i am a teenager and i have had sex about 7 or 8 times now. each time i have had sex i have felt really no pleasure at all. i jus doesnt feel like anything i dont kno what to do. my boyfriend always ask me when am i ever gonna cum and i dont think i ever will because i feel nothing. the last time we had sex i got on top i did kinda feel good but nothing enough to make me have an orgasim or to make me cum. my boyfriend have a pretty big penis so u dont think thats the case. and after each time we do have sex i get kinda sore and i dont kno why. i also have a problem with staying wet as they will say. when we start having sex i be kinda wet and then i get dry and then it actually starts to hurt because there no kind of wetness at all unless we use a condom. i dont kno what to do i kno he gets pleased but i dont and sex well too me its not so specail like everybody be sayin i jus want to experience the stuff i see.
first off your a teenager. so your body isnt to its full potential yet.
But if you really want advice... I can sorta help.
First off if you have sex thinking about the orgam your just going to stress yourself out and not be able to cum.
You need to be thought/stress free.
Second you need to be in the right position that pleases you.
Plus one position will get boring.
So switch up positions. Doggy style works best for reaching the g spot
Also you might try imagineing something that turns you on... like picturing some hot actor you like... or remembering a porno yourve seen.
geting a viberator could be fun to play with durning sex.
let your bf play with it on you.
remember girls need clitorial stimulation to cum...
usually around twenty minutes but all girls are different. so could be shorter or longer.
also he might try rubbing you in different places like thighs, breast, back.
OH and USE LUBE!!!!
Yeah, when I first started having sex (I was 16), I remember being kind of disappointed because it wasn't "magic" like I thought it was supposed to be. Boo on that! It just takes practice and learning about what you like and being comfortable not only with your partner but with yourself too.
I second the use of lube if you're having trouble staying wet. You don't have to stay quiet about it. If you're being hurt, tell him! He wants you to enjoy it (or he should). Being on top felt better for me when I first started, because the angle was easier, and also I could control the depth.
Since your body is just now getting used to the idea of sex, it has a lot to learn. New feelings take a while to register. An example would be, the first time someone ever gave me oral sex, I couldn't feel it really, because my body didn't know what to expect. Isn't that funny? But anyway, it's all kind of like that. Once you get used to sex, you'll start having more of the "bigger" feelings.
Also, orgasm isn't automatic. It doesn't happen just because you're having sex. There are a lot of variables that go into it, emotional and physical comfort, plenty of foreplay etc. If he's impatient, then he's going to have to get used to disappointment, because orgasm takes a lot of work by the both of you. Asking someone "did you come yet?" is the WORST thing anyone can do, because it causes the person to stress out, and it's never going to happen then.
For some people, vaginal orgasms are easy, but for others they're practically impossible. Since you're so new to sex, there's really no way to tell which you are yet. For me, I wasn't able to do it until I turned about 25ish, and had already been having sex for almost 10 years (with the same guy!). It started when we were going through a very good time in our relationship, and were extremely close and intimate with each other.
Before that though, a lot of times my boyfriend (and then husband) would make me come either before intercourse like with oral sex, or during intercourse using his fingers to stimulate my clitorous.
Masturbate! It's a fun and natural way to discover what feels good for you, and makes it easier on your partner, because, you are then able to tell him what you enjoy.
Sex was similar for me for a while. I was afraid to be vocal about how I felt, but, it's very very important to do such things.
Even now, when I know all about the magic of sex, I still believe that the whole experience is better then the sensation of sex. I prefer the fact that I am being intimate over the actual intimacy. Let loose, be free. Explore your body and all the good that sex can bring!
sex is like a nonstop learning thing, you are always learning something new, although I truly hate when men say are you finished yet, its like I was almost there and well were back at step one or I just get turned off.
You need to understand what you enjoy first before you can expect someone else to know that, majority of woman need double stimulation.....
I dated this guy who used to conversations with me while doing the deed and then he would say are you finished yet, I have called it poilitical sex, its a real turn off and its like climaxing all the time but not getting anywhere.
someone said think about someone else (WICKED) another idea is to watch porn while having sex, never hard on the eyes.
