I was with my ex for 3 years, we lived together for 2 years of that. He broke up with me after 2 years and I cut all contact with him. He then told me about a month later that he realised what a big mistake he had made and he realised that I was the girl for him. So we decided to try and work things out. The reason he left in the first place was because we were going through a very stressful time. When we got back together his parents refused to have anything to do with me because of an incident that occurred 6 months prior, and that did not have anything to do with us breaking up. So at first things were a bit rocky, but we were working on it and things were getting better. Then exactly 12 months later, almost to the day, he does it again. He told me he doesn't think he loves me enough to be with me. So I told him to get out. Which was a upset about because he didn't want to break up with me. Now I should add here that again it was a stressful time in our lives, and I was taking on a job in the next town over, I was moving on the day he told me he didn't love me enough.
The part that I am confused about is that he tells me he still wants to be friends and sends me text messages calling me his besty, he also has said this to my face. Now I have had to see him a few times to sort some things out, and during these times he tells me he misses me and that he will always love me, and there will always be a special spot for me in his heart, but he doesn't want to be with me. He also wants to sleep with me, and puts this out in the open. He makes excuses to touch me, and always wants to hug me, and not just friendly sort of hugs. We broke up two months ago. He also wants to talk to me about the good times we had together, and tells me of things that have made him think of me. He also calls me beautiful and baby, like he used to when we were together. When I pull him up on this he always says, sorry its a habit. But last time he whispered in my ear that I was beautiful, so doesn't seem like a habit to me.
But last week after I met up with him to give him some of his stuff back, and he wanted to sleep with me, he spends 3 nights with another chick away, this is a girl that he works with but only met 2 weeks ago. He tells me that its nothing now, and she is going away for a few weeks, and he will see what happens when she gets back, he may pursue a relationship with her. At the same time he is telling me that he is going to a family dinner where he will be the only single and says it almost like he is sad about that.
Also I had to drop some more stuff back to him and I told him to come round in a small window of opportunity that I had, he had just made himself some lunch and said he could come later, when I told him that it would have to be now or in a couple weeks, he dropped his lunch and came running. I also had to give him some money for a check I recieved that should of been his, and when I gave him some money is was having tea after work (he works at a pub) and I put the money on the table and walked straight out, he chased me out half way through his tea to say thank you and ask me if I was ok.
But he also says that he does not want to get back together with me and he feels that breaking up was the right thing to do. If I tell him not to contact me he respects that, but if I contact him first then he is right there with an answer.
It just doesn't seem to make any sense to me. Am I reading into it more then is there?? Does his actions make sense to anyone else?? I think he is confused about what he wants and is hurting me in the process. But am I reading more into this because I am still in love with the guy, or is he being clear, because he tells me he doesn't want to be with me.
It sounds like he just wants a booty call. You know, fun on the side. Don't give it to him. He's been with other women and it's not worth risking disease! He doesn't sound like he is ready to settle down.
If you like sex then have sex, but don't have sex with an emotional rollercoaster. There are plenty of fine penises all around you without all that drama. You broke up with him. It doesn't matter what the circumstances were, because hard times will come and go in any relationship and he failed under them. Move forward in your life. If he keeps giving you mixed signals give him a clear one, cut of contact with him.
He doesnt know what he wants and he is dragging you along for the pitty parade.. I know what you're going through believe me, I have been dealing with the "off and on" for 2 years, we've never had a month of not fighting and not talking. Guys are honestly retarded. They don't talk to other guys about their feelings and crap so they just do what they think is right, which never is. Thats the first mistake second is that you need to remove yourself, dont tell him your doing it, but if you are anything like me which i assume you are because your still in love with him, delay your responses to him. You are too there do you know what i mean. He knows you love him and he knows he has you, one word and you'll be back. Guys enjoy challenges, hence why playing games in relationships is so popular.. It wont change ever. So back off from him and slowly allow yourself to start moving on, you dont have to entirely let him go, i never did, but i also didnt close down other options. PM if you need anymore advice about this stuff, as i said, 2 years going strong, for lack of a better word. lol
i've been through five years of a guy being confused! and everything thing he is doing makes perfect sense to me. he is confused, you could be the perfect girl but he wants to see is there anything out there that is better.
i was a plane jane to my ex and he wanted a women that looked like a hooker. so he got it, along with that woman's attitude and life style. now he is crying to me but im through with him and have someone else.
he destroyed me inside for a whole year after our breakup because of his confusing and going back and forth. dont let him do that to you.
if he was deeply in love with you, that's one thing. if he is not he doesnt deserve you not even a conversation. move on!!!!
guy are confusing the best thing to do is dich him completly and move on finde someone who wants to love you and u to love them back. the sort of relationship u have now is not health for you it is playing with your emotions!
I would suggest you end this mess and move on....I was in a similar situation....the person had Borderline Personality Disorder. You do not need to be on an emotional rollercoaster....this person will have difficulty in relationships for the rest of his life just as the person I was involved with.....end it before you become more hurt.....and BTWâ¦..do not keep in contact with this person!