how old are you mate?

48

We all experience stages in our lives where we doubt our self worth. I guarantee you that there are people around you who do care about you; you may not be open enough to notice this. We sometimes get caught up in ourselves and our problems. This prohibits us from seeing reality. Almost like a screen we put up. What brought you to feel this way?

oh i can tell you alright, but you wouldn't believe that a person would put up with it like i have. my husband is suffering from mental illness, diagnosed only by me. he is narcissistic and has no room in his heart to love anyone but himself. it took me a long time to realize that. and if you look into how these people are you can understand the psychological damage they can do to those around them. he is a liar, cheater, and so much worse that i can't repeat it here. when i first found out that he cheated on me i had 5 children under the age of 13, no higher education, no job skills, no where to turn. i wanted to leave but couldn't support my children. i sunk into such a deep depression, that was about 15 yrs ago. i tried to better myself and was allowed to go to college. i became a nurse 3 yrs ago. i went to work for a short time but i think my husband saw that i was becoming independent of him and he made my life hell, made it impossible for me to continue working. i can't escape him. i need help.

You are not the loser. You may feel like you are losing, but as you already identified, your husband only loves himself and is not mentally capable of loving anyone else. The world, through his filter, really does revolve around him and people are his pawns. I am sorry that you are going through this horrible time in life, and that solutions are few. What is your spiritual connection? I am proud of you for becoming a nurse. It is a challenging but rewarding career and someday I hope you can go back to it. Don't give up hope...even when there seems to be none. Connect with sympathetic others as often as possible. Remember you are a strong person and have made it this far. Don't give up.

From your writing it is evident that you are a very strong and intelligent lady who deserve to be happy and with a partner who respects and love you. Firstly, I want to ask you to change your viewpoint of yourself as a �loser�. Qualifying yourself as a nurse and bettering yourself took a lot of courage and strength. You have certainly earned my respect. If you look deep inside yourself, you will find the courage once more to move on from your situation and start a new life. I realise it is difficult due to your family responsibility (your husband might even be violent), but there is ALWAYS a way out. John F. Kennedy once said: �The one unchangeable certainty is that nothing is certain or unchangeable.� Please don�t base your own self worth on the shortcomings of your husband. His opinion of you does not have to become your reality.

Thank you, these are words I try to tell myself but when you get affirmation from anyone that any of it is true it is hard to believe it. I have decided about 2 months ago that I would go back to work. I told him that we would be able to have extra money for things like getting him a motorcycle. he likes that idea. but i have less than 1 1/2 years experience and i have been out of work for 1 yr. i have been looking for 2 months for a job. i have had 3 interviews and no offers. i live outside a large large city with many hospitals. i have offered to work days, evenings, both, weekends, PRN. i have offered to commute, i have offered to work any floor that i am qualified to work. i am a nurse and i can't find a job. i thought there was a nursing shortage. i think it is because i am a loser and everybody can see it. i don't know how to go on, i am already lifeless. what is wrong with me. i am a good person and i work hard and i'm honest and giving. why is my life so bad. i see no change coming and that makes me want to find a hole and crawl in and never come out. things are so much worse for me now than they were because i am no longer able to co-exist with that man. and i have no way out. before i could tolerate it i guess because i was fooling myself, but for whatever reason i can't do it anymore. it isn't working anymore, now the reality is right there in my face. what can i do.

Unfortunately, the truth of the matter is, if you view yourself as a loser, people will pick up on that. You have to get your confidence back. Believe in yourself and others will automatically believe in you too. Be patient - everything will come at the right time. Your realisation that you can't be with your husband any longer, is your strength, your drive - us it!

i think always look on bright sided of life of bad people think you should

awww its ok your not alone..i have depressant to alittle and at the same time i have mild anxiety disorder and top of that i have social anxiety..but you should give up..i was feeling the same way..but you should try going out people you most comfortable with and that understand how you feel right now..but never give up..be strong..