Im going to try and make this as short as possible. My ex and I have been dating for 3 years, long distance. Through all the miles, and money spent on plane tickets, We have overcome so much together. He was such an amazing man, so affectionate, loving, supportive, and kind. From the very beginning, i often questioned his mental health, as he seemed to have a very dark side of him, very pessimistic, and paranoid. My mother is diagnosed bipolar, and has been on meds for years now...I personally know all the red flags and symptoms of bipolar, and a couple of times, when his depression would get bad enough, i would mention him getting help. This of course resulted in major blow ups. He was quite argumentative at times, mostly over nothing. At points, he would get so heated, he would roll into a ball, and rock back and forth...(this is something ive seen my mom do in manic episodes). I got to the point where I knew only he could seek help. Well during our relationship, we have broken up twice before, each time was the remnents of a depressed state he would fall into when he became too stressed, or when i would leave to go back home. but we would always get back together, He would call, and want me back, and I of course, love him, and wanted him, so I took him back. Never once regretting it.
Well this past summer, he came over to the states, from england. And spent 2 months here with my family. We had an amazing time, He told my father this winter he would bring me back over to england, and propose to me. We talked of marriage quite alot, and were very serious about each other. Well the second he got back to england a few months ago...he fell into the worst depression I have ever seen. He divulged to me he was suicidal...which killed me, because even at his worst, the word suicide never crosses his lips. He became withdrawn, reading morbid books, and binge drinking heavier and heavier...sometimes not calling for days on end. Soon after this began, he broke up with me again. saying i deserved better, and he couldnt give me what i wanted, everything he said, was obviously the depression speaking...well two weeks into the break up, he called me, and asked me to take him back, i was a bit hesitant, as i didnt want to be hurt again...but once again, i fell into, because i am completely head over heels, and dedicated to him.
A week later, we were skyping. He was showing me all the photos he had just put up of me in his house, telling me how much he loved me, and asking me to forgive him for the past few months. He kept asking why i loved him, and then out of nowhere...he started freaking out, telling me he couldnt do it anymore, telling me we were never back together, and that i needed to move on.
This was such a blow to my heart. We cut off contact with each other, and about twice he tried intiating contact with me, to say sorry, or ask how i was doing...I called him 2 weeks ago, and told him, i couldnt just be friends with him anymore, as i felt it strange and unusual that he could have loved me for 3 years, only to treat me as a stranger after the fact.
Well within the past month, Myself and one of his good friends have noticed a drastic difference in his personality. Hes always been a pretty clean cut, stylish man, with morals and standards, but all of that has seemed to fly out of the window. he began hanging out with questionable characters, there are photos of him partying with young, nasty girls, hes lost about 20 pounds, got a piercing, and changed his clothing style. he completely has changed every single thing about him, from the music he listens to, to the times he goes to bed at night, if sleeping at all...
His good friend told me that he had been smoking quite a bit of weed, which he maybe has done twice in our whole relationship.
it got to the point, where my friends, family, and coworkers knew something was wrong.
I called him a few nights ago, to ask him if he was ok. It was the scariest thing ever. I asked him about drugs, or binge drinking, and simply, very kindly said i was sorry for cutting contact, and that if he needed me, i would be here. He freaked out on me, started screaming at 800 miles per hour, about a million different things, kept denying ever being hurt within the situation, and told me he was happy "focused and motivated" he kept saying. he also claimed the past 3 years he was living in a dreamland, and that now he can see clearer, and feels less sheltered...i really didnt have much to say, as he would cut me off, and tell me to move on, and find someone else. This was not the man ive known for 3 years. he also claimed that about a month ago, he wanted to seek help because he thought he might be bipolar, but then in quotes "i realized i wasnt bipolar, i just needed to socialize more, i am, and now im great" i kept being strong, and telling him i support him,but he kept denying everything and getting more angry...so i let him hang up the phone on me when he was done yelling.
I havent talked to him since then. I honestly wouldnt even know at this point what to say. My mother, who is bipolar, agrees that he seems to be in a manic phase at this point, not feeling any emotions, not letting any in, being destructive, and cold.
I was wondering if anyone else had any input, anything to make me feel better, any hope? or words of advice? Im so destroyed right now, not only have i lost a relationship, but ive literally lost the man that was in it...will he ever come around again?