I'm sorry to hear about your problems. You mom is probably going through a tough time and acting the way that her parents treated her. I'd suggest that you seek some help from a counselor. You need to understand that it's not your fault and that you're not responsible for your mother's happiness. Please update!

Brings back memories of my childhood however the grumpy party was my dad. Nothing I did ever pleased him and everything was my fault.

I stayed away from him and did as little as possible to irritate the monster. Did as I was asked and if he came down hard on me I told myself that it was not my fault that he is the one who has issues. Once I turned 18 I left home and now I have as little contact with him as possible (I'm now 44). Its not that I don't want to have a normal father-daughter relationship, I tried - he failed, over and over again. If you can get a counselor, please do. If not, hang in there and remind yourself that it is not your fault...

Have you tried to tell you mom what she says hurts you deeply? I did but it did not work, not to say that if you try to talk to her when she is not annoyed may work. As the previous poster said...she could be stressed. Offer to help her in whatever she may need help with...housework, etc...even the smallest things could mean the world to her. Even if she fusses about it. What does your father say or is he in the picture?

You are the middle child and she does not give your siblings heartache like she gives you. Maybe she knows you will take it and you will be OK...? Has your sisters said anything to her about them noticing that her angry and fustration are always toward you and you alone?

I do wish you the best in this situation. I don't have a book to recommend as my recommendation comes from personal experience.

This is NOT your fault, and by no means are you being a naive child. I went through the same situation; in fact, I still go through it every day. I grew up thinking that I was the reason that my family was falling apart. In reality, it is your mother that has the insecurities, the emotional problems, and she is trying to use you to stabilize her life. Are you in school right now?? Go to a counselor at your school. Sometimes they suggest doing family counseling, but this didn't work for me. Why? My mother would like at the meetings and then yell at me and my Dad afterwards. Sometimes there are support groups in your neighborhood. Lean on your sisters for support. Just keep in mind that there is a way out- whether its turning 18, going to college, moving away, or just finding a way to cope with it all. But from my experience, the longer I stay with my mom, the worse mental health problems I have. Good luck and please continue to seek help! You're not alone.

Hi I really relate to your problem. Please remember that this is not your fault and one day when you leave home you will be able to stand up to her and possibly reach some form of reconciliation. I am 40 years old and it has taken me this long to throw off the messages I received from my mum that I was pathetic and had no common sense. I knew she had a troubled childhood but it was used by my dad as an excuse for her treatment of me. I got myself into an abusive relationship as well. So get help now and don't stop speaking out until you get the help you need. You are unique and special and deserve so much more. My heart goes out to you.

Hi. Like the others, I can relate to your situation. I hope you will get to a counselor to help you through this while you are young so you can cope with it in the future. You sound like a lovely and sensitive person, and I hope your mom will change, but prepare yourself with some good therapy in case she keeps this attitute toward you for the rest of her life.
I'm in my 50s now, and my mother is in her 80s. She was terrible to me and is still capable of being very mean, but I have lived far away from her for over 30 years, so her opportunities nowadays are limited. My mother is old now, and she doesn't remember a lot of the ridiculous and hurtful things she did just because she was/is mean. I remember all of them. Here's a very bizarre example: when I was in my 20s, for God knows whatever reason, she decided to take a stroll down memory lane one day. She pulled out all of my high school prom and dance photos and cut out my date in every picture--ten years after the fact! I didn't have contact with any of the boys in the photos at the time she cut them out, but it must have given her some weird satisfaction to deprive me of my memories. I'm no psychiatrist, but I know that kind of behavior from a mother is not normal. Growing up in our house, my mother ruled, and I had little freedom. I was always a nice and honest girl and a good student--but my mother was suspicious of me anyway. I missed out on a lot as a young person because my mother's hangups and paranoia got in the way. You're stuck there right now, but remember, if you study and work hard, you can make your own way in this world. Then you can have a relationship with your mother on YOUR terms, not hers, if you want to have one at all. Whatever you do, don't let your mother's issues condition your life. Go ahead and get married, have a family and enjoy your life. You deserve it! Good luck to you, Sweetie.

I can relate I am so sorry for your situation. I have had to move back in with my mother for three months because of a divorse and it has been hell. I thought it was my fault as a teenager but I can't so much as walk by her without getting yelled at. If i speak to her and say I am concerned about you or you are hurting my feelings she kicks me out for a few days and if I beg her not to kick me out and don't leave she calls the police. She called them once then told them to leave when they came to the door but they had to see everything was ok so I had to come to the door and tell them there is nothing wrong. I can't even go for a car ride with her because if she gets angry at anything she will leave me on the side of the highway, then greet me at the door when I do come home all happy even though I walked five hours at a time she would never apologise. I do not argue back or say anything and she works herself up over a leaky shower or if her cat peed in her room, or if she had a bad day at school. She blames me and says its my fault and that I am a horrible person and spoiled I could go on. She is abusive. I am trying to get by I only have one more month to go I am just trying to avoid her. I would move out now but all my money is going to first and last months rent at my new place and I start school in January. I am 24. All I can say is maybe you should stay with someone else and cut your mother out of your life because believe me it does not get better. I am sorry to say this but she will probably always have an image of you that is not true she will always be the same person. For now I am staying silent listening to my mothers problems and counting the days, I probably won't even talk to her again after this. I try to do everything I can, like pay for groceries, make dinner, basically be a house wife lol. But she does not care. Please Remember who you are, don't let anyone interfere with that. You have your whole life ahead of you don't let her ruin it. Good luck my heart goes out to you.