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Erotic massage (Page 1)

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OK, I'll start by saying I'm a very shy guy, and can usually go months without sexual contact because of it. I am a very sexual person, I just get very akward about it when the time comes, even though I know I'm attractive, have a great personality, and am quite a catch for a lot of girl. I know I have issues but that's not the point.

My question is is I have never had a full body massage but was curious about it. I'd like to go in and try it because I could really use the stress releif, but am afraid of what might happen. I've had a massage a few times at my cyropractor but when the girl asked what I wanted I was always to shy to take off my pants so just said upper body. I wouldn't mind just a full body massage and found a place offering erotic massage whatever that is and still remains legal, but I'm very nervious about it. If I get erect is that considered offensive? Will she just ignore it? If she doesn't and "massages" it is she doing it thinking I'm going to "tip" her more? If she massages to orgasm or starts with oral am I now in the prostitution area and have to worry about the cops busting in and arresting me? If she grants me a happy ending am I now obligated to pay extra, and how much? You can see my confusion.

I'm not looking for a prostitute by any means and do not expect a happy ending. I seriously just want the massage. I just worry that I might not be able to keep an erection down with a womans hands all over me and if that happens what do I do? What will she do? Do I need to bring extra cash just in case? I'm looking for input from people who have been there. Please set me at ease. Oh, and what are the legal factors for an "erotic" massage. Last thing I want to do is get arrested out of curiousity.

Thanks,

kinome79
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First Helper furrytail
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replied February 6th, 2009
Experienced User
A full body massage is not prostitution
kinome79,
I am a massage therapist and I have many clients that I see on a regular basis and they all receive a full body massage. Yes, I do see their entire naked body, unless they do not want to be nude, in which case a towel is place over the mid-section and I massage around it. Regarding erections, I would have to admit that 95% of the time, when I'm massaging a guy, he gets erect and this does not bother me at all. In fact, I feel a bit flattered by it because I know that he is aroused by looking at me and my touch on his body.
Regarding a stress release - this can occur when massaging over the crotch area and obviously touching/rubbing on the penis and testicles as this will happen and occasionally some of them will ejaculate. Again, this does not bother me as it is a natural part of life. No "extra tips" should be expected or demanded of a customer who has paid for a massage, if this is happening then you should not be there.
Bottom line - the therapist is to respect your limits and ensure that you have a relaxing and theraputic massage.

Hope this helps to answer your question.

Wendy
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Users who thank furrytail for this post: sunair12 

replied January 8th, 2012
is it legal
Is it legal to actualy recieve "massaging over the crotch area and obviously touching/rubbing on the penis and testicles" Or is that crossing over to illegal activity?
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replied January 8th, 2012
Is it legal to actualy recieve "massaging over the crotch area and obviously touching/rubbing on the penis and testicles" Or is that crossing over to illegal activity?
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Thanks for your patience!

replied August 18th, 2013
Furrytail,
Okay let make sure that i have a full and complete understanding, since im wondering as well. Should i ,"if i choose," expect a release in any typical visit? Or it depends on the therapist
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replied February 7th, 2009
That's reassuring to hear. I have read some of your posts though and I'd like also to get the opinion of a massuse who doesn't masturbate old men in there homes, or consider a penis massage normal. I'm sure there are massage theripists who are married, or don't sleep around, or that might be embarassed if a guy turns around and has a huge hard on. I'd more like to hear from guys who have tried this. Please.
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replied February 11th, 2009
Erection during massage is normal
kinome79,

Erection during a massage is normal. Most massage therapists won't think anything of it unless you bring attention to it.

It is also important to remember that massage is not just stress relief. It is also therapy. Many people (myself included) need massage to help manage pain for any number of conditions. For me, it helps to manage my scoliosis.

