As some of you know, my mom was diagnosed with lung cancer about a year ago. Untill now, she has been doing pretty well, just with some dull pain etc. It already had matastised from the left lung to the right lung and lumph node. She has never asked for any pain meds. I told her that they are good to have on hand cause you never know.
Well, it looks like Hospise is not far away now. Last week when she say doc, she asked him for something for pain and he gave her Darvocet every 4 hours as needed. My mother never takes pills, shes got to many to take as it is. Well, last night she took her first pain pill after I was able to get the fear out of her mind. I found out this morning she has been taking them every 4 hours thoughout the night. My mom tends to hide her pain from her girls. I told her please don't ever hide you pain from me. Just because my 1/2 sister could give a rat's a$$ about her well being does not mean I don't. We are two of a different bread.
Mom really must be in pretty much pain for her to start the pain pills. Each year I say, I pray we have her for one more B'day or one more Christmas. At least she will get to see her newest greatgrandson due any day now. At least I pray so.
I love my mother and I was never in denial about her illness. But, when it looks like it is coming to the end, things are a little more clearer and you start the greeving process, which I am in now. She is such a good woman and would give the shirt off her back for you. I just don't know what it will be like without her. I just pray that she goes in peace and not to much pain. She don't say much to her other daughter because she is worse then I am and having her own mental battle with reality. I'm the oldest of both and she always comes to me for comfort and trust. I will dearly miss her.