I wanted to give details here but even with name changes I am not comfortable sharing.
The positive is that I enjoyed the high energy, fun, hypersexual interaction with a charming man.
The negative:
I believe I am the "other woman" who was in a 3-year relationship with a bi-polar man. He has returned to his previous girlfriend whom he once described as a friend with benefits and was undateable. About four months ago I had emotionally detacted myself from him out of self preservation. During our entire time together he continued to take women out to lunch and follow-up with old girlfriends. When I called him on this he said "we're not married". We were living together. There were a lot of other issues as well. I now love him on a different level and told him we could be friends but only if the old and current girlfriend approved.
Financially I watch him headed for disaster. He had blamed his previous financial ruin on divorce. He had just pulled himself out of this financial mess after 6 years but now is spending tens of thousands of dollars rather foolishly.
He is on medication and sees a psychiatrist. He started seeing a counselor but did not follow through. He was mood tracking but that has stopped. I do not wish to police his activities.
What you should know about people with bi-polar disorder -
They were born with brains wired differently than most. I view it as a mental condition, not an illness. They love, hate, desire and hurt, all with passion. They are no different from any of us except along with the emotional turmoil of life they must also deal with a moment-by-moment struggle of a brain wired differently.
There is no cure for BP anymore than there is a cure for having been born without arms. There is treatment and work to be done on their part. BP does not get better with age (he and I in mid 60s).
There are many levels of BP, many may not even being recognized as such. No two are alike anymore than any two of us boring people are alike.
In my case I would no longer deal with lies. I would no longer walk on eggs to avoid confrontation. There was no point in my setting parameters for a realtionship when at times he had no boundaries.
Would I do it again? Yes, probably so. It was a growing, learning experience for me; I can't speak for him.
Would I go into a relationship with a man dealing with BP again? Maybe, but with no expectations. I am not willing to go the distance for the long term with a BP person. That is not fair to "him". Note I said "not willing".
So I am the "other woman", but I fear we all may be. That was harsh but most likely the truth.
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