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emotional after hysterectomy

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Crying or Very sad I am getting ready to have a hysterectomy due to pain from a severaly retroverted uterus. I am told that I will be very emotional and cranky after, I am wondering if this is true. My kids and boyfriend are starting to get worried that I will be a very cranky woman after this
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replied April 26th, 2008
Community Volunteer
Well it's basically going through menopause all at once. Your hormones are going to put you through the ringer. Using a progesterone cream will really help keep up your spirits. Other than that, it's going to just been a matter of will for you to keep happy.
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replied August 23rd, 2008
cranky after hysterectomy? doesn't have to be...!
Hiya

I had my op done 18th August 2008, yeah just last monday and come out on thursay and I got loads of other medical problems to deal with, however I too have one that faces the wrong way and for me seemed to push my cervix down too low, so tampons got uncomfortable to wear, especially if coughed, sneezed, they would get pushed out a bit by the lowered cervix, sex was painful and even passing stools was problematic cause the cervix pushed into the last bit of the lower bowel and caused a pocket to form (not that any medical person bothered to do anything about it, or even check it) , can't say about sex yet as its way too soon to be trying that, as will not need tampons again, but now the pains in my left side (for me in some its more right sided) are becoming a dull ache, not a sharp stabbing pain (having fibromyalgia means all pains (even non painful things) are made to feel up to 10times worse than for those with pains that do not have fibromyalgia). but passing stools even this early on I notice their is no cervix in the way.

yes i do have my cervix and my ovaries left in, I had a laproscopic vaginal assisted sub total hysterectomy mostly for uncontrollable heavy periods, but for other reasons too, like the pain being amplified by the fibro big time, which with the flooding caused me to have a poorer quality of life than if had more normal, less painful periods and bad fibromyalgia.

as for your worries and your families worries of you returning a gruppy, emotional, cranky women, yes can't say it never happens, for some it does, but then again I was highly emotional, drained and cranky before, I feel relief that for me, all the cramping, flooding and it affecting the fibromyalgia will have gone, although having still got my ovaries, means I will still carry on having hot flashes, night sweats and the perimenopausal symptoms I had before as it has been suggested that I have been going though the menopause since aged 30, I'm 37 now and still going through it.

if you are suffering pain now before your op and problems caused by your back to front uterus, then those symptoms will go, so you might feel some relief, for some sadly the thought of not being able to have any more children or if they not got any, that they will be childless for ever (as some see losing their uterus as the end of being a women) other like me accept that I'll never have children (did that many years ago, other reasons for, so don't need to go into them here) and actually see it as an end to soe of the horrible pain, loss of life quality that flooding, out the blue, the pains that doubled me up will have gone, so a new chapter is beginning, maybe once healed, my life will be less revolving around, have i got enough tampons and pads with my, got spares (knickers too) or cancelled days out, visits, shopping tris cause of the embarrassment of flooding out and having blood on your trousers, or are you got to flood out badly and soil someone else's car seat, settee, or fabric covered chair.

To try to avoid being the women you and your family are fearing you'll become, try to focus on the reasons you need the op and the benefits after you have healed, yes we all feel tired and cranky after any op, be it a hysterectomy or a new hip, or just a minor local anaesthetic type op. make sure that you get stuff from your consultant about the do's and don't after your op, so your BF can read it and understand that you can't do the washing up just cause you came out of hospital yesterday say and that he will need to cook you meals for a week t least after the op and care for your needs and you will need to rest plenty and also your children too, depends on their ages, how much you need to explain to them, ie the basic lot, or carefully make them understand that you will have a sore tummy and they must not poke, hit or jump on your belly and explain to their age groups level of understanding as much as needs be said, for older children, especially girls that are having periods already, you could explain more indepth than you would need to for a 5 year old, or for a 12year old boy, some children, think that cause mummy had an op on her belly cause she has got belly ache alot, the next time they get belly ache they might get upset or worry they will hve to under go the same op as you, so its not easy

(a friend told me about what she had to do for her daughter and son, when she had to have an op, but her sister didn't explain it too well to her daughter, about aunties op and unbeknown to her she had seen auntie washing blood from her underwear one time she had stayed with them, and had put 2 and 2 together and gotten 5, cause not long after her aunts op, this 10 year old girl started her periods and cause her mother hadn't told her about periods, the poor girl feared she had cancer like auntie and thought she would have to have a op on her belly and as she was so young, she would never be a mother at all. the poor girl got withdrawn, lucky her teacher caught her washing her underwear in the school toilets one day and called her mother and things were explained to her better. but i'm sure your someone that will be able to put your childrens fears at ease as you will your BF.

