I am a 22 year old and i have been in a stable relationship for 3 years now. I love my girlfriend and am attracted to her, about a month ago a friend almost walked in on us and i lost my errection mid way, after that incident i have tried a lot to not think about it and divert my attention but i just dont seem to even show the slightest errection. Once in between i got errect and we had sex but after that it was the same story of not getting errect.
I am sort of worried, I have noticed getting an errection in the morning and at random times of the day but unfortunately when i start arrousing my partner and the time comes to penetrate her i go soft.
- I do get errect but when i try to have sex it goes soft
- Before this problem i had a very great and healthy sex life
- around this same time the problem started i noticed i had started smoking around 1 to 2 ciggerets a day.
- I notice errections at random times of the day but nothing like before this problem started.
Please if anyone has a solution or help to this
P.S. - I havnt visited a doctor yet since im in a foreign country and doctors here are super expensive for each visit would cost me more than 300 USD.
Since you are able to have strong erections regularly or at odd times, then it is probable that that your issues are due to performance anxiety and not due to erectile dysfunction.
Performance anxiety is a very common sexual problem in which men become anxious (mostly a subconsious fright) when it comes time to engage in sexual activity. This results in thought that you may underperform during the act. This results in the lack of spontaneity in flow of sexual feelings and ultimately results in sexual dysfunction.
Almost all men experience it at some point in their lives, But it is more common in adolescents, young adults and inexperienced men with psychological weakness and inability to handle stress.
The way to correct this, is to indulge in sexual activity, when your aim is not just to maintain erections, but is to be the perfect lover for your woman. You will have to leave all your worries and stress all outside the bed room. Just be your self with your partner.
You may also self train yourself with techniques like, stop-start technique , Squeeze technique and kegel exercises which will help to improve your sexual performance.
Realize that you cannot force yourself to have a sexual response, just as you cannot force yourself to go to sleep or to perspire. The harder you try to have a certain sexual response, the harder it becomes to respond.
To reduce the pressure, absorb yourself in the pleasure of the moment. Talk to your partner without any inhibitions. Measures like mutual masturbation, erotic games and adding fun in the time you spend together should help you relax, and improve your sexual performance.
The power of positive thinking can help you accomplish anything, and if you believe that you will have great sex, you will. With patience, a clear mind, and a comfortable relationship with a great woman, you will be able to free yourself of this vicious cycle and you will begin to enjoy sex to the maximum extent.
Thank you so much for your responce on this topic, I would like to ask you if there are any natural medications that you would suggest that i can buy over the counter, that could help me relieve stress and help in overcoming my anxiety ?
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