I know how you feel. I was dealing with similar feelings a few weeks ago. I think its a normal thing to go through, because your only 15. Im 18 and I was afraid I was going to hate my son because its only beginning to dawn on me that my life is changing. Everyone gets scared when life changes. There are things you , and I at about the same time, are going to be embarking on and others opr age dont get what we are going through. You will work through this. The movies portray a child and mother and there is instant bonding, but in reality its ok to not feel the unconditional love at the first moment. There are so many emotions to work through at this time. I know, Im there. If you take this into consideration, you will see that you will love your son. I know I cant wait until i get to hold mine. Its a learning process and although you might feel like you dont love him now, things will get better. Dont woeey about failing as a mother, its normal to feel nervous, and no new mother comes equipped with all they will need to be a good mother. you need to accept that ready or not your life is going to change very shortly, and there arent going to be a lot of people going through what you are going through. If you need to talk to someone who is going through it, you can message me at anytime. Ohioans gotta stick together. You and your son are going to be fine. Just try not to think about the negative, because once your baby is out in the world youll probably feel a lot different. ---- Kyra

i went through the same thing with my son while i was pregnant. The father and i broke up and my life sucked. I hated being pregnant, and at times i hated the baby, after i had him though, it changed a lot for me, at first i had some difficulty-he couldnt latch for breastfeeding and i was in shock so we didnt bond for the first coupla days, but once i got the hang of things, it started getting better. I also thought i was going to be a terrible mother, but im doing ok, its not so much what you give your child, its the time you spend with your son and the choices and changes for the better you make that make you a good mother. Take care and good luck

Oh sweetheart. You will be very hard pushed to find any mother who hasn't felt that way at least once. I was the same age as you when i was pregnant with my daughter and i had her 12 days after my 16th birthday, i am 17 now with a beautiful 17 1/2month old daughter called Mika. When i was pregnant there were times when i was confused and unsure if i was doing the right thing but i had faith in myself. When she was born i had bad postnatal depression and found it so hard to bond with her, this made me feel like i was a horrible mother and ifi'm honest sometimes i do still feel like that but about less serious things, like when Mika's trying her hardest to tell me something but i just can't understand her i feel aweful thinking that i should know what she's saying.
Everything you are saying is perfectly normal honey, you also have the added pressure of other peoples opinions quite probably. You will be a good mother and it IS ok to ask for help.

its very sad you feel this way but this is where child abuse begins. if you feel like yelling at his for kicking you whilst being an unborn baby there is alot worse to come for your child. there are people out the who cant have a baby and look to adopt. have u ever thought of adoption? maybe that would be something to think about if you doubt yourself so much. you have so much life to live being just 15 and plenty of time when you are a bit older to find the right time to have a child.
i also had my daughter when i was 16 but never felt i didnt love her

I'm sorry dear. This is not where child abuse begins. Maybe post-partum depression, but certainly not child abuse. There are times I have cursed out loud because my son, while in utero, would kick me so hard in the ribs that I thought my lungs would come out my mouth. I know he didn't mean it, but it still hurt. And at points it frustrated me. At the end stages of pregnancy you start to get tired of being pregnant on top of being exhausted because you are pregnant. Add in stress from fighting with a bf/so, you just have a recipe for a depressed young woman. Please do not tell others that based on their very rational emotions that they are on the road to child abuse.
To the OP, it is perfectly normal to feel that way. I did, and I have two very healthy, beautiful, unabused little ones. You are tired, its near the end of your pregnancy, you have hormones running rampant through you, you have stresses in life. You say you want him but are doubting yourself as a parent. Many many a young girl has been in the same boat. Some decide on adoption, some keep their baby. Do you have family that can help you? Are you yourself able to give your son the life you never had? I doubt you will make a bad mother. You took the first step and asked for help. Good on you. You need to think hard these last weeks, find some help from friends or family or other adults you trust. Talk to your OB/GYN. You would not be the first one to ask your doctor for help. You may just be overwhelmed and exhausted by the pregnancy or it could be first stages of post-partum depression. And yes, PPD can start about a month before delivery. The best advice I can give you is not to give up, don't doubt yourself, be sure to have plenty of help at hand and get treatment immediatly if you feel extremely depressed. Also please try to refrain from adding stress from fighting with your bf, some fights cannot be avoided, I know, but just try to pick your battles wisely. Figure out what you are fighting about and see if the fights are actually worth the energy spent on them. Keep positive.

