So I went to planned parenthood on tuesday, got myself some prenatal vitamins, and found out my due date!!!


I'm 7 weeks along and I am due january 19th, 2009. I still haven't told my mother yet as my boyfriend and I are trying to work out some sort of financial plan. He decided to be a firefighter until he finishes his paramedic degree and today we are going to the health center to apply for medicaid. We still have a lot to think and talk about together and it's getting hard to even keep my mouth shut about it. My emotions are going crazy, sometimes I am elated and joyous and then I sink down into this anxiety and fear. All I want is a good life for the baby, I don't even care about these stupid made-up social stigmas about having children before marriage. I just want to be ready; emotionally and financially.

Morning sickness SUCKS. I am nauseated all day and throw up almost every day, especially if I am hungry. And then eating feels so much like a burden becauseI'm so sick all the time!

I began the pregnancy weighing 164 and now I weigh 160, 159 in the morning. I don't know if it's healthy to be LOSING weight during a pregnancy. I have been walking once a day for energy which is something I didn't used to do, and this loss in weight is a relief since I have gained thirty pounds since my boyfriend first got a job (he works at a japanese restaurant so I am always getting free take-out and haven't bothered to work any of it off!!!)

Anyway, im excited now, and anxious other times. I am mostly anxious because I want to tell everyone in the whole world, but I can't because my brother goes to school with me and if it leaks out he won't even give me a chance to get emotionally prepared for telling my parents. He'll tell right away (there is serious disfunction in my family.)

Anyway, is anyone else excited beyond belief, and then scared and just wish there was some easy way out of it??
haha, I feel like a crazy person. I'm so jumbled up inside, I've never felt so alive before!!!!