I would also mention that your reply to furrytail was a bit snippy. She tried to give you an honest and helpful answer and you didn't really thank her. In fact you were kind of disrespectful.
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Users who thank trouble24 for this post: furrytail 

replied February 22nd, 2009
My apologies. I reread and yes, I definitely sound snippy and disrespectful. I didn't mean it as such, I was seriously just looking for other opinions from the less open minded. I guess maybe I need to grow a pair and just go to a massage place and find out for myself. I'm just very awkward when it comes to sex, and get embarrassed about it easily. Guess I was raised in a way that made me feel ashamed of it and I'm still trying to over come it. My shoulders and back get so tense and I'm definitely in need of a massage but I'm still worried about what would happen if I got erect, and then what is expected if she proceeds to solve that problem for me. I'm sorry furrytail.
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replied February 23rd, 2009
Extremely eHealthy
kinome79 wrote:
That's reassuring to hear. I have read some of your posts though and I'd like also to get the opinion of a massuse who doesn't masturbate old men in there homes, or consider a penis massage normal. I'm sure there are massage theripists who are married, or don't sleep around, or that might be embarassed if a guy turns around and has a huge hard on. I'd more like to hear from guys who have tried this. Please.


giggle sry..i thought it was funny

personally, i think that maintaining professionalism means that you are trained to ignore situations such as that..if the guy gets hard..big deal..but you shouldn't offer to whack him off, seriously...some of these men could be married..i gave my boyfriend a massage gift card once and the place was PROFESSIONAL..they keep you completely covered at all times except for the body part they are massaging and let me tell you, if a masseuse were to offer my boyfriend a "happy ending" i wouldn't be too happy..i think its very unprofessional to drag a sexual act into a simple massage...and yes I'm with you, i do believe its a form of prostitution..whats the difference if you get a handjob from a masseuse or from a street walker? absolutely nothing...anyway...hopefully you can find yourself a nice relaxing place that will maintain professionalism...but believe me, its definitely worth it! I got a full body massage once and sex was the last thing on my mind..it was soooo relaxing!
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replied July 15th, 2009
OTOH do massage therapists mind if the client wants to be draped in certain areas? I have horrible looking legs because of venous stasis -- they look red and brown and strange -- it's not contagious but I'd probably prefer that to be draped to avoid freaking the therapist out. Also, my private areas and buttocks I'd prefer to be covered at all times.

Would a therapist mind that? Would the massage be nearly as thorough. I've had upper body massages before and it was heavenly and I was suffused by good will towards man, woman, child, and beast and I'd love that again.
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replied November 17th, 2012
Massage is all about making the client happy and comfortable, if that means you are wrapped up like an anicent egyptian mummy extcept for the area currently being worked on any therapist worth their salt would be more than happy to obligue you. They also won't be "freaked" out by your legs, at most they will ask you if it is okay to work on your legs for fear of causing you pain, if it is red they make think it is sore.
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replied August 21st, 2009
You could also just get a male massuse, and if he tries to beat you off... well I'm just sorry then...
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replied August 21st, 2009
Extremely eHealthy
"Massaging" the genitals is prostitution in every state in America as far as I'm aware. Erotic Massage and Adult Escort are euphemisms for prostitution. Prices for happy endings are arranged in advanced, tipping is expected.
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replied August 24th, 2009
Actually though, this thread is titled 'erotic' not 'therapeutic' massage so if the service is advertised as erotic it probably should call for a happy ending.
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replied August 24th, 2009
Not everyone would mind
CockRocket wrote:
You could also just get a male massuse, and if he tries to beat you off... well I'm just sorry then...


Not everyone would mind a guy trying it on... Wink giggle
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replied October 3rd, 2009
I receive massage on a regular basis . My female therapist has no problem with it . When I first went to her I asked if she would be uncomfortable with me being nude ,not draped and that I was also a nudist whenever possible. I have now been nude for months while she massages me so we are totally comfortable. I seldom get an erection but have on occassion and we regard it as a natural thing. Why should we not be comfortable being nude and being more comfortable?
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replied November 14th, 2010
Erotic and normal massage are two different things. Regarding normal massage, this is entirely non-sexual. It is designed to prevent or repair any muscular problems that you have, or to relax/destress you. Athletes and professional sportsmen will have some form of massage after almost every major training session. So the aim is either health (preventing or repairing injury) or relaxation (reducing muscle stress). I have had well over 100 massages in over 20 countries - and should have had far more if I wasn't a typical bloke and only went to a doctor/physio/massage therapist when I was injured/unwell. With the exception of Austria (where everything seems to be done nude), I have always had a towel placed over my genitals. Occasionally I have been undraped when lying on my front, but generally the towel is moved around to uncover only those areas that the massage therapist is working on.

For what they're worth, my other comments are:

- I have never had a massage where the therapist acted unprofessionally. They have never come on to me, and there has never been a sexual "overtone" to it. Pick a respectable place and you'll never get unrespectable behaviour. If you want unrespectable behaviour, then make sure you pick an unrespectable place - the massage therapist at your local health club won't be too pleased if you ask her for a happy ending.

