Thank you firstly to those of you that are
about to take the time to read my post,
hopefully I will get some answers.
So here is a bit about myself including my
background story.
As a child I was extremely under weight
however healthy for it due to being part
of a swimming club. As a family we would
always sit at the dinner table and it
would take me a good 3 hours to finish. I
would swap all my meat from the plate for
my sisters veg, I would use excuses to go
to the toilet with a mouth full of food so
that I could spit it out, I would get
kitchen roll and hide food in the bin and
with the final bits of food drink glasses
and glasses of water to try and wash it
down. I did this as a kid as I just
wasn't hungry. I was called a lazy eater
as I couldn't be bothered to chew, this
was one of the reasons that i became a
veggie but my mum insisted that I still
ate fish.
I don't think my parents knew how much
food I was throwing away as you can't
blame them not sitting at the dinner table
with me for 3 hours. I carried on like
this until I was 18 and joined the Army.
I was only 8 stone when I joined and was
told that I would need to put weight on I
managed to put half a stone on it was a
struggle but enough to join.
The Army certainly taught me to speed up
when eating otherwise you went without and
with all the training my body wanted food.
I look back on my time as a kid and can't
explain what my issues were but I seemed
to have grown out of it whatever it was
(with a few periods of bingeing) and now
13 years on weigh just over 11 stone. The
problem is I have started to have issues
with food again. I recently gave up fish
I just can't stand it again and don't like
to chew. Even though I brought up eating
around a dinner table I can't stand eating
in front of people and hate the way that
other people eat there food (mouth open
and no manners etc). I am not comfortable
in my body even though people have plenty
of nice things to say about it. Due to my
build no matter how much weight I try and
loose I can't get out of a size 14. My
family is very over weight and when I see
them it scares me that I will end up like
them. I have been living on tins of soup
and salad only, that is if I eat during
the day at all. I then go in to a bing
and feel guilty afterwards. I am very
successful at work and happy in life I
really don't know what sparks these
feelings or what to do next.
Most sites that I go on only seem to offer
help for teenages please can someone help
or inform me of what they think may be
wrong with me. I know that I could a
problem and I know that it is getting
worse and I am taking steps now to try and
stop it but don't know what to do or who
to turn to.
Thank you
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Schizophreniahealth
This page was last updated on June 11, 2008