I had this sort of thing aster Rylan was born. I dont know what you would call it while your pregnant, but I know its called postpartem deppression after they are born. And not everyone gets it, and it dont last for any certin amount of time. Mine lasted the first month. When it was time for my mother and sisters to start heading off you bed I would get like a sick to my stomach scared feeling because I knew I was going to be left alone with him all night and Rylan was a VERY colicy baby...so I got ZERO sleep for the first like month and a half. But im pretty sure what you are feeling is normal. Just hang in there girlie, you'll be a good mommy... if you werent you wouldnt have written his and been worried about your baby. Good luck!

motherofhighspiritedones I respectfully disagree with you. Aubrey, believe it or not, saying that you don't know if you will be a good mother is quite common. I think many first time Moms are scared that they will fail & we put tremendous pressure on ourselves to be perfect - when all a baby needs is our attention, food and love. I am 40 & have far more experience than most posters on this site, so take take in what has taken me years and years to learn.
I sounds like you want to do the right thing and that you don't want to let your baby down. It also sounds like you aren't ready for Motherhood just yet and that the responsibilites that come with Motherhood may be too much for you. It is true, that some of this can come from depression or post-partum depression, but some feelings can manifest into abuse. Babies challenge you and parents can lose it - but it is up to you to know what kind of risk you feel you pose to your baby. It sounds like you feel angry now, even a little resentful at your baby and that tells me that your feelings may not change. I think the person who recommended adoption had an excellent point. Think about it - your situation will not improve if you aren't ready for a child. Trust me.

I'm sorry but that's ridiculas. Are you telling me that when you were pregnant you never got kicked really hard and thought 'oh here we go again' or when your child was born and crying when you're exhausted you never wanted them to be quiet so you could rest?

UM, please reread my post. Because, and I quote myself..."To the OP, it is perfectly normal to feel that way. I did, and I have two very healthy, beautiful, unabused little ones. You are tired, its near the end of your pregnancy, you have hormones running rampant through you, you have stresses in life. You say you want him but are doubting yourself as a parent. Many many a young girl has been in the same boat. Some decide on adoption, some keep their baby."...now isn't that just about the same thing you just said? And dear, I can ASSURE you I have PLENTY of life experiences, probably MORE than you have had in your 40 years. I have been through EVERY single type of abuse that can be done to a child. Physical, sexual, emotional, verbal, neglect, you name it, its in my casework files from when I was a child. And my experiences made me a better person. You are further causing Aubrey distress by playing into her doubts. That is manipulative and wrong. Every woman has different emotions when pregnant. All doubt themselves. A lot get frustrated. A lot get frustrated AFTER the birth of the baby. It is NORMAL and RARELY a precursor for child abuse. If you have read any of my other posts, you would know that I know there is a difference between having frustrating emotions and ACTING upon them. She is not worried about abusing her son, she is worried about whether it is normal or not to feel as if she is not "connected" to him. And that is VERY common. She is having doubts about whether it is normal or not to feel that way, and you and one other person are the only two people on this thread that seem to feel it is a precursor to abuse. And only one of you has a child. At least that I know of. She wanted advice, not to be told that her doubts are warning signs that she "might" be a bad parent or an abuser. We, the other, supportive teenage parents, shared OUR own personal experiences, and as you can see, most of us agree...it is NORMAL.

please dont beat your self up. You are just afraid. Heck even the most stable woman whose 35 with a house and career feels fear. You wouldnt be human if you didnt. its crazy that I even see the word child abuse on here.

You are doing the right thing by talking about your fears on here. It will help you to know that we all felt the way you feel at some point.

This last weeks are hell. I dont care who you are and how many fake smiles you put on..you are miserable..lol. I love my son but I was thankful once I gave birth..lol.

And hes 5 months now. The last month and 1st month I think are the hardest. You go through soooo many emotions, its like your on a rollar coaster, and im sure most of us didnt sleep much during these months. That makes it worse.

hang in there mommy to be. you will be fantastic. I think there would be somethin wrong if YOU DIDNT FEAR these things.

its normal and things will get better before you know it

maybe you feel this way because a part of you is still unsure if you want to keep him. have you considered adoption if you kind of sort of dont kno...it only gets harder from here, it does get better, but it gets worse before.
i never felt the way you are feeling now, my boyfriend and i supported each other, loved our son and still do.. but i remember when he was born and would cry all the time, i would cry too and i would want him to just go to sleep..but he would still just cry..and feel so run down, but i had support to get through it and help me.
and i think that is whats important that you have a few people to support you in family and friends.
but if your not completely sure if you want to keep the baby maybe you should think of an open adoption..

just s suggestion, or you could talk about this to a doctor or family member or counsellor...

