My problems are destroying my marriage. We just had our 7 year anniversary and the day before I could not get it up. Wow what a celebration that was. I have been having ED problems since 02. So its been going on our whole marriage. And its getting much worse. A big part of my problem is I obssess about thinking "will I be ready next time or not" It's like a voice repeating in my head over and over and over. And if my wife and I are just casually snuggling or kissing I can get aroused very easily. But if I know intercourse is next I often freak out because I dont want anything to go wrong and I dont want to disappoint her. I have been to doctors for this and its definitely in my head. When I was growing up my mom was stressed about stuff all the time. She would get really really upset over weird stuff like someone used to many paper towels and wasted them. I think that I inherited this from her. I seem to get really worried about things. Not paper towels. But things seem to super upset me and stress me more than they should. So the first time I had trouble getting an erection I totally flipped out. I was really upset and ever since then I have good days and bad days and sometimes I will get in a really bad way and wont be able to get a decent erection for a couple weeks. For the past several months things have really taken a nose dive. I get so freaked out in the bed that now I have to go in the bathroom and touch myself for a little while to get excited. This seems to work well but it takes all the romance out of everything. There is no foreplay. It makes both of us feel really weird and uncomfortable. I have to power walk back to the bed and immediately have intercourse because I am paranoid about my erection going away. Many Many years ago in college I did some semi gay things with my roomate. Simulated sex. We would rub against each other sometimes with clothes on. We did not kiss or actually touch any private parts or anything like that. There was no climax. But we did both get excited. It started out as a weird joke, we were making fun of an adult movie that another roomate would not stop watching. I eventually thought "you know this is really weird" I should not be doing this. I never ever have done anything like this since. And my roomate was really sad that I did not want to do it anymore and I later found out he was gay. I have never found men attractive. I have always loved to look at women and every time I saw a nice looking girl I was like wow check her out. I have never had a feeling like this towards men. But my wife knows the story about the roomate and wonders if I could be gay or if someone molested me or did something bad to me and I have some hidden awful memory I cant remember and its making me strange and causing these sexual problems. Before meeting my wife I had a lot of problems dating women. I dont know if I seem like a show off or something, but I would rarely get a 2nd date. I would often get depressed and not date for long periods of time. My wife thinks I am weird for not trying harder to date more women. She keeps saying I am asexual and dont care about being with someone. And I was a virgin until I was 29. I know that is not normal. Please help me out with any comments or suggestions. I really dont know what to do. Something is really wrong with me.