That is so sad. Im sorry you have nobody to turn to. I definately know how much that sux! BUT Im sure you know how serious drugs are..dang it really sux that you turned to that crap to heal your broken heart. If you really love her you'll get your stuff together b4 even trying to get her back. It's a mess to be in and it would hurt her even more for you to pull her down with you and I don't belive that you would intentionally hurt her like that. I really feel it would be useless to get her back and then lose her when she discovers your "problem" tell her you love her and that you never stopped. Tell her you thought you were giving her the space she wanted...then tell her you want her back but you need help. Maybe if you tell her your problem and let her know you want to get straight so you two can be together she may support your decision and even be by your side the whole way through it. If all else fails, at least you can clean up and move on...hope this helps.