I would say abit of wine to relax you but you aren't really legal age yet but even a massage before hand, can really make it work.
I think it's all about the positions you try, because I just started having sex with my boyfriend and at first I didn't feel anything (though I didn't REALLY mind because like knasli01 the fact that I was beign intimate with someone I loved made it special for me). But we tried a whole bunch of different positions trying to find one that worked for me and we did! So just keep trying is all I can say and keep your communication open. If you can't tell him what feels good and what doesn't then you can't take any steps forward.
its soo frustrating! i have them by my self with my clitoris but i cant have them during sex or with i vibrator inside me, ive had sex tons of times and once i started faking it with my boyfriend im kind of stuck. its terrible and i hope i wont ever have to tell him of how i fake it because i hope one day ill just start having them
Yeah I know what you mean hellothere92, I started faking as well and the only time I can feel anything is when I do it myself ith y clitoris. But never an orgasm ever. Now it's like do I keep faking it or tell him the truth?
i dont feel anything hen i have sex!!!! help im 21
when i first started having sex i was 20
ive had sex with my bf several times but i dint feel nothing. ive tried several positions but they dont work at all. also im always stressed. when were going to have an intercorse i have that idea of " im not going to feel anything might as well just plis him......... my best friend told me that i shoul try my self finding the G spot but i cant!!!!!!!!!my boyfreind has a normal size penis but i dont know whatit is. what can it be ?
plaese can any body help me !!!!!!!!!!! i really need advice!!!!!!!!!!!!i really dont feel like im a girl since i dont feel nothing for me its like boooo on that!!!! its not like my friends tell me that is like magic when habing sexxx!!!!!!!! i nedd advice plissssssssssssssss
im in the same boat with anyone who doesnt feel it when they have sex. i fake it too when my bf asks me but idk if i should tell him the truth! i feel like he would be disapppointed and not want me anymore. is there something wrong with me?
i used to fake it when i was in the teens, and early twenties.
i never met anyone that took their time to give me forplay, to find out all my hot spots, to have in mind that they are going to please me first.
the doctor said some women will have orgams during sex, some during masturbation, some wont have it at all.
some young guys dont know how to give oral sex. they dont invest time in foreplay, they just want to get off.
i m 32 and i found someone who is able to make me see stars everytime he make love to me. he's one of those really freaky guys who aim to please.
are you able to have an orgams by masturbation dazedand confused435, if so this should be incorporated in your sex life.
i have the same problem. i've only had sex like 6 times and i dont feel anything. like i get wet and aroused at freaky ideas so i think everything will be fine but once we have sex its a different story. i dont really like it at all. I fake moans lol and he has no idea that it doesnt feel good to me. Then once were done im just irritated because im not satisfied. i like adventure so we had sex on a powerbox and on top of a car just to be freaky, i got a thrill out of it but im starting to think that sex isnt what everyone pumps it up to be. I never cum or havent even come close to reaching an orgasm. I keep thinking theres somethin wrong wit me but idk
i have the same problem. My boyfriend and I just started having sex and the first couple of times i didnt enjoy it but now i do (occasionally) when he has me in the right position but I still can't cum. Im starting to get very frustrated because he really wants me to enjoy sex as much as he does.
first off i dont feel like such a freak any more because i see that so many people have the same thing going on.
i have the same story as many here. Cant feel any thing. Done it several times, only orgasim i can have is if i do it myself.
Ive done many positions tried many things, its more of a uncomfurtable weird sensation, less pain now though. People say its all cause of ur feelings, for me that is a problem because the person i am with i care about. but there is no love factor, and never will be. I fear thats another matter which i may never feel haha.
but it really is annoying to not be able to feel anything and wish and wonder why i was such a freak, i even told my boyfriend at the time id been faking it, he got upset and needless to say was part of why our relationship ended but thats a long story.
help me? if even after years i feel nothing, is there something surgical that could be done, could something be that wrong?