I'm surprised more teen parents don't feel the way that forbiddenbuttrying does. Probably many more do, but they just don't admit it.

Being burdened with the enormous task of parenthood while still being a child yourself is enough to push anyone past their breaking point.

If more young girls truly understood the huge undertaking that teen parenting really is, maybe less of them would get pregnant on purpose, and more of them would give their infants up for adoption. Most people would agree that two financially and emotionally secure adult parents are better equipped to raise a child than a 14 or 15 year old child alone is.

Okay Aochriss, I hate disagreeing with you and don't do it often. But I have seen many girls on this forum state how hard it is to be a teen parent, and RARELY the odd post of "I want a baby". The ones that "want" a baby are seeking attention most of the time, and for the most part, those of us who were young and had kids will be the FIRST to tell them how foolish they are. Girls on this thread, myself included, saying these feelings that forbidden is having, are identical to the feelings we had. It is not uncommon to doubt your parenting skills, your love, at any age, for your upcoming child. I have heard many 30 year olds talking about how they are unsure if they will love their newborn, if they are going to do a good enough job. And these women are married and stable emotionally and financially well-off. Yes, teen parenting is a special challenge but I believe that the doubts and frustrations and emotions that coencide with bringing a new baby into the world are universal among all women. Not just exclusive to teen mothers.

i completely agree with motherofhighspiritedones.
its a struggle for anyone, and we all question are we doing a good job? but you should not label teens only for thinking this way. any new parent can feel like that.
ive questioned to my boyfriend if he thinks im doing a god parenting job, and he always laughs and reassures me that im doing a good job. i think its just a insecurity some new mothers have at times.
but that is such a stereotype. because some are young they should feel the way the OP does? i think you are forgetting that everyone is different and goes about things differently. What one may be feeling is not how every one in that position is or should be feeling.

And aochriss, in schools they explain how babies are concieved, and some [not all] are taught what contraceptives are, either by school or by parents. and guess what, there are still teen pregnancies occuring. so what would making girls understand the huge task of parenting do for them? Still even with the replies to the girls saying "i want a baby" they find ways to counteract what they are told.

I have that feeling everyday i have a 10 month old baby and i feel like im such a disappointment to him put i love him to death and i believe everything is going to be okay.
Plus his smile lightens my day so much.

I dont understand how ANYONE could not love or not like their OWN baby..if you were ready 2 lay down and have sex ((knowing ther is always a possibility of becoming pregnant)) then you should grow up and take responsibility to love an do everything you can to help that baby..they didnt just purposely and magically appear inside you..you an another person did the doing and made it..
i dont evn have a child of my own yet but i know that whenever i do bcome pregnant i will love it from day 1 and never stop loving it

Babycakez... no one is saying that they arent going to love there baby, they are saying they are unsure of being a parent. It doesnt come with a manual and it is very hard to know that you are doing the right thing all the time. I was unsure about how I would feel about my son because there were so many hard conditions surrounding him and it was difficult at times. It is for anyone thats pregnant not just teens because you have a million hormones swirling inside you and at times all you feel like is a roller coaster of emotion for lack of a better term. I think all the girls on here have really taken responsibility and done what is right by their children and i think that all of them are very strong individuals. When you become pregnant, even in the most ideal situation it is still easy to be doubtful and that is all we are trying to say. It doesnt mean you dont love your child or are going to abuse it, it means that you want to be the best parent you can be and that the pregnancy is messing with your emotions.

some people have postpartum depression.....
i have a girlfriend who has 5 kids and she prays to God sometimes and ask him to show her how to love her kids.
life is so stressful, and some people are stronger than others. some people can handle things better.
i really believe that it is only a temporarly feeling that will go away.
i've never experienced it, but i was around people that has felt this way.

How are things going forbidden? I dont knoe if your around nemore but if you are i would love to hear how you are coping with being a mother and if you are loving your son like was predicted.