- I have only had an erection once. The towel was raised high so that my front quadriceps was exposed and my testicles were showing. I tried to avoid it and I was extremely embarrassed. The massage therapist was professional and she did not mention it. After a few seconds, my concentration on football scores from the past two decades solved the problem. Other than this, I have had occasional moments when I have thought frantically to avoid an erection, but this has been a very rare occurence. 90% of the time, I spend massages drifting in and out of sleep. I feel massively relaxed afterwards and it has greatly reduced injuries whenever I have had regular sports massages.

- I have very rarely had to undress in front of the massage therapist. 95% of the time I am left alone in a room to undress and cover myself, and the towel is held like a screen to allow me to turn over. Any glimpsing of genitals is entirely accidental (less than 2%, and only because of unintentional costume malfunction).

- On occasion I have had massages where I have worn underwear, either my own or supplied by the hotel spa. I prefer to be naked but (always) draped, but I always follow, and am comfortable with, the house rules. The only time I have felt uncomfortable was when the massage therapist asked me to put on the 'house underwear' 5 minutes into the massage (i.e. when she realised that I was naked under the draping). I would have been happy to wear the underwear from the start if I had been asked to, but the spa literature clearly stated that the customer should wear as much or as little as they wanted, and the therapist made no mention of it when she first showed me to the room. For the record, I was lying on my front and was not in any way aroused, so it was purely my nudity (under thick towels) that offended her.

- Massage therapists have saved me, and relieved me, from long term, repetitive injury pains. I had a lower back problem (disc on nerve) that led to me being on pain killers for more than 2 years. I have also 'done my back in' several times whilst lifting my children badly or over-estimating my own strength - on each occasion it is good, professional massage that has firstly made the pain bearable, and that has then cured the problem.
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replied December 18th, 2010
Client crossing line during therapeutic massage!
I am an LMT and for the most part 75% of my clients are cancer patients. I am also a Certified Lymphatic Therapist that works with cancer patients who have had swelling of an extremity due to lymph node involvement. I do, however, have a few clients who schedule massage for stress relief/relaxation on a regular basis.

I have had a male client for over 1 1/2 years. In the past few months, he has done things where I continued giving him the "benefit of the doubt" because of the subtlety. Some weeks are without incident. Others not so much.

He is a single man. I am happily married. So when he makes an illicit comment of a sexual nature, I bring the conversation to "how are your kids doing?" or I talk about my husband. This has always taken care of the sexually charged comments he makes. But as time passed, he would seem to "inadvertently" stretch and pull my draping loose on his legs. I felt that he was trying to expose himself. Again, I gave him the benefit of the doubt.

Each week was different. Some weeks were without incident. Others he would say sexually charged things, but would quickly drift off to sleep. Other weeks, he "stretched" more than usual. And always when I was working on his legs and had them properly draped.

But yesterday was different. He started off with a comment, which I just ignored and began the massage. He did ask me prior to his appointment, if I had additional time for him that day because of his back pain. He specifically asked if I had anyone coming in after him. I thought this question was innocent enough. I have known him as a client for quite some time now and although his behavior sometimes aggravated me, I knew if I ignored it, he would stop.

So I agreed to add a half hour to his session as requested.

Half way through the session, he of course "stretched" when I got to his legs. I actually put a bolster under his knees this week so I could get a better tuck on the sheets and maybe prevent any further exposure. He always requests abdominal work too. I have had two instances in which I felt he tried to pull the sheet down below his pelvic area. I don't say anything, again giving him the benefit of the doubt and just readjusting the sheet and tucking more firmly. I felt that this was the professional thing to do. The second time this happened, he was more adamant about pulling the sheet down.

When I work on my clients, sometimes I try to "see" through the work of my hands. I was taught that it enhances our work if we sometimes look up from a massage and try to enhance our sense of touch. I once did a workshop with a therapist who was blind. She was one of the best therapists I have ever seen. Anyway, I do this at times to try to enhance my "seeing" through my hands.

