i dont think that you are overeacting!
i would talk to him when he is in a good mood.
even you plan to leave him even if it is for a little while to see how he would react with the break up.
i think that you have to plot and plan your escape like i did.
i wouldnt go back unless he goes to counseling with you. my brother is like this with his women, and he got it from our father and ...etc.
he's not going to change over night i think he would need help.

I can compare myself to you in a way because my boyfriend is also very critical, controling, opinionated, and just plain mean. He wants things done his way and right then and there. Am working and he takes all the money that i make and then tells me what i make dose not compare to what he makes. We have gone as far as fighting. Him pushing me around hitting me in front of my two year old son knowing that am pregnant with our second baby. I suggest that if you have the opportunity to leave and be safe just take it. Becasue i dont have a car, a cell phone , i dont have my own place and my family. I dont feel trapped i know i am. plz dont be like me

Hey arp1414
Abusive behavior, Isolation and Control are the triple play. This is textbook abuse. If this pattern of behavior is worsening, you should expect that while things may get better from time to time, he will continue to escalate in the severity of abuse. Time to go.

Do a web search for "Domestic Abuse " find a women's shelter where you can stay while you get your feet under you and support to help you process what you've suffered through.

When you leave, make it clear that you are afraid of his abusive behavior. Even if he doesn't accept what you tell him he needs to be told the reason the relationship is ending.

i agree with wolf there are many womans shelters around that can offer you support, honestly hun get out while you can and good luck...jenny

You are not over-reacting.Yes this is emotional abuse. I was in an abusive relationship that turned very physically violent. The behaviours you are describing are typical of an abuser and similar to some of the stuff my ex did to me. The only way he may change is through professional counseling. I personally would make a safety plan and get out of there. Just be sure to erase any trace of looking up information on the internet with regards to domestic abuse in case he checks. There are websites with tips etc with regards to making an safe escape plan. Also phoning a women's shelter is an excellent idea. I know how hard it is to leave especially when your partner shows his loving side one moment, the side you love, and then his abusive side next. But honestly no one deserves to be controlled, hit with words or fists. I've been through it and I don't like to see others treated this way. I hope this helped. Please update us

Listen to your gut. If it feels wrong, it is wrong.
Your husband IS an emotional abuser. My advice to you is to always be one step ahead of this guy. If you feel fearful of even bringing up your concerns with him, that is major. He has guns, so do not underestimate him. Try to find a job and move. He will not change unless he wants to. If he doesn't feel anything is wrong with his behavior, that is your answer right there.
I recently left my husband of 3 years due to all your described. There were always red flags since we dated but I just figured, Oh he's so in love with me and means nothing malicious by it.
WRONG.
It got worse over time to the point where I was becoming scared of him. He never hit me but I was seriously thinking he might one day. I waited for him to go to work one morning and had movers come to move all my stuff out. Made sure my relative was with me all day long, too. In case he tried anything funny. Did not tell him where I moved to and haven't to this day. I have no idea what my future holds at this point and feel way better. Funny, isn't it? I knew that staying in that toxic environment was going to kill me so I'd rather be happy, alone, and not knowing what tomorrow brings than knowing if I stayed I'd always be unhappy & feeling miserable with this man who gets more pleasure from being angry with me than trying to be happy together.
This type of guys do NOT change. Get some counselling for yourself. You deserve to be in a healthy relationship or happy all by yourself. You can make yourself unhappy all by yourself so why be with someone who does it for you, who does not enhance your life.
It's very doubtful he will give you an inch so eventhough you prob feel you need to stick your marriage out, your head will let you know what the deal is.
You should not feel suffocated in a relationship.
Someone once told me, "A marriage should be enjoyed, not tolerated."
Truer words have never been spoken.
Also, do NOT get pregnant. As bringing children into this will make it way more difficult.

sounds like hes already gotten control over you, i have been there and am still there if its like me it gets worse if you know for a fact that he wont blow his lid now is the time to try and talk to him. i would suggesed in a calm tone and if he hits you leave and don't come back know for a fact if a man hits you even if they love you they would never hit you in the first place if you meant more to him. and if you have more guts then i do you will take the advice my mom gave me that if a man hits you you wait till they go to bed and when you know there sound asleep you get a baseball bat and beat the hell out of him to show him.