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End of the road for mom soon

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CarolDiane Extremely eHealthy
April 20th, 2008
As some of you know, my mom was diagnosed with lung cancer about a year ago. Untill now, she has been doing pretty well, just with some dull pain etc. It already had matastised from the left lung to the right lung and lumph node. She has never asked for any pain meds. I told her that they are good to have on hand cause you never know.
Well, it looks like Hospise is not far away now. Last week when she say doc, she asked him for something for pain and he gave her Darvocet every 4 hours as needed. My mother never takes pills, shes got to many to take as it is. Well, last night she took her first pain pill after I was able to get the fear out of her mind. I found out this morning she has been taking them every 4 hours thoughout the night. My mom tends to hide her pain from her girls. I told her please don't ever hide you pain from me. Just because my 1/2 sister could give a rat's a$$ about her well being does not mean I don't. We are two of a different bread.
Mom really must be in pretty much pain for her to start the pain pills. Each year I say, I pray we have her for one more B'day or one more Christmas. At least she will get to see her newest greatgrandson due any day now. At least I pray so.
I love my mother and I was never in denial about her illness. But, when it looks like it is coming to the end, things are a little more clearer and you start the greeving process, which I am in now. She is such a good woman and would give the shirt off her back for you. I just don't know what it will be like without her. I just pray that she goes in peace and not to much pain. She don't say much to her other daughter because she is worse then I am and having her own mental battle with reality. I'm the oldest of both and she always comes to me for comfort and trust. I will dearly miss her.
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Linndie2
replied April 21st, 2008
Mom
Hi Carrie,


I am so sorry you are going through the greving process, you are a wonderful daughter. I just want you to know I am here for you, should you ever need anything.

Love Linndie
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CarolDiane
replied April 23rd, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
Hospice has now been called in. Sad
I know that Linndie and I will always appreciate that.

Hugs!
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CarolDiane
replied April 25th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
Welll, the pain medication was not holding her. Hospice had to be called back in today to change and up her to sometlhing else. She is now on Oxycodone 80mg every 12 hours with another Oxy every 4 hours for breakthrough pain. She was in alot of pain this morning when she got up. Got a call from her other daughter letting me know. Seems like it is going at full speed now. I guess it is downhill from here gang. I am really trying my best to hold myself together but, it is not easy. I'm going over to see her tomorrow.
Thank-you Linndie for your reply. It means alot right now.
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guest25126
replied May 16th, 2008
i replied to your post on another thread but i wanted to tell you again that i have been through the same thing, and i am sorry that it is happening to you. it is really hard watching this happen and not being able to do anything about it. i wish the best for you and once again i feel for you, i really do. and im sorry.
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FrootLoop
replied July 6th, 2008
I lost my mother to lung cancer back in 2003. She never smoked a day in her life, and if she was around any second had smoke, she'd always leave. I remember not being able to go to a friend's house if their parents smoked. She didn't want me exposed to it. I still don't know what kind of cancer it was, or what caused it. I think she may have just had the genes for it... she did have a case of thyroid cancer some years before I was born, and had that taken out.

It's been almost 5 years and I still haven't gotten over it. She passed just a few weeks before my 16th birthday; she was 48. I don't know how long she had it, but I know that it was the worst after we moved, just before I started high school. From the time we moved until the time she died was so traumatic that my mind has blocked the majority of those experiences. I have very few memories from that time.

I don't know if you still have your mother now, since it's been a couple months since the last post... but I hope you do. If not, then I'm very sorry, but you should know that she is in a better place and will be watching over you.
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CarolDiane
replied July 6th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
Thank-you both
Thanks to both of you so very much. Yes, mom is still with us. Her pain threshold has gotton a bit worse. She was on 10mg morphine with a liquid for in between times. She is now on 20mg of morphine every 12 hours instead of 10. I tell ya what, she is some fighter. I would have given up long ago and just prayed to be taken. Coming from a broken home she has always had to be strong dispite her inner and outter problems. I know, I have seen many pass with lung cancer that were never smokers or around second hand smoke. I think there were so many factories in the early days, you had no choice but to breath that in as you took the smelly fummed bus to work.
You both have my sympathy. And. I also know my road ahead is going to be rocky. But strong I will try and be. I have loved ones that need me still around. My three boys.

