someone else out there like me. I've had this issue since childhood, possibly since birth because I can recall exhibiting this behavior as one of my earliest memories (bursting into tears at my own birthday party just because people were looking at me.) I don't think it's a learned response, because how then could my sister, raised by the same parents who should have had at least similar styles in raising us since we were only 18 months apart, be so totally different? She is practically on the other end of the spectrum emotions wise--she rarely cries. I am exactly like the OP and Lserpett--it is 100% involuntary and always has been, and the only way to avoid it is to never experience the stimuli, which is hard because just about everything is stimuli. I know there is an emotional, mental component (yes, I have depression and yes I am a sensitive and emotional person), but it often feels like just an extremely unpleasant body function, purely physical like I just have *too many tears* and they can't be kept inside. And it is a snowball effect--the tears HUMILIATE me, making me more upset and more prone to crying. It's an experience I'e spent my whole life dreading and trying desperately to avoid, to the point where I didn't even want a public marriage ceremony because I was horrified at how I'd act and how everyone would think it means I'm an emotional wreck--and the truth is I am not, I'm rarely if ever as "upset" as my tears make me seem.



We are a rare breed. I have only known one other person my whole life with this problem, an old schoolmate. I've done searches on it before, and rarely if ever find anyone else with the same experience. This is saying something, because there are very few things in this world you won't find a load of people commiserating about on the internet--there are support groups for all sorts of quirks or problems, yet this is something you see almost nothing on.

BUT...getting back to Lserpett's post--this is the first time I've seen a fellow hyper-teared person mention the SOUND thing. I have that EXACT same thing, and I've always just thought I was an extremely irritable, intolerant person who needs to get over it, but after all these years, I've come to realize this is another unique characteristic of mine--sound intolerance. Certain sounds drive me crazy. It's so bad I'm constantly perplexed that other people are able to function with that sound. How can our reactions be so different? They don't even notice it, yet it completely distracts and infuriates me? I don't know why it's some sounds and not others--it can be the sound of a dog drinking water and drive me nuts, yet I can hear someone belch and not care. And it's only these certain sounds, or certain types of sounds, it's not that I am just overly sensitive to sounds in general. I think I have above-average hearing but other people can hear these same sounds and not be annoyed by them, so it's not that I'm just hearing stuff others can't. It's similar to how people react to nails on chalkboard, but not exactly, it's almost worse--it seems to bring out involuntary physical reactions in me and there is absolutely nothing I can do to block it out.

I've come to the conclusion that the crying at least is a type of hyper-sensitivity. I know certain antidepressants may help, but I refuse to think that the way I am is "wrong"--it's just different. I would not be the person I am without it, and it cannot be removed from my personality without taking other traits with it.
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replied September 10th, 2011
too many tears
I am the very same way. I actually got fired from a job once because of it. When I get the slightest bit frustrated my eyes well up with tears. the manager told me i needed to stop letting that happen. but i tried so hard. i told myself just dont just dont let it happen and they still came. i told myself whatever was frustrating me was not a big deal. i understood that and believed it. yet i still cried. it's awful. i thought i was the only one that was like this. clearly it is not learned because learned behaviors are hard to change because the person is still gaining SOMETHING from them. I've gone over and over this in my head and I have yet to think of ANYTHING that I gain from crying at unnecessary times. i'm very ashamed of it and i want to change it but i don't know how. i'm actually a mental health professional and i'm very good at what i do, but i've never seen this probably in anyone else. it worries me that i'm not strong enough. but i am a strong person. i don't know. i used to think i was just overly sensitive but more recently i've been really focusing on doing whatever it takes to stop it from happening and i continue to fail. there are other things that are strange that i can't seem to figure out either. certain sounds really really get to me. they make me feel like i'm going to explode and my heart starts racing and i feel like if it is a sound someone else is making that i might yell at them (sometimes i do) and sometimes the fact that i can't make the sound stop makes me cry too. it's not quite the same as the other stuff. but it's really hard on me. its not because i have low self esteem...i have low self esteem because of it. i actually think i'm a great person at heart and have a lot to offer. but this is a big obstacle. i anyone has made any progress with this please share. i'd be very grateful.
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replied October 12th, 2011
hopeless
i dont know whats wrong with me. i have this overwhelming sense of loss and sadness. i cry more than ever. its mostly when i'm alone. i don't know what to do.
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replied February 7th, 2012
Anxiety or?
There has been two occasions that I have cried so much that I would call anxiety attacks. When someone died and a traumatic experience. My legs wouldn't stop shaking and was light headed.
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replied July 6th, 2012
Dude! I'm EXACTLY the same!! Always told I'm just too sensitive and too reactive. I cry at drop of a hat good or bad. I also have the sounds response! Some sounds grate on me so much I feel like I'm going to implode when others just don't care about them. Had fluoxetine - helped with crying a bit but sent me hypomanic so had to come off them - now I'm just coping alone.
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replied September 15th, 2012
Excessive crying
I have always been quite sensitive from a young age. But now I feel my excessive crying is out of control and I cannot stop it. If something bad happens, maybe a disagreement, someone isn't happy with me, getting told off by my parents, feeling useless. I try so hard, tell myself its not a big deal, but end up crying at the most inconvenient places too. Sometimes in restaurants, on the bus, but usually alone. Its really affecting my relationships, with friends, family and my partner. I think they feel that they have to watch what they say, incase i start crying any minute. Or that my tears are wolf tears, and that they shouldn't take them seriously. I really don't want to cry. I don't get angry, my immediate response is to tear it out. Do I need to visit the doctor?
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replied November 7th, 2012
Crying too easily about stuff
Iwas bursting in to tears increasingly about minor things. I was then dagnosed with primary hypothyroidism. Now i take levothyroxine medicine and feel stronger inside. Get your thyroid function checked, blood test at GP. Easy.
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replied November 15th, 2012
depressed over studies
I cry alot. And I hate it because I felt so useless everytime I cry! I cry a lot because of school. I've just entered university and ain't coping with life.

I'm supposed to be doing my lab work with my friends now but I can't concentrate! I feel so inferior as I see my friends so engrossed in discussing the problems. They have already reached question 8 but I'm still stuck at question 3.

I feel very stupid and can't get my brain thinking. I went to the toilet and cried for an hour. FInally I left the lab and told them I would work on it the next day. But the deadline is coming and I'm actually very stressed over it.

But I feel that if I'm to see my lab work I would start crying all over again. I don't want to feel like this but I don't know what's wrong with me. I feel very sad. I can't get the idea out of my head that I'm stupid. My mind keep saying over and over again that I can't do my school work because I'm stupid. And I hate it. I hate that second voice in my head.

This has happened many times in the past two months when I would start crying whenever I see homework. I tried to think optimistically but the crying can't stop. It's been affecting my studies. Do I need to seek medical treatment or is there anything else I can do to help myself?
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replied December 24th, 2012
Help please
I have been very very very stressed lately and taking it out on my wife
I have something bugging me alot and I can't seem to let it go.
I just wish I could stop I am ruining our marriage and it is not fair to her
To be honest I just want to die!!
My wife is an amazingly strong person but I fear I am going to lose her
Any advise????
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