If you got to have your ovaries removed this WILL mean a surgical menopause, which can be sudden onset of hot flushes, night sweats and stuff, if you don't have now, will come as a shock to you, which can cause you to be cranky, with the loss of hormones like that, however most doctors will try HRT straight away (if you are able to take it as some people can't due to medical history family and own), but their are things you can do herbal wise that an easy symptoms, if you are to keep your ovaries, their is a small chance that they could fail within 2 years of a hysterectomy (as hysterectomy on its own means removal of uterus, not as some think everything) although some use the word hysterectomy to mean everything, if you don't know what's coming out, do find out, cause if you are under 40 and your ovaries are ok, they do seem to like keeping them where they are, even for someone like me that is suffering hormonal swings and referred ovarian pains due to having bad fibromyalgia, which affects all the hormonal systems, I got to wait and see how things go to see if things don't improve on those fronts, or get worse they will be removed at a later date...

Also if you think you will be cranky, you more likely will, try to tell yourself, that things will happen that will get you cross, like your partner not doing something correct or needing telling 3 times before he gets it right, just try to accept that for a short time, someone else has to do the jobs you normally do and learn to accept that their 'I've done it, it looks ok to me' might not be to a high standard of your 'acceptable level for being just ok.

maybe for me having bad fibromyalgia and being in pain anyway 24/7 and for over 15 years now, i have come to accept my pain and also that I will have pains from the op, possibly longer than had I not got fibro too and that it will affect my fibro, so I don't feel so cranky about it, cause i know what will pass and just be patient, however i also know that being in pain for anyone can get you down. just try to remember that although the pain isn't nice, it will get better each day, maybe sometimes too slowly for your liking, but, its a short time out of your year, that you will be in pain as bad as the first few days after the op and the lessened pains the days and week/s after 9depends on how your op goes, how big a hole they got to cut and so on as to how you'll feel, but having a hysterectomy doesn't mean you will automatically become a grumpy cranky women for ever after (unless you let it!), be strong, if you find yourself getting upset easier/sooner cause of hormonal problems, see your our Dr, it could be something as simple as the levels of your hormonal if you go on HRt are not right and another type or increase of one or other might make the world of differane, don't put up with feeling upset, cranky et.. cause just as menopause naturally, doesn't mean we all turn into grumpy old women, nor should having a hysterectomy, we can do something about it and also so come our families do stuff to help.

best of luck and I'm sure you'll be just ok in the end.
Crystal
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replied August 26th, 2008
hysterectomy
I had mine 3 years ago and you have a little emotions after, but mine has been a little emotional and cranky. I have learn to control my attitude because it only hurts the ones you love that are really close to you.
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replied September 3rd, 2008
Emotional????
Yes, but it's normal. I had my uterus and cervix removed, I still have my ovaries. Just take a deep breath. Your family is going to need to be patient with you. This is serious stuff. I had the vaginal hysterectomy. Had surgery at 1 on Thursday, home by 5:30 on Friday. My surgery was May 2008, I still have moody spells. Your body will need to adjust to the missing part(s).
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replied September 17th, 2008
Emotions and Panic Attacks are now normal for me - NO to hysto
I was advised to get a hysterectomy as the only option for my constant bleeding and after going to six different gynecologists, I succumbed to this butchery and my life turned over. The pain from this routine surgery lasted for almost two years. But the mess up is that I have no hormones as my healthy ovaries were also removed. I went into a surgical menopause and since then have been suffering with hotflashes, bone and muscle aches and thyroid issues, weight gain of forty pounds that I cant lose, memory problems. The list is a lot longer and I was told by several doctors that the surgery has nothing to do with it.

WRONG - after suffering by going to doctors and relying on their care, I started doing my research and thousands of women are going through the pain I described above. I still have no energy but have decided to devote my time to collecting and writing and educating women to not get this unnecessary surgery done.

I can recommend several books to read and have started collecting stories of many women who went through this unfortunate treatment.

Please do not hesitate to ask if I can answer any questions.
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replied August 4th, 2011
Family reactions to hysterectomy
my surgery was 3 weeks ago tomorrow. I had an emergency total hysterectomy where they took everything, including a melon sized ruptured cyst. Emotionally week 3, I have been cranky and felt abandoned. My husband and son have been great but no one else has called or come to visit since before going into surgery or at all. Are they afraid of me?
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replied August 7th, 2011
Extremely eHealthy
hi, I hope u will be taking the HRT as I have seen women in your situation destroy their marriage and family by not doing so. IT CAN ALMOST be like a mental patient because your body is very complicated and the hormones don't start in your womb they actually start in your brain so now u have completely short circuited the system and will need help RE-BALANCING THINGS
AND as to no one coming around; sure it is like hearing a guy u know had his testicles removed; problem is what to say and for men of course most will have no idea of the complexity
best wishes to u
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replied December 1st, 2011
i feel the same way.. same exact thing happened to me from the surgery to the family situation.
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replied August 9th, 2011
Community Volunteer
Hi Mojossecret and welcome to ehealth: I, too, had the full deal...Unlike you, I really didn't want any visitors...I had the abdominal deal and was cut from navel to pubic bone...I doubt that they are afraid of you, but instead trying to give you some time after the surgery....I found that it took time trying to adjust my body to this new happening...I think I felt empty and had to learn to adjust to this...

I would suggest you call one of your friends and go out to lunch...This really does help...In the meantime, rest and get your strength back...It really can take quite a bit out of you...Take care...

Caroline
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