Love and Hugs,
Carrie
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FrootLoop
replied July 6th, 2008
I wish you the best of luck with keeping your strength. My mom was the glue in our family, so when she passed everyone fell to pieces. My older brother and I were the only ones who didn't completely fall apart, and thus I had to help him keep everyone together... especially my dad. I didn't really get to grieve much during all that commotion, which is probably why I have been struggling with depression and anxiety problems.
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CarolDiane
replied July 6th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
FrootLoop wrote:
I wish you the best of luck with keeping your strength. My mom was the glue in our family, so when she passed everyone fell to pieces. My older brother and I were the only ones who didn't completely fall apart, and thus I had to help him keep everyone together... especially my dad. I didn't really get to grieve much during all that commotion, which is probably why I have been struggling with depression and anxiety problems.


Absolutly FrotLoop. It is a known fact that if you do not go through the grieving process (ei...closure) it can linger for the rest of your life. You can still find closure FrootLoop. Just go into a room by yourself and let it out.
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lonestarguy
replied July 6th, 2008
Active User, very eHealthy
Hang in there
CarolDiane wrote:
Thanks to both of you so very much. Yes, mom is still with us. Her pain threshold has gotton a bit worse. She was on 10mg morphine with a liquid for in between times. She is now on 20mg of morphine every 12 hours instead of 10. I tell ya what, she is some fighter. I would have given up long ago and just prayed to be taken. Coming from a broken home she has always had to be strong dispite her inner and outter problems. I know, I have seen many pass with lung cancer that were never smokers or around second hand smoke. I think there were so many factories in the early days, you had no choice but to breath that in as you took the smelly fummed bus to work.
You both have my sympathy. And. I also know my road ahead is going to be rocky. But strong I will try and be. I have loved ones that need me still around. My three boys.

Love and Hugs,
Carrie


Carrie,

You have my sympathy for the fight your mom is waging right now. It is never easy to watch a parfent die. My own mother died a horrible death from systemic lupus and she was also a battler. Much like your mom, she refused pain medication until it became too much for her to bear.

I wish you the best as you go through this ordeal and know that you are not alone. You have many friends here at eHealth and I know all of them hope the path ahead gets easier.

Love you, Rick
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worrywart01
replied July 6th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers I can't imagine what you must be going through right now...try to keep your head up and just know we're thinkin of you
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CarolDiane
replied July 6th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
Hi Rick
And to you lonestarguy a warm Thank-you. My sypathies also go out to you. Yes, mom also refused any treatment at all.
And yes Rick, how well I know and my blessed and greatful. My three boys and ehealth are what keep me going. I can not lie about that. They have stood by me thhrough battles of death even with myself twice the last time beiing the closest. And that is when I found this board. Ya know, some will say I am to emotional. I have always been that way. It did not take me long to know that the friends I have here on the board are the ones that are going to be my shoulder always. There are no friends that I have ever had in real life that could even come close to my cyber friends here. And I genuinly mean that. YOU gang are my rock and do'nt forget it.
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CarolDiane
replied July 6th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
worrywart01 wrote:
You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers I can't imagine what you must be going through right now...try to keep your head up and just know we're thinkin of you


I need ya all now worrywart. But, I'm really gonna need the gang down the road. Guess it will then be time to start my grieving and try and come to closure.

Thank-you for the warm words luvcomp
Carrie
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tumultuous
replied August 17th, 2008
I really wish I didn't know what you were going through, but I do. We found out my mom had lung cancer two weeks before Christmas, and she passed on March 3. It progressed so quickly that it still doesn't register sometimes. One of the hardest things has been going through my pregnancy without her (this is my sixth pregnancy, but I had 5 miscarriages while she was alive). She knew I was pregnant before she died, but I feel cheated that now that I finally carried this one, she isn't here. I just turned 23 last month, and am set to deliver any time...

It's hard to lose a mother, especially if you happen to be close. Just make sure you ttreasure each day, and as weird as this may sound, take some pictures. I wish I had some pictures of my mother before she died, because I won't ever get to take another picture with her again. I sincerely hope that you are alright, and that your mother doesn't go through too much pain. There isn't really anything one can say in such a situation, except God bless.
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lonestarguy
replied August 17th, 2008
Active User, very eHealthy
Re: Hi Rick
CarolDiane wrote:
And to you lonestarguy a warm Thank-you. My sypathies also go out to you. Yes, mom also refused any treatment at all.
And yes Rick, how well I know and my blessed and greatful. My three boys and ehealth are what keep me going. I can not lie about that. They have stood by me thhrough battles of death even with myself twice the last time beiing the closest. And that is when I found this board. Ya know, some will say I am to emotional. I have always been that way. It did not take me long to know that the friends I have here on the board are the ones that are going to be my shoulder always. There are no friends that I have ever had in real life that could even come close to my cyber friends here. And I genuinly mean that. YOU gang are my rock and do'nt forget it.


Hey Carrie:

Just checking in to see how you are doing and what the situation is with your mom. I'm still here if you need to talk.
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