Well, when I was working on his abdomen, I was circling my hands around his navel, about to finish and move onto arms and neck. Well when I was bringing my hands to rest to the left and right of his navel, my right hand hit something. Startled, I then looked down and found that he had completely removed the cover and had his penis lying directly on his belly up toward his navel. I stepped back, at first in disbelief and shock. Then I thought, "Well, maybe he is unaware". Again, not wanting to embarrass him, I pulled sheet up over abdomen and with little time left for his session, proceeded to work on his arm. Now at this point, I AM LOOKING AT HIS ARM while working. To be quite honest, I was a bit unnerved. Just trying to be professional without embarrassing him because I AM STILL GIVING HIM THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT.

Well, as I am working on his right arm, looking DIRECTLY AND ONLY AT HIS RIGHT ARM, I felt his body moving. So I glance up, and he started masturbating with his left hand underneath the sheet. I immediately stop working, step back, and quite honestly I am in shock. I have had men walk a fine line with comments and pulling draping loose and even brushing their genitalia (my husband does say sometimes a guy is just itching or adjusting). But THIS GUY IS MASTURBATING!!!!!!!

I step back and as I do he starts to come up off of the table toward me. He pulls his eye mask off and is breathing hard, sits up, and starts masturbating with his right hand. At this point, it happened so fast, I say "I'm leaving" as he is coming up off of the table to a standing position.

I am in a building with several offices, but there are times when no one is in their office. I did find a guy next door to me that was still there. I went to stand in his office and feel "safe". I honestly felt like this guy was going to grab me and force me to do something because he came up off of the table and was looking directly at me while he played with himself. He kept saying "Sorry (my name)....sorry (my name). So he knew EXACTLY what he was doing!!!!!

I waited about 10 - 15 minutes, hoping he would just leave. He didn't. I waited 5 - 10 more and he didn't. So I went and knocked on the door with the intention of saying "it's time to leave". When I knocked on the door, he said "come in". ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME??? I said, "are you dressed?" He replied no. I said, "Well get dressed. The session is over". He replied "okay".

Please, please, please, do not tell me that this was a normal occurrence!!!!! I DO UNDERSTAND that doing back and thigh work that an erection can occur. In this case, I ignore. This has actually happened twice with this client, and I ignored. I now feel like me doing this was a sign to him to cross the line a little further, and further, and further.

I truly was trying to be a professional. But I feel dirty now. I feel violated. And not to offend any rape victims, but I feel like a part of me was taken from me yesterday that I can never get back.
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replied December 18th, 2010
therapeutictouch - what he did was wrong, probably criminal. His actions were clearly intentional, pre-meditated and sexual. This is totally unacceptable and you should certainly not allow him to book any appointments in the future. Depending on how you feel, you should also tell your husband - he will be angry with the guy, but he will be understanding and will recognise this for what it is - a one-off idiot, rather than a job that entails or encourages this sort of behaviour. Otherwise you will inevitably start to feel like the criminal, who has to hide a secret, rather than the victim.

Regarding the other questions, my opinion (and I'm no expert) is that:

a. If anyone gets an unintentional erection then they will probably be embarrassed and will do their utmost to hide it or, at the very least, not show it - I certainly would. If someone gets an erection and seems keen to show it then you do not want them as a patient - they are looking for some sort of legalised exhibitionism rather than for actual therapy.

b. Drapes do not just "fall off" during unintentional stretches - if this happens once, fine (particularly if their hand moves faster than yours to cover up). If it happens twice then avoid them. Suggest that their injury would be better treated by a specific male colleague who is an expert in that area - if they book an appointment with the male therapist then they are probably genuine. If not, problem solved.

c. I'm not a masseur, so I can't comment on whether that is a normal occurrence or not. But, as stated above, it is certainly not acceptable. If you have colleagues within your therapist practice, then warn them about the guy (even, or perhaps especially, if you choose not to tell your husband, it will make you feel far better if you can tell your colleagues.

d. For the record, from everything you are saying, you acted professionally at all times. You did not encourage him. You were right to ignore his earlier actions. He progressed gradually, and it is impossible for someone in your position to make firm judgements about his actual intent i.e. even if his actions seem inappropriate, you naturally do not want to say anything unless you can be sure that his intentions were inappropriate. The ONLY person who is guilty is him.
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replied December 18th, 2010
Client crossing line during threapeutic massage!
Thank you for your candid response. I have been upset all day, picking through the events of the session to see if I can figure out "why" this happened. I still do not feel very safe, as I do not expect for this client to allow the severing of this client/therapist relationship.

