Hi Blackraid and welcome to ehealth:...I read your post...In ways it fits into some things that I have read on the world of drugs...I have never used them, however, years ago I did have to use valium for a sorrow that was too big for me to handle...Needless to say, this was doctor prescribed...Got off of that quick when I found myself going 60 miles an hour on the highway in a 40 mile zone...This is how it affected me...I mean, that was a trip....
Please understand that I am not a doctor nor have any training in handling your problem...However, I question if you take too much or too strong of a combination of drugs that you can disappear so deep into your own mind that you can't find your way home...I believe something like this can happen...Kind of like going a place you should not have traveled....If something like this is true, then you must find that path back to yesterday....Whenever these bad thoughts come into your mind, kick them out...Don't allow them to stay....When you are lonely, then get out with people...Force yourself...Find everything that was dear to you and bring it back....
I'm jumping in here in a place I don't belong, but from my experience of many years ago and that one time I took Valium, I remember it well.....Do take care....
Caroline