What bothers me greatly is that he became so uncontrollable and animalistic. It scared me!

But your response brought comfort to me. Thank you. I will update the details as necessary.
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replied September 22nd, 2011
Tantra and Tantric Massage - 7 Vital Aspects
What springs to mind when you hear the word Tantra? Old hippy couples, the Kama Sutra, or perhaps sex that lasts for days and days, whatever your imgaination sums up, have you ever been curious to find out more about the benefits of Tantra and Tantric Massage n? The following article gives a great introduction to the princliples of Tantra and how these principles are incorporated in to Tantric Massage which can benefit men, women and couples alike.

Tantra seems to caught up in an air of mystery or a secret sex cult. Tantra is enshrouded by the sexual aspect of it; however the broader approaches of breath work, meditation, movement and ritual are a much larger part of it. Perhaps if we replace the word Zen with Tantra it helps to demystify it somewhat. Zen is defined as an approach, a way of seeing the world, a meditate state of mind - that enlightenment can be attained through meditation, self-contemplation, and intuition. Tantra is about expansion, and connection with the universe, a way of achieving unity, and ultimately about our perception of reality. Tantric Massage aims to use various techniques, deep breathing, relaxation, connecting exercises to help drop you into 'reality' to truly see, feel and experience the sensation in the body, senses and energy. There are seven main principles within Tantra which Tantric massage aim to incorporate. These principles are Surrender, Awareness, Movement, Breath, Sound, Intention, and Acceptance.

Surrendering to pleasure, releasing control with confidence that you are acting out the wishes of the Devine/universal. It is by letting go we allow our views to be stretched, so that decisions based on habitual responses such as fear maybe changed, allowing growth. Surrender is also concerned with self appreciation, how incredible we truly are on all levels, rather than seeing surrender as a negative of renouncing something, it can allow new perspective.

Awareness and surrender go hand in hand; awareness allows us to awaken to every instant, being present in each moment to experience the vividness it has to offer. To develop inner trust to let go, knowing we are aware of the consequence of our actions

Awareness of each movement allows elegance and ease, as movement in the body also moves the energy. Preventing energy escaping maintains a balance between rest and activities which are vital. Tantra see's rest as a way of storing energy and by moving you spread your energy around the whole body. It is not just on a physical level, but also on an emotional and spiritual level that movement and rest are vital, and the flow of movement across our whole being one important step in tantric massage.

When was the last time you were aware of your breathing? Breathing is one of the ways that we can nourish ourselves and take in that delicious universal energy; it is a fantastic way of connecting to what is happening within our own bodies, but also a great way of connecting with partners and allows us to go deeper. Each exhale surrender, each inhale awareness.

Vocalizing how we feel, and what we really want to say is tricky in modern society as such people suppress and inhibit themselves. Tantric massage seeks to allow a person to express how they are feeling vocally or verbally, in truth and without judgment.

Clarity of mind arises from surrendered consciousness to shift energy, renewed by breathing and triggered by sounding, uncovering the ecstasy in each moment. Intuition or innate knowing lets our true nature takes hold, the splendor inside begins to spill outside.

Acceptance says yes to all things. There is a freedom from disciple, seeing that all acts are divine, to let go of right or wrong, good or bad without criticism. You can use the keys for every aspect of life such as work, sex, health, love, communication. Tantra supports us in living a liberated, satisfied, and brilliant life and tantric massage fuses these elements together in a sublime and heartfelt way.
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replied January 20th, 2012
Don't bother them. Its up to you dude if you will deal with it. If your purpose is just a massage then it is.
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replied March 1st, 2012
I think I'd die from embarrassment if I got a boner during a massage. I couldn't think of anything worse short of ones clothes suddenly falling off during public speaking.

I've had a few massages from female PT's and it was not remotely erotic. One time a female hygienists was cleaning my teeth and for some reason it was oddly erotic and it took all my will-power to suppress an erection.

Another time the woman Doctor asked me to take my trousers down during a routine physical she she could check my balls. I could tell she kind of got a bit of a thrill from this, and she asked me to hold my penis back (it was draped over my balls). I think it was this mention of my penis but I could feel the blood starting to pump and she did check/feel my balls for perhaps a bit longer than necessary. I was holding my penis back and half covering it with my hand so the semi I developed was not that obvious I hope, but when I got up from the couch thing it did kind spring out as I pulled